The Surprising Path to the Top

Image source

Top tier leaders develop their leadership; bottom tier leaders don’t. Lousy leaders don’t develop their leadership.

Those who need it most – want it least.
Those who need it least – want it most.

Simple test:

Ask yourself, “What am I doing to develop my leadership?” Lousy leaders don’t have an answer.

Number one:

I talked with Marshall Goldsmith, yesterday. Harvard Business Review named him the number one leadership thinker in the world. Marshall said the best always strive to be better.

Surprising path to number one:

Marshall said I always learn more from the people I coach than they learn from me. He’s not minimizing his value. It helps that he only works with top leaders of top organizations in the world.

Grow your leadership by growing others.

Help yourself by helping others. Teachers learn more than students.

The surprising path to the top is helping others to the top.

Unselfishly develop yourself by unselfishly developing others.

Tip:

Know less. Even if you think you know, listen and learn.

In and out:

People ask me how I come up with a leadership post six or seven times a week. I always answer the same way. I’m putting more in my cup than I’m taking out. A conversation with Marshall Goldsmith is one example.

Keep filling and pouring out of your cup.

Writing Leadership Freak is part of my leadership development. You think I do it for others and that’s true. I also do it for me. What I take in, I give out.

Tool:

Here’s a tool to help you develop others and yourself: “Managers as Mentors,” by Chip Bell and Marshall Goldsmith.

How are you developing your leadership?

Why Teams Fight and What to Do About It

Image source

Nothing is more frustrating, from a leadership point of view, than a group of individuals circling each other like vultures. Team conflict wastes time, energy, and resources.

Incompetent leaders have teams who turn on each other.

Focus:

Lack of focus invites conflict. Teams who don’t know what’s important can’t focus. Leaders focus teams by showing them what’s important, now. Focus taps creativity, generates energy, and fires urgency.

Personal agendas:

Everyone knows Mary wants her way because it makes her look good. She cares more for her career than the team’s success. Immature people think only of themselves. Mature managers manage for the benefit of others.

People, who need control or credit,
fight to get it and refuse to give it.

It’s time for a tough conversation. Reform or remove her. If you can’t remove her, make her insignificant to the team.

Naughty or nice:

Teams flounder when they don’t know how to fight nice. Advocating for ideas isn’t naughty until it becomes personal.

Naughty fighting focuses on people.
Nice fighting focuses on issues.

Naughty fighting is filled with “you.” But, blame and accusation never solve problems.

Past tense conversations never create the future.

Fit:

Those who don’t fit, fight. Give team leaders a voice in forming the team.

Team formation establishes team potential.

High performers, who don’t fit, ruin teams. Creating fit:

1. Identify purpose. Why are we here? Know who you are before identifying those who fit.
2. Authorize teams to choose new members.
3. Interview for team positions like you interview for new hires.
4. Establish your code of conduct. How will you treat each other?

Will we interrupt each other during discussions?
What happens if someone is late or doesn’t follow through?
Will we have fun or be serious?
How will we solve disagreements?
What does candor look like?

Why do teams fight with each other?

How can leaders deal with conflict in the team?

Where Passion Comes From

Passion is longing to be what you could be, but aren’t.

Passion for leadership is the combination of falling below your imagined leadership potential and longing for exceptional leadership – at the same time.

The gap between longing and attainment is passion.

You:

ABC’s of finding your passion:

1. Accept disappointing performance. You read leadership books, blogs, and articles because you long to be better. You aren’t there yet. Pain gives birth of passion.
2. Believe improvement is possible and worthwhile. Hope makes you bold.
3. Create a Picture of the preferred future. Think about ultimate goals not the process. You aren’t sure how to get there. But, when you close your eyes and dream, you see the end.
4. Deliberate steps – action. The whole path is never clear but a step is always possible.

Others:

People fuel our passion when they make us feel we matter.

Recently, people fueled my passion, again. It happened during a presentation to a group of Human Resource professionals.

I paced the back of the room like a caged animal while announcements were made. A participant came back and said, “Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?” I’m not sure if my pacing invited the question but it made me feel I mattered.

A participant asked me to sign their program. I felt awkward and didn’t respond well. “Really?” I said. I regret saying that. After reflection, it makes me feel I matter.

