Community update 04/17/10

Thank you to everyone leaving comments on LF. When you leaving comments you reach out to others and give back to the community.

A recent comment included a request for resources related to running meetings. Thanks to Dr. Mrunal K. Asher, Professor-Marketing at ITM Business School, Kharghar, India for his suggests.

‘How to Manage Meetings’ by Alan Barker

‘Organizing and Participating in Meetings’ by Judith Leigh

‘Effective Meetings’ by Phil Hodgson & Jane Hodgson (This is a reference work, not for the faint in heart)

Sunday, I’m leaving Pennsylvania for Oregon to teach for a week. Among other things, I’m excited to deliver a six hour seminar on creating personal mission and vision.

Tuesday, watch for guest blogger, Shawn Graham, author of, “Courting Your Career.” Leave a comment and win a free, signed copy of his book.

New Opportunity: After writing “Influence over a Cup of Coffee,” it occurred to me that we need encouragement to pour our life experiences into another person’s life. I’d like to create a Facebook group with the purpose of encouraging and enabling leaders to reach out to at least six persons a year. I’m not talking about long-term mentoring. I’m talking about creating an informal one-time opportunity to pour something useful from our lives into another.

In addition, I’m not looking for something else to do. Anything we do will be managed by those most passionate and experienced in this area.  Are there two or three LF readers prepared to flesh this idea out with me? I’m keeping it simple, encouraging, and enabling.

*****

Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

Influence over a cup of coffee

Recently I wrote, “Initiating High Impact Relationships.” Today, I’m explaining the easiest, quickest way to positively impact young, undeveloped leaders. It’s buying someone a cup of coffee, a mocha latte, hot chocolate, or diet soda, asking questions and telling a story.

After buying the preferred beverage, start asking about their plans and goals. Where would you like to be in a year, two, or five? If you’re lucky, they won’t have a clue. They’ll give you that “deer in the headlight look,” shift their feet, and silently wonder what the heck you’re after. That’s when you politely pounce.

In my case, I’ll begin the story of my biggest mistake in life. By this time, moving the spotlight from them to me seems to ease their discomfort.

I’ve honed my story to include this statement. “If I could change one thing about the last twenty years and only one, I’d go back and live a vision driven life.” Then I’ll pause, look at them and say, I don’t want you to make the same mistake.

Admittedly, an hour in a coffee shop isn’t the place to develop life-vision. However, I’ve found one “cup-of-coffee-conversation” yields positive results within 60 to 90 days. Within that timeframe I frequently see young, undeveloped leaders begin stepping up in new ways.

Sometimes the conversation is a onetime event. Occasionally, a deeper connection begins. Frankly, I’m not concerned about the outcome. I’m concerned about pouring from my cup into theirs. What happens after that is their opportunity.

Everyone reading this piece is older and more experienced than someone else. Everyone has learned from a mistake. Is it time for you to buy someone a cup of coffee?

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Has a short connection had long-term positive impact on your life? Can you suggest other quick, easy techniques that seasoned leaders can employ to pour their experiences into another person’s cup?

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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The fast track to influence

Without trust leaders intimidate others through fear.

On the other hand, trusted leaders influence followers through confidence and connection. Follower-confidence is rooted in a leader’s competence, consistency, clarity, and character.

The challenge – developing influence in a fast-paced world takes time. For example, demonstrating consistency takes more than an hour, a day, or a week.

The door to influence opens on hinges of empathy.  The fastest, simplest, most effective way to build trusting connections with followers is letting them know you understand and care about their feelings.

Empathy quickly builds a positive orientation toward your leadership. However, empathy won’t sustain influence. Competence, consistency, clarity, and character sustain influence.

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How can leaders show empathy? What are the dangers of showing empathy?

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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Initiating high impact relationships

When I was growing up we didn’t trust the older generation. We rebelled against them. We wanted to “stick it to the man.” Contrary to what you may think, today’s young men and women (20’s & 30’s) trust the older generation and respect their wisdom.

Seasoned leaders leave a legacy by intentionally reaching out to young leaders.

6 ways to initiate high impact relationships

#1 – Identify “targets.” Look for someone frustrated with frailties or failures that connect to ones you’ve overcome. Or, you could look for someone aiming for success in areas where you’ve succeeded.

