Bullying

Bullying always escalates

One study found 37% of the American workforce had experienced bullying by bosses or coworkers.

Bullying in the office includes withholding of information critical to getting the job done, insulting rumors, and other purposeful humiliation. In farm language, the chicken with a defect gets pecked to death.

Leaders adopt personal strategies for dealing with office drama. It’s normally best to stay out of the drama but not so with Bullying. Bullying always escalates. Eventually, it will negatively impact social dynamics, productivity, and efficiency.

Leaders reach higher when they confront bullying.

You can say to the bully, “I’m not sure what’s going on but it looks like you are involved. If it doesn’t stop, I’ll get to the bottom of this.”

On the other hand, honor the one being bullied by giving them positive attention and opportunities to excel. (which may throw gas on the fire)

Bullying on the playground or in the home is no laughing matter. Tolerating it endorses it.

If you are being bullied, this web site has 8 suggestions for dealing with it. http://www.livescience.com/health/070329_bully_tips.html

How have you dealt with bullying?

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Why others follow?

Why others follow?

The simplest definition of a leader is someone with followers.  Put negatively, if you don’t have followers you’re not a leader.  So, here’s the big question.  Why are people following you?

A young leader I’ve coached received a leadership award.  After he described the award, I asked him, “Why did you receive this award?”  He replied, “I have no idea.”  I told him, ”Go find out the reason.”

Leaders reach higher when they
know why others follow them.

Why are people following you? Ask yourself these four questions.

1. What value am I bringing to those who follow me?
2. What qualities do I have that inspire my followers?
3. What do I do that creates loyalty in my followers?
4. Where am I going that makes others want to follow me?

Your family, spouse, co-workers, employees, and volunteers have answered these questions about you.  Have you?  You’ll be more effective when you fully align yourself with your strengths.  You’ll be more effective if you understand what’s motivating your followers.

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Why do you think others follow?

What qualities/behaviors invite people to follow?

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Get out of the way

Get out of the way

Good people rise higher when leaders get out of their way.

There are three prerequisites for getting out of a good persons way.

First, clearly describe the desired outcome (delegate outcomes not tasks).

Second, provide necessary resources.

Third, set a time limit (accountability).  Then get out of the way.

Leaders interfere by giving good people too much guidance.  In so doing, they mold others into their own image.  The result, followers won’t rise higher than their leader.

Leaders reach higher when they hire good people and get out of the way.

Speaking of hiring, many leaders hire themselves.  Look around you; do the people in the office have your personality type?  You hired you. Your organization won’t rise above you.  You can get out of the way by hiring people different from you.

I’m seeing people rise in the nonprofit I lead.  A young man just stepped into a leadership role and is taking his team to new levels.  Additionally, a young woman has taken a leadership role and she is doing the same thing.  Why are they exceeding their predecessors?  They were given some guidance and then left alone.  Good people will rise higher than you have risen if you meet the three prerequisites and then get out of their way.

Finally, infusing your followers with encouragement is a positive form of getting out of their way.

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How do leaders hinder good people?

What other ways can leaders get out of the way?

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Unstuck

 

Getting unstuck

 “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

I’ve heard it said that a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out.

Here are 10 suggestions for getting unstuck today.  If you don’t do at least one, you’re STUCK. 

1.  Send a thank you email with no strings attached
2. Rather than meeting one-on-one in the office, schedule a walking meeting
3. Ask someone from another department to join your meetings
4. Two minute drill – Take out a notepad, make two columns and write down your joys and frustrations
5. Make a “NOT to-do list”  – Things you won’t do today – For example: complain
6. Take an alternate path or road to common destinations or use the stairs
7. Rearrange your office
8. Identify one thing that would make this day better and do it
9. Give something away (yup, I said give something away)
10. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t connected with for ages

Can you practice one thing on the unstuck list today?  Relationships with your staff, family, spouse, and co-workers will be richer if you get unstuck.

Leaders reach higher by breaking stale patterns.

What other suggestions do you have for getting out of ruts?

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Making plans work

Making plans work

Personally, planning falls between having my teeth drilled and car trouble.  Life is too short to spend it planning.  When I think back on leadership meetings I’ve attended or led, there was abundant talking and planning but scarce action.  Many of the things discussed sounded great but never happened. 

The problem isn’t planning.   The problem is we aren’t planning to act.  Pages of graphs, colorful organizational charts, and clear cut descriptions and objectives don’t DO anything. 

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney

Leaders move from ineffective plans to effective action with five simple words. 

Who does what by when? 

Making plans makes us feel like we’re actually doing something.  Sitting in meetings and discussing plans gives the sense of getting something done but nothing could be further from the truth. 

NOTHING happens in meetings! 

EVERYTHING happens after meetings.

