Becoming an authentic leader

All leaders always change things.

Thinking back over the times that I’ve initiated change, one important factor emerges.

I change before I change others.

Sometimes I changed from the outside in. Once, when I was a young man, I was fired. That event radically changed me and the course of my life. Other times, change emerged from the inside-out and always included dissatisfaction, dreaming of a preferred future, and attitude adjustments.

Big hairy deal!

Change agents are dissatisfied with what is. Big hairy deal! Everyone I know is dissatisfied with stuff in their lives but they aren’t change agents.

Change agents dream of a brighter future. Big hairy deal! Everyone I know dreams of a brighter future but they don’t become agents of change.

Dissatisfaction and dreams won’t make you a change agent.

If you want to become a change agent you’ll build on the changes you have experienced in your own life. Think back to graduation, marriage, births, new jobs, divorce, near death experiences, books, people, failures, and other events that changed you. You’re standing on a platform of personal change that empowers your leadership.

Your life-changes are equipping you for authentic leadership.

Failures teach you thing to avoid or modify.

Success teach you things to repeat.

Authentic leaders align with and build on personal changes in order to become effective change agents.

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What keeps some people from building on personal life-change?

How has life-change equipped you for authentic leadership.

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Related articles:

Purposeful abandonment

UNlearning

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Honor opens the door to influence

While sitting in the reception area I wondered what Scott would be like. “Scott” is a business and community leader and the first LF subscriber I’ve met face to face. After a hand shake we made our way to a second floor conference room and engaged in a lively two hour conversation. Time flew. I learned, shared, listened and grew. It was a great experience.

During our talk, I was reminded that leadership is influence and influence is freely received not expected, required, or demanded.

How is the right of influence earned?

Extending honor opens the door to influence.

Even though we hadn’t had time to decide if we liked each other, he expressed respect for the writing I do on LF. He asked where I found the time to write and said he had told others about my blog. I felt humbled and honored.

Extending honor for what I do opened the door to Scott’s influence in my life. I’m not talking about shallow compliments and manipulation. And I’m not saying he respected me as a person. He simply honored what I do. He opened the door to influence.

Here’s one way Scott influenced me.  During our conversation, he showed me three diagrams that illustrate relational dynamics. They stick in my mind. I’ve already shared them with my wife. Scott taught me.

If you want to lead others, don’t pressure them,
honor them. Don’t demand influence, extend respect.

It turns out that Scott and I connected on several levels. We’ll get together again. I’ll listen and learn again. He opened the door to influence by extending  honor.

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Have you seen this principle working? How do you open the door of influence?

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If you liked this you may like: Changing a life

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

6 expressions of affirmation

She cautiously joins the leadership circle, feeling a bit out of place.  The leadership team invited her to the meeting for, what I’ll call, an affirmation session. She knows why she’s there but isn’t sure of the specifics.

Affirmation sessions are designed to encourage and support key organizational players.

Affirmation sessions have 6 components

Once everyone is in place, a conversation clarifying organizational mission and vision begins the process. Last Thursday, I used four questions inspired by Steve Farber’s book, “The Radical Leap” to focus on organizational vision. Everyone answered the following questions.

1. Why do you love our organization?
2. What core ideas does our organization hold that inspire you?
3. Why do you love those ideas?
4. How can you show others that love in the way you work and interact with others?

After mission and vision are clarified each leader affirms our guest by highlighting her admirable qualities, outstanding service, consistency of character, and growing potential.

Affirmations are followed by asking how things are going in her area of responsibility.

Fourth, we ask how we can help.

Fifth, we discuss her future direction within the organization or beyond.

Finally, we hand her a thank-you note with handwritten comments from each member of the leadership team.

Affirmation meetings are helping everyone because we spend time focusing on the good rather than on what needs improvement.

The only time improvement enters the conversation is when the leadership team asks, “How can we help?” At that time, any discussion of improvement focuses on the organization and the leadership team, not on our guest.

It’ll take about an hour to affirm a key organizational player.  It’s one of the best hours of my day.

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How is your leadership team affirming key organizational players? Has this happened to you?