#2 – Approach them humbly. Tell them you understand their dreams and identify with their frustration. Offer to buy them lunch. During lunch explain your own frailties in ways that connect with theirs. Then wait for them to open up. If they do, offer to share your personal path to success.

#3 – Back away quickly. If they are hesitant “run” for the door and find a hungry learner.

#4 – Pop the cork on pressure. You’re not promising success. You’re simply pouring experience from your cup to theirs. They take it from there.

#5 – Clearly identify outcomes. Connect with their vision and goals. If they don’t have vision, make creating vision the outcome.

#6 –Include structure. Establish guidelines, outcomes, limitations, responsibilities, and an ending point.

You might say, “Would you like to get together once a month for six months to hear how I learned to deal with anger in my life?” If yes, tell them you expect something in return. You expect them to listen, question, learn, and implement the wisdom you share.

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If you are “younger,” how would you like to be approached? If you are older, what suggestions can you offer for initiating high impact relationships with young leaders?

*****

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Power and gossip

Business is relational. Employees on production lines, knowledge workers in offices, sales staff on the road, managers within organizations, and corporate vision casters all succeed because of healthy, supportive relationships.

Company gossips destroy relationships. In a world where business is relationships, gossips destroy business.

Gossips love power. They can’t resist the exhilaration of sharing destructive bits of “secret” information. Knowledge is power and negative information is easy power. Positive comments and affirmations travel like snails. However, Bob’s arguments with the boss, his marital struggles, or failure to win a client’s business travel like wild fire.

Gossips hate others. I’m using the term “hate” to describe motivations and behaviors that tear down rather than lift up. Gossips love hate because hate is the shortcut to power.

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Are you an interventionist or a pacifist when it comes to gossip? When, if ever do you intervene? How should leaders deal with office gossip?

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Related articles:

4 ways to spot backstabbers before it’s too late
Sweet backstabbers

*****

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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Feeling under appreciated

The bulk of appreciation you receive in this life happens before you reach the age of six or after you’re dead. It’s a cruel, cruel world.

By the time I reached six I was surrounded by full size, cruel people, expecting me to keep my shoes tied (no Velcro back then), my shirt tucked in, food off my face, and dirt off my pants. At six, I had reached the point where I was expected to put into practice what I’d been taught.

The cruel truth

Everyone who has deeply invested in an organization, project, or person has felt under appreciated.

Why do you feel under-appreciated? Because no one understands the true amount of energy you’re expending for them. No one comprehends what you gave up to invest in their life, project, or organization. Your co-works, boss, spouse, and children can’t get inside you to understand and appreciate what goes into your efforts.

Be careful, feelings of under-appreciation can turn into self-defeating anger, self-pity, and bitterness..

Dealing with under-appreciation

#1 – Focus on giving appreciation not receiving it.

#2 – Work hard because of you not them.

#3 – Find a trusted friend who can hear your frustrations.

#4 – Express appreciation when you receive appreciation.

#5 – Don’t belittle your own work.

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What strategies can you offer those feeling under appreciated?

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Community Update – 04/10/10

THANK YOU’S

Thank you to all Leadership Freak (LF) subscribers and readers who left comments this week. There are a growing number of regulars who freely share their wisdom, experience, and perspective. I appreciate you all. Furthermore, new participants pop up every day. Everyone’s comments add value to the LF community.

Thank you to Jim Leemann and Bud Brown who sent a pile of useful information and presentations on the topic of mission and vision. Your generosity overwhelms me. This week I’m completing preparations for the trip to Oregon. I’ll be sure to give credit where credit is due.

TWITTER?

The first time I said the word twitter I smirked to let everyone listening know that I thought it was frivolous. I’m not smirking now. Twitter is a powerful tool for connecting with others who share your interests. Here’s an example of how it works.

Last Wednesday, I posted “Bottlenecks.” Early that morning, Wayne Miller asked an important question. “What do you do when the bottleneck is at the top of the department or organization?” I went to twitter.

I sent public tweets (sounds silly doesn’t it) and direct messages to several twitterpals letting them know about the question. As a result, along with all the regulars; leadership coaches, consultants, bloggers, and authors stopped into LF to add their perspective. Twitter is a powerful  tool for creating connections.

PERSONAL NOTE

The picture on this post is of my bride of 34 plus years and I. We’re all dressed up for someone else’s wedding.

It’s just over three months since I started writing Leadership Freak. I didn’t image the response it would receive. Thank you to everyone who comments, subscribes, and tells others about LF. It’s overwhelming.