The only plan that matters is the plan that’s put into action.  Everything else is a colossal waste of time.  Start asking, “Who does what by when?”  Until we have clear cut answers to that question, everything is smoke and mirrors inflating pride but destroying progress.

Leaders reach higher with a five word question.

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Communication blockers

Communication blockers

“One of the basic mistakes that psychologists have documented is that we tend to blame people and their personalities for problems and ignore situations.” Chip and Dan Heath

Complaints about your communication style may not be about you.  They may stem from your situation.

The ding of an email, a buzzing cell phone, and a ringing desk phone are communication blockers.  A computer screen between you and your office guest is another communication barrier.

Leaders reach higher by removing communication blockers.

Turning off your computer speakers, silencing your cell phone, and turning your back to your computer screen are situational factors that enhance communication.

Give your spouse, office mate, boss, or employee your undivided attention by controlling the communication situation.  Let your son or daughter know how important they are to you by removing distractions when you’re listening.  Turn off the TV.  Go to a quiet spot in the house. 

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Resistance

Facing Resistance

I just spoke with a person who has a burning desire to live a high impact life.  They began explaining their vision to me.  It’s an exciting vision.  However, the inevitable “how” to make it happen fills them with fear and doubt.

Here’s my comment.  Right now, focus on what you want to do, not how you’re going to do it.  If you focus on “how” too soon you’ll never get off the ground.

With a sigh of relief they said, “It’s the how that’s really scary.  It’s the “what” that energizes me.”

People with vision face resistance.

“I’ve never done that before,” or, “We don’t know how,” or, “I don’t have time,” are all true statements.

Comfort zones kill vision.

Leaders reach higher by learning how to meet, manage, and overcome resistance.

Here’s a suggestion for getting off the ground. In the idea stage, focus on “what” not “how.”  Martin Luther King, Jr. was motivated by a dream not a plan.  Plans don’t motivate.

Infant dreams can’t withstand a barrage of “how” questions.  In addition, “How-to” conversations frequently murder great ideas.

What does your ideal family look like?  What does your organization need to do that isn’t being done?  What type of relationships do you dream?  What type of career?  Focus on “what” for awhile and don’t let “how” kill your idea before it’s born.

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What other ways can people protect and nurture a dream?

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Critics and coaches

Critic or Coach

Critics tell you what you did wrong.  Coaches point out the wrong and tell you how to be better.

It’s easy for leaders to become “critical critics” because their nature is seeing problems that need solutions.

Rather than focusing on problems, great leaders speak to potential and create new strengths in others.

Criticism is easy because it’s about the past.  But the past can’t be changed.  Coaching is hard because it’s about an unseen, unreached future.  In other words, criticism is about what was.  Coaching is about what could be.

“Being forward-looking most differentiates leaders.”
Barry Posner

Great leaders face-forward by focusing on values, strategies, and clearly defined objectives. 

For example, critical parents focus on behaviors.  Coaching parents focus on objectives.  Additionally, critical bosses focus on missed deadlines.  Coaching bosses focus on time-management skills.

Parents, bosses, CEO’s and boards reach higher with coaching.

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Criticism and vision

Vision and criticism

Here’s a suggestion for handling criticism. 

Adopt personal, professional, or project vision statements.

Here’s one of my personal vision statements.  “Become an effective, dynamic public speaker.”  That vision informs the way I handle criticism.  Let me explain.

When someone criticizes my speaking abilities, my ears perk up.  I’m not offended I’m interested.  I ask them questions because I’m searching for ways to be more effective.  I don’t take it personally because I’m pressing into my vision.

I’ll go one step further.  I actually invite people to critique my public speaking.

Vision enables us to run toward criticism rather than away from it.  Let me give you two examples.

Leaders focused on successfully motivating others won’t mind receiving criticism regarding their motivational skills.  Actually, they will solicit criticism.  They aren’t afraid to ask, “What do I do that ramps up your motivation?”  Or, “What do I do that de-motivates you?”

Here’s another example.  Parents dedicated to building a supportive family won’t mind asking their children, “Do you feel my support?”

Leaders reach higher by connecting criticism with vision.

 

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Motivation

Motivation

Fear of the board, the CEO, getting fired, people, failure, and loss are all things that motivate me.  I remember the first public event I hosted at the college.  My predecessor warned me it was doomed to failure.  To make matters worse, I only had a couple of weeks to make it happen. 

I worked feverishly night and day on that first event.  Contrary to expectations, the day of the event, the boss showed up to a well organized room full of participants.

I worked like a dog because I was afraid.  I was afraid of failure. 

Although fear works and we all have it, perhaps a more positive motivation takes us further with less distress?

What if something other than losing your position became your motivation for working hard?  What if something other than fear of losing your family or spouse became your motivation for serving them?

Let’s make today no-fear Monday.  I think you’ll reach higher with something nobler than fear as motivation.  Can you describe positive motivation?

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email.  It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.