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Related article:

http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/strengthen-strengths/

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Community Update – 03/27/10

T H A N K   Y O U

Seven weeks ago the first country code popped up on a Leadership Freak subscriber’s email address. It was UK for the United Kingdom. Two days later, AU for Australia popped up.  Two days later, the Netherlands and Pakistan appeared.

Since then I’ve seen country codes from:

Portugal
Sri Lanka
India
Mexico
Malaysia
Germany
Italy
United Arab Emirates
Finland
Hong Kong
South Africa
Singapore
New Zealand
Syria
Brazil
France
Bulgaria
Canada
Japan

The list is actually much longer because it doesn’t include email addresses from multi-national companies, RSS subscribers, Google Readers, Gmail and other Internet email accounts, visitors to a Portuguese translation, partial reposts, visitors who haven’t subscribed yet, and the hundreds of forwards that you make every day.

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Everyday someone makes a comment or sends an email explaining how LF is helping them. It might have been something I wrote or just as likely it was something you wrote.

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Thank you for reading, commenting, and
sharing Leadership Freak with others.

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Helping leaders reach higher in 300 words or less

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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Selfish coward or loyal supporter

“My boss threw me under the buss.”

“I did most of the work but my boss took all of the credit.”

“I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard my supervisor taking credit for my ideas.”

“I was blamed for something a co-worker did and my boss knew the truth and didn’t do anything about it.”

These are a sampling of quotes from emails I have received. They all reflect the anguish, disappointment, pain, and fear some employees experience because they work for selfish cowards.

Beyond cowardice – a more excellent way

In *Leadership Under Pressure, Colonel Bob Stewart offers seasoned counsel, “Care about those who work for you before you concern yourself with pleasing superiors.”

One expression of caring is loyalty.  Loyalty is surprisingly simple. However, loyalty requires courage.

Three ways to stand with your people

First, if you’re a self-serving coward, everyone already knows. Turn the corner on cowardice by apologizing in private to your victims. Don’t make a big deal about it. Just take responsibility. Then begin publicly honoring your team. Lastly, the next time the team fails say, “I screwed up.”

People are drawn to selfless honesty and repelled by selfish deceit.

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Let’s talk about it. What’s your take on, “Care about those who work for you before you concern yourself with pleasing superiors?”

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Related articles:

March is the cruelest month
Four ways to spot backstabbers before it’s too late
Waffles – Leaders reach higher by embracing their empty spaces
Pressing personal needs

Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell

If you enjoyed this article, will you send the link to others?
If you subscribe you can receive Leadership Freak in your email.

*Leadership Under Pressure is a book of lessons learned and shared in personal stories by Colonel Bob Stewart. He was the first British United Nations Commander in Bosnia. On return from Bosnia, Stewart was awarded the Distinguished Service Order. Colonel Stewart’s quote came from Leadership Now

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Caring enough to be criticized

Seth Godin said, “If you care enough about the work to be criticized, you’ve learned enough today.”

I’m applying Seth’s comments out of context and beyond his intent so don’t blame him for what follows.

Refusing to change what needs changing isn’t about the presence of fear it’s about “bad love.”

Bad love puts comfort before innovation.

Bad love puts ease before service.

Bad love puts calm before progress.

Good love faces criticism, discomfort and resistance in pursuit of the higher good.

Effective leaders overcome their fears with love.

Do you love something enough to be criticized?

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Related articles:

Resistance
Motivation

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Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell

Will you pass this article along to others?
If you subscribe you can receive Leadership Freak in your email.

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March is the cruelest month

T.S. Eliot said, “April is the cruelest month,” but in central Pennsylvania, I think it’s March.  It’s the third week of March and temperatures have swung from over 70 to below freezing.  One day it snowed and the next it was over 50 degrees.  March serves up a taste of summer warmth and then bitterly yanks the rug out from under you with another wintery blast. That’s cruel!

March is cruel because it’s unpredictable.

Emotionally unpredictable leaders are cruel. If people are dancing around you by saying, “She’s having a bad day. Or, he’s really stressed out,” you’re like March in central Pennsylvania. You have your good days and then “bad weather sets in.” You’re unpredictability makes you a cruel boss. Chances are you’re not planning to be cruel but emotional volatility is destabilizing your team.

Emotional unpredictability is a productivity bottle-neck because team members waste time and energy preparing for and overcoming the stress and pain you inflict.