About half-way through my presentation, someone asked, “What’s the future for you, Dan?” That wasn’t the topic. I almost brushed it off. Instead I gave a short reply and moved on. It made me feel I mattered.

Leaders make others feel they matter.
Any fool can make others feel they don’t matter.

Passion – the courage to act on dreams – comes from within and without.

How are you making people feel they matter?

Where does your passion come from?

Too Afraid to Matter

Image source
***

Fear binds to the present.

Paralyzing fear pats you on the back when nothing changes.

Fear cheers for the status quo.

Fear says; don’t stand out because you’ll:

1. Look foolish.
2. Screw up. (You will)
3. Get in over your head.
4. Lose what you have.
5. Seem arrogant. Others aren’t standing out. What gives you the right to think you can?

Fear of loss and criticism prevents you from doing what matters.

How to matter most:

Forget and shift:

1. Forget about being in charge. Stop thinking leadership is authority, power, command and control. Shift to serving. Bring benefit. What’s the good thing you can do for others?
2. Forget about final results. Focus on the path forward. Meaningful results never happen all at once. How can you make a difference today?
3. Forget about one. Think two. An ancient proverb says, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor.” Everyone needs a “with.” Who can you stand with? Who can stand with you?
4. Forget about old guard leaders who are fear-driven, controlling, and self-protective. Pass them by. They need you to be like them.
5. Forget about fanfare and recognition. Do things quietly. Spotlights come later, if at all.

Bonus: Forget about permission.

Courage:

Above all, doing what matters takes courage.

Courage is taking action while thinking of reasons not to. 

Deep courage is bringing you to opportunities and challenges. People who matter, ask:

1. What does better look like?
2. How does my story apply to this challenge?
3. What can I do?
4. What can we do?

The path:

1. Start small.
2. Start now. Starting is the most important thing you’ll do today.
3. Start “with.”

Courage needs a next step; fear needs a guarantee.

How can people overcome paralyzing fear?

How to Bring Out the Best

Bringing out your best is child’s play compared to bringing out their best.

Leaders who bring out the best in others make courage possible. Nothing meaningful happens without courage.

Encourage courage.

Everyone is still unlearning the necessary fear parents taught us. Leaders have the courage to develop courage in others.

Who before what:

Bringing out the best in others begins with “who” not “what.” Know who you’re dealing with, before thinking about what you want them to do. Are they…

Deep or shallow:

Some respond well to being thrown into the deep end. Throw them in. Others prefer the shallow end. They prefer to learn courage gradually.

In either case, successful leaders grow the courage muscles of others.

History:

Bring out the best in others by knowing their past. The past directs the future.

1. How did they responded to new assignments?
2. What have they learned from failure?
3. What motivated them in the past?
4. Who did they mesh with?
5. Who rubbed them the wrong way?

Heart:

Bring out the best by knowing their heart. What are their values and aspirations. Are they working for advancement, for example.

You know what makes you tick.
Leaders know what makes them tick.

How can leaders bring out the best in others?

Facing Reluctance

Don’t waste yourself. You can – you must – lead.

Every connection, challenge, problem, pain-point, opportunity, or exchange, opens doors to leadership – to make things better.

Reject:

1. Embarrassment with your desire to make things better.
2. Waiting for titles or position. Leadership isn’t a title.
3. Beat-down from do-nothing detractors.
4. Traditional command and control leadership.

Every time you stifle your longing to matter,
you lose a piece of yourself.

Terminology:

Are you uncomfortable with the terms leader and leadership? Redefine them. Leadership is:

1. Influencing. Ask, “What’s important?”
2. Seeking a step toward better. Ask, “What’s next?”
3. Bringing value to others. Ask, “How can I help?”
4. Solving problems with others. Ask, “Can we fix this?”
5. Bringing yourself to challenges and opportunities. Ask, “What can I bring?”

If you can’t say, “I’m a leader,” say I’m an:

1. Influencer.
2. Collaborator.
3. Solution seeker.
4. Simplifier.
5. Liberator.
6. Next step taker.
7. Value adder.
8. Improver.

Don’t let others define you. Define yourself in terms of  your passion. Stop muffling your inner longing to make a difference.