If you’d like, you can connect with me, Dan Rockwell, on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn.

*****

You have my deepest regards,

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Learning to lead leaders

You may not be the king but you can learn how to influence kings.

All leaders have trusted advisors who influence their thinking, attitudes, and decisions. William Wallace captured the power of influence by saying, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” You can become the voice that influences the world by influencing leaders.

10 ways to become a trusted advisor

#1 – Always speak the truth, especially when it runs counter to current thinking. Your value is in your ability to “think otherwise.”

#2 – Understand the difference between being honest and being adversarial. Lobbying for your position isn’t the same as painting someone into a black or white decision.

#3 – Give personal support by understanding the unique pressures and challenges of being in the place where the buck stops. Be a person who pops the cork on pressure rather than creating it.

#4 – Within legal and ethical boundaries extend complete loyalty.

#5 – Become a broad minded expert. Experts who can’t see beyond their own field or department minimize their value.

#6 – Choose your king carefully. Unworthy kings already know “too” much, speak to frequently, and listen too little. Rule out kings who don’t ask questions, don’t interact well, and never change their mind.

#7 – Understand office, departmental, and corporate politics.

#8 – Make their vision your vision. You won’t enter this realm fighting for a personal agenda unless your agenda is helping the king succeed.

#9 – Honor the position even when you disagree with the decision.

#10 – Be the person who can hear what others can’t hear. If it makes you feel good to let others know how much you know, don’t enter this realm.

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Can you list other ways to earn the ear of the king? Can you further explain something on the list of 10?

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Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Who’s in the spotlight?

Carl Stotz (02/20/1910 – 06/04/1992) was the founder of Little League Baseball. He lived and died in the community where I live. In my minds eye, I can still see him watching games from his folding lawn chair. For Carl, Little League was always about the children and not about him. I never saw him publicly grabbing for the spotlight.

If you’re currently leading, you’ve experienced success in the past. You may feel the temptation to take credit, to grab for glory. I urge you to resist.

The more deeply you feel urges to step into the spotlight the more urgently you must turn it on others. However, a new problem emerges.

Praising some creates jealousy in others.

The down side of publicly shining the spotlight on others is jealousy. For example, your team completed its last project on time and under budget. Mary and Bob went the extra mile, while the other six did a good job. When you spotlight some, the “dark side” comes out in others. They think, “Why are they getting all the credit. I worked hard too. Mary and Bob are suck-ups.” What’s a leader to do?

Three Questions

Question #1 – How do you shine the spotlight on others? Note that spotlighting others is a public activity not a private one.

Question #2 – Turning the public spotlight away from you toward high performers may create jealousy in others. Should you honor high performers anyway?

Question #3 – How do you deal with any negativity that may result from spotlighting some but not all?

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Speaking of spotlights, I’m very thankful for everyone who left comments on yesterday’s blog: Bottlenecks.

*****

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the red banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Bottlenecks

I recently completed a “Lean 101-Principles of Manufacturing” training. The training included several rounds of practice in which the group attempted to manufacture a fake product. During the first practice module we easily spotted the manufacturing bottleneck. Unfinished goods piled up in front of the bottleneck and production stalled after the bottleneck.

Here’s a real-life example. During a client meeting, I suggested that a web application might solve their problem. The Director of Operations leaned forward with interest. He hadn’t thought of that option. Then he slowly leaned back and replied, “If it means our IT department has to create or do something new we can’t do it.” I immediately knew the IT department was the  place where that company’s “unfinished goods” piled up and production stalled.

Bottlenecks stagnate processes,
drain resources, and strangle potential.

Organizations persistently create bottlenecks – choke points in processes, procedures, structures, or people.

Who’s responsible?

We may try to blame others but, leaders are always responsible for creating, enabling, or tolerating bottlenecks. Therefore, unclogging bottlenecks always begins and ends with organizational leaders.

The leadership team I work with is an organizational bottleneck in at least three common ways.

Talking too much.
Acting too little.
Delegating too slowly.

We’re dealing with leadership bottlenecks by:

Calling for decisions more quickly.
Completing tasks outside our meetings.
Identifying new individuals as first-delegates.

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What organizational bottlenecks have you seen?

What strategizes can you suggest for overcoming organizational bottlenecks?

*****

Leadership Freak

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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