In order to create stable, productive work environments leaders must be predictable.

How to become predictable?

Be transparent but not volatile. Tynan says, “A key skill for a manager is the ability to compartmentalize emotions…”

Determine to ask questions before making statements. If you haven’t learned yet, there is always more to the story so withhold judgment until the facts are in.

Find a coach, mentor or colleague who can listen to you vent.  Stress is cumulative. That means the tenth small, unresolved, stressful event may erupt into the straw that breaks the camel’s back causing people to wonder why something so small caused such a big reaction.

Develop a strategy for dealing with relational tensions that includes asking, “What should this relationship look like.” Have relational targets.

A short, slow walk may help you become more predictable because it takes at least five minutes for adrenalin to leave your system.

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What do you think? How can leaders become predictable?

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Related blogs:

10 Best questions ever
The power of calm
A taste of Friday
The whole world stinks
Face dragger

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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The truth about gaining authority

Those who cling to authority loose it.

Those who give away authority gain it.

Authorizing a team to recommend the final candidates for a position within your company enhances your own authority. Releasing others to act apart from your direct guidance motivates them to seek your guidance. Delegating decisions enhances commitment to you and your organization.

Warning:  giving authority away can’t be an act of neglect on your part.  In other words, you’ll loose authority if others believe you are neglecting your responsibilities by delegating them to others.

Who can you trust with authority?

Look for five things; vision, context, consequences, competence, and accountability.

Do they clearly understand and share your vision?

Do they understand the organizational context and consequences of their contribution?

Have they demonstrated competence?

Do they embrace accountability for their choices?

Those seeking authority, give it away.

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Questions for comments.

What other things should be true before you give your authority to another?

When should you keep authority for yourself?

Do you have a story where giving away authority worked?
Blew up?

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Related Posts:

Life down the drain

A world of mini-me’s

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Changing a life

I grew up, the oldest of four brothers and one sister, on a dairy farm in central Maine (USA). There were more cows in our town than people. I was the first in my family to graduate from college.

This morning I woke up early enough to milk the cows, 4:30 a.m., thinking about a person who changed my life and how he did it.

Robert Treadwell accomplished many things in his life.  He was a Youth Worker, Maine State Representative, and Pastor. But the thing I most remember about Bob was his ability to see. He saw value in me that I didn’t see in myself and he gave part of himself to bringing it out. He saw what could be in me.

Changing a life begins with seeing what could be and then investing in bringing it out.

How?

Identify and nurture their joy.

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Who has changed your life?

How can people investing in others?

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Life down the drain

Life down the drain.

Power is the ability to get something done.

Power is good.

Crying babies, loud roommates, angry bosses, loving spouses, and visionary leaders, all have power.  Everyone has power.  The sweetest power is the power to influence.  Sadly, few pay attention to their power and so it goes to waste.

The plan:  First I’ll overview five types of power. (it’s not a technical list)  Then I’ll offer five reasons power goes down the drain.

Understanding your power.

Threatening someone - coercive power.  Warning:  Threatening doesn’t work well with the young work force.  And doesn’t last long with anyone.

Praise - reinforcing power.  Saying, “Great job! You’re done an hour early,” reinforces the effective use of time.

When others admire you  - referent power.  This type of power is based on respect and relationship.  People who use referent power say things like, “I need a favor.” or “It helps me when you stay late.”

Rewarding – power to confer benefit.  You can reward someone with money, status, new opportunities, access, or some other perceived benefit.

Expert power – the ability to influence others through what you do well.  For example, a trusted mechanic influences customers when he explains they need new ball-joints.

Unused power can’t be reclaimed,
its life down the drain.

Five reasons power goes down the drain.

1. You mistakenly doubt or  forget your power.
2. You’re too busy with your own stuff to influence others for good.
3. You’re short-sighted and don’t have a life vision that includes positive influence.
4. Your past failures drag you into apathy.
5. You’re not thinking about leveraging your power to create good.

Wasted power is the greatest waste of all.

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I offered five ideas explaining power wastage.  Why do you think power goes down the drain?

What suggestions can you make that reverse power wastage?

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Related Posts:

Resistance

Frustration or Inspiration

Listening to Fear

Purposeful Abandonment

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

You can receive Leadership Freak in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.