8 tips for finding your leadership:

1. Give yourself permission. It’s always OK to do good.
2. Be you. If you like organizing, then organize, for example.
3. Help others know they matter. You matter most when you help others know they matter.
4. Step toward better.
5. Thank critics. “Thanks for telling me I can’t make a difference!” (sarcasm) Losers want you to lose too.
6. Tell a friend you want to step up.
7. Do something every week that develops you.
8. Bring others in. Leaders connect rather than retreat.

Following:

If everyone leads, who follows? Leading includes following, supporting, and enabling. Leading isn’t fighting for power and control. Great followers have hearts of leaders.

Listen to secret, stifled yearnings that whisper, “You matter.”  You’re surrounded by “ordinary” people who lead. Be one. Do something.

How can reluctant leaders find their leadership?

The Complete List of Reasons Leaders Fail

Top 12 reasons leaders fail:

1. Neglecting culture. Culture building is job-one for all leaders.
2. Lack of paranoia. The paranoid think about what could go wrong and make contingency plans.
3. Bitterness, grudges, and resentment. People fail. Successful leaders allow fresh starts.
4. Task rather than people focus.
5. Accepting complexity.
6. Lack of political awareness. Successful leaders build relationships with powerful players.
7. Failure to sell successes and accomplishments with humility. If the right people don’t know your value, you aren’t valuable.
8. Trusting the untested. Talent without a track record is dangerous.
9. Fearing great talent.
10. Postponing tough conversations.
11. People pleasing.
12. Refusing to adapt. Adaptability is the greatest ability.

Bottom 20 reasons leaders fail:

1. Stagnant pool of friends. Keep your current friends and develop new.
2. Disconnecting with others due to the blindness of power.
3. Failure to build strong teamwork.
4. Neglecting to develop skills, both theirs and those of others.
5. Needing to outshine others rather than letting others shine.
6. Confusing leadership with management.
7. Cowardice. It takes courage to lead. If you don’t think so, you haven’t led.
8. Brown nosing those above and neglecting those below.
9. Too much doing and not enough helping others do.
10. Withdrawal.
11. Over-promising.
12. Fence sitting.
13. Lack of clarity.
14. Lack of follow through.
15. Favoritism.
16. Blaming.
17. Rejecting uncomfortable ideas.
18. Excluding themselves from accountability. “Do as I say, not as I do.”
19. Lack of alignment with board members and organizational values.
20. Relying on authority.

Bonus material: “Ten Reasons Leaders Fail, Plus ONE” – Based on a conversation with the CEO of Circuit City.

What’s at the top of your list of reasons leaders fail?

What should be added to the complete list of reasons leaders fail?

Hit it with the Simple Stick

Complexity makes confused leaders feel important when they should feel like failures.

“The business schools reward difficult complex behavior more than simple behavior, but simple behavior is more effective.” Warren Buffett

Rivers take long, complex routes to the ocean because they follow the easy path. The hard path is the straight one.

Rejection:

Simplicity is rejected because it seems unimportant, ineffective, even naïve. Simple feels common and easy, even though it’s rare and difficult.

Complexity is the path of least resistance;
simplicity the most.

Sources of complexity:

1. Resistance to simplify what’s already working.
2. Reluctance to kill something that might work.
3. Lack of resolve and attention to the value of simplicity.

Complexity reflects beginnings that never died, but should have.

Finding simplicity:

Simplicity is exclusive.

Complexity is inclusive.

Simplicity is the result of elimination.

Developing simplicity is taking away not adding to. Eliminating options is taking the straight path to the ocean.

First steps:

1. Find simplicity for yourself before imposing it on others. Eliminate nonessentials; expose essentials.
2. Make the pursuit of simplicity a leadership priority. Begin pursuing.
3. Constantly scan for complexity and attack it ferociously.

The Simple Stick:

The first time I read the expression, “Hit it with the ‘simple stick’,” was reading Ken Segall’s book, “Insanely Simple: The Obsession That Drives Apple’s Success.”

People often walked away from Steve Jobs having been hit with the Simple Stick. Segall believes the reason Apple is the most profitable business in the world is it’s obsession with simplicity.

The path to exceptional includes finding your “simple stick.”

*This post continues my reflections on my visit to the Chick-fil-A Leadercast.

Bonus: “Simple Isn’t Easy“

What are the sources of complexity?

What does the path to simplicity look like to you?

Jack Welch on the Cruelest Environments

Image source: me

Jack Welch and candor come together.

It didn’t take long for the topic of candor to come up at the dinner I attended after the Chick-fil-A Leadercast. In his usual no-nonsense fashion, Jack said,

“If your employees don’t know where they stand, you have no right to call yourself a manager.”

Here’s what I’ve been thinking since dinner Friday night.

Sick, stressful environments include behaviors where:

1. Side-stepping and pretending is normal. Candor is taboo, even offensive.
2. Leaders “protect” others by massaging the message.
3. Confronting issues is rare.
4. Postponing, rather than addressing, is standard operating procedures.

Leaders who replace candor with hiding the truth become dishonest manipulators. They are either confused or self-absorbed or both.

Candor is kind; uncertainty is cruel.

Candor is kind because it generates clarity.

“Everyone wants to know where they stand.” Jack Welch

Dancing around feelings and ignoring issues:

1. Creates uncertainty.
2. Undermines credibility. You can’t trust leaders who don’t or won’t speak the truth.
3. Prolongs agony.
4. Encourages dishonesty.
5. Discourages excellence. When leaders avoid tough conversations, excellence doesn’t matter.

Dishonesty, in the name of “not hurting”
someone, hurts everyone.

Behind mediocrity is a tough conversation someone didn’t have.

Credible leaders speak with:

1. Courage.
2. Clarity.
3. Conviction.
4. Compassion. Give improvement a chance.
5. Optimism. (Another “c” would be perfect)

Credible leaders say what everyone already knows, but are afraid to say.

Kind candor:

1. Speak unvarnished truths. “Your angry outbursts frustrate your co-workers,” for example.
2. Reject excuses and blame – quickly, clearly, and firmly.
3. Develop clear pictures of “better” in terms of behaviors and outcomes.
4. Provide training, support, and resources.
5. Explain consequences.
6. Establish deadlines.

Kind candor stabilizes organizations, validates performance, lowers stress, enables excellence, and simplifies relationships.

See comments on cruelest leaders on Facebook (5-11-13).

What are the key success factors for developing candor in organizations?

Simple Isn’t Simple

Any fool can create complex.

Complexity leads to confusion.

Confusion leads to uncertainty.

Uncertainty produces cowardice.

Cowards never take meaningful action.

Simplicity:

Longfellow said, “… in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.”

John Maxwell said, “The leaders job is reducing rather than adding to complexity.” (Chick-fil-A Leadercast 2013)

Lousy leaders confuse – exceptional leaders clarify.

All successful leaders clarify by creating simplicity.

Challenge:

The challenge with finding simplicity is it sounds simple and easy. But, John Maxwell rightly indicates the path to simplicity always encounters complexity. Cloudy and confused always precedes clear and simple. Expect it.

If you haven’t felt confusion, you haven’t found simplicity.

Out of the fog:

Courageously create confusion by pressing for clarity. It’s the only path to simplicity.

“I’m not sure,” always precedes, “That’s it!”

Andy Stanley said, “If you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, you’re going to have a hard time doing it.” (Chick-fil-A Leadercast 2013)

Make simplicity your day-to-day strategy. Complexity and it’s partner confusion are inevitable, apart from intervention.

Make simplicity your operational priority. Ask:

1. Can we explain this in common, understandable language?
2. What’s confusing?
3. How are we more clear? (Great after conversations) Don’t ask, “Are we more clear?” If you can’t explain it, you haven’t found it.
4. Have we included those closest to the action in this decision?
5. Where are we fearful? (Complexity and fear are bedfellows)
6. After meetings ask, “Where are the points of highest clarity?”
7. How are we creating strategic confusion – confusion that occurs on the path to simplicity?

Bonus: Ask obvious, simple questions like, “What are we doing?”

Simple project:

Andy Stanley said the best thing he did, when he was a young leader, was create one sentence job descriptions for himself and his team.

Write a simple – one sentence – job description that captures the essences of your job. Live that sentence everyday.

Note: Special thanks to the Chick-fil-A Leadercast team for inviting me to this years event.

How can you make simplicity your mantra?

What are the essential steps on the path to simplicity?