For the international Leadership Freak community, it’s a holiday weekend in the US. Nothing special planned. Mostly, I’m not doing what I usually do. I look forward to catching up with everyone next week.
If you are a new to Leadership Freak, noodle around and read some posts. Leave a comment and I’ll catch up with you later.
Cheers!
Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
I’ve always leaned toward the passionate side of life. For example, debate energizes me. Public speaking excites me. Advocating for a compelling vision fires me up. I agree with those who say, “Passion trumps everything.”
However, many leadership functions call for steady-calm rather than heated passion. Listening, problem solving, decision making, conflict resolution, and more all require steady-calm. Furthermore, heated passion actually hinders the things just listed.
I’ve had opportunity to watch a leader who excels at steady-calm. I admire his ability to withhold judgment, explore issues, and speak with level tones. On the other hand, I have a friend on a corporate-level career path. I believe his passionate disposition may slow his progress.
The calm side of leadership coupled with competence is the stuff that builds confidence in stake-holders, customers, subordinates and colleagues. Steady-calm makes you predictable, consistent, approachable, and trustable. However competence without a steady-calm disposition undermines the confidence of others.
How to excel at the steady-calm side of leadership?
#1. Relax! If you’re passionate, learn to chill out. Breathe deeply. Don’t let stress and pressure drive your attitude and interactions.
#2. Listen more, speak less and speak slowly. I find passion drives my mouth. The more passionate I feel the more I need to talk. The more I need to talk, the faster my words come out. It’s better to act otherwise. Use passion to quiet your spirit.
#3. Learn to delegate and trust those equipped to manage and lead. I find trusting others quiets my need for heated passion. At this point leadership is more about equipping others to act than about leading the charge.
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How do you think steady calm and heated passion relate to leadership? Do you agree with the importance of steady calm? How can passionate people learn to exhibit steady calm?
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Leadership Freak,
Dan Rockwell
Navigating relationships at work is challenging when people rub you the wrong way. I’ve done my share of rubbing people the wrong way. Sometimes the irritation is my fault and other times it’s about others. A “rubbed the wrong way” moment may be a cataclysmic collision of two people who connect at just the wrong time. It may be the result of negative history or clashing personalities. Or, perhaps it’s stress, jealousy, or disapproval.
Here are some suggestions for dealing with “rubbed the wrong way,” moments.
#1. Don’t speak quickly. Reacting quickly begins an avalanche of negativity. The old adage, count to ten before you speak, slows a series of cascading interactions that may end badly.
#2. Don’t interpret the motives of others. Interpreting motives by assuming, “He did that to irritate me,” or, “she is in a bad mood,” adds fuel to interpersonal tensions.
#3. Focus on behaviors. If someone is late, don’t assume they over-slept. Limit your comments to observable behaviors. Don’t say, “I see you slept in this morning.” Say, “I notice you were late.”
#4. Keep the big picture in view. Years ago, I was told a member of the support staff was nearly impossible to work with. In reality, this person’s attention to detail perfectly suited them for their position and their responsibilities within the organization.
#5. Don’t be too much of yourself. You have negative qualities that should be tempered. Don’t excuse personal responsibility by saying, “I’ve gotta be me.”
#6. Welcome and explore instruction from others who explain that you rub others the wrong way. Ask for examples and techniques that soften your abrasiveness.
#7. Focus on work. Expend your energy achieving organizational imperatives.
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How do you navigate “rubbed the wrong way” moments? How do you coach those reacting to interpersonal irritations?
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Leadership Freak,
Dan Rockwell
Today I’m expanding one of the points from my article, “Adjusting Course.”
Every course adjustment says the present isn’t satisfactory. Sadly, leaders use past short comings or failures to motivate others to change.
Looking to past failures provides painful motivation to initiate change but it won’t sustain transition.
Four ways to celebrate the past, rather than demonizing it.
Reaching higher means the past wasn’t enough. However, don’t let past shortfalls obscure past achievements. Celebrate the past by remembering past successes. During transition, establish a celebration team. Make it their job to dig up stories about past employees, projects, and achievements. It’s better to honor rather than belittle past contributions of staff or volunteers.
You’re changing because you aren’t where you want to be. However, you aren’t where you were either (assuming you’ve made some progress). Celebrate the past by highlighting progress. During transition make time to highlight enhanced skills, streamlined processes, or simplified procedures.
Celebrate the past by focusing on lessons learned. For example, don’t say we failed at gaining new customers. Say, we’ve learned our current methods of phone sales aren’t effective. Learning what doesn’t work is valuable.
Celebrate the past by recalling examples of competence. I’ll never forget the day I heard a leader say, “I’m worried you won’t achieve your goal.” The room deflated. On the other hand, wise leaders inflate others by saying things like, “I remember when everyone stepped up to solved our technology bottleneck. I’m counting on that kind of dedication.” Leaders instill confidence by recognizing competence.
The past is an anchor when it limits potential. However, wise leaders use the past as a platform for progress by celebrating past successes, highlighting progress, leveraging lessons learned and focusing on competence.
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Have you seen the past used as a whipping post? Can you think of other ways leaders can celebrate the past while moving forward?
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Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
Last weekend we were in Colorado for our son’s graduation. It was great visiting. It’s great being back in Pennsylvania. Thanks for the well-wishes. I appreciate it.
Our son’s graduation gave me the opportunity to think back on my own graduation. One phrase circles in my head. “You weren’t stupid enough to be smart.” It’s odd that the path to wisdom begins with being dumb. I heard this illustrated in a movie when a lead character said. “you can’t put anything in a full cup.” His comment was directed at an over confident character who felt he already knew it all. Wise leaders remember their cup isn’t full.
Related John Maxwell puts it this way:
“The greatest obstacle to discovery isn’t ignorance or lack of intelligence. It’s the illusion of knowledge.”
“If you want to lead, you must learn. If you want to continue to lead, you must continue to learn.”
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The look of Leadership Freak is changing. I’ve added a custom header and as time allows, I’ll be adding other pages. For example, I want to honor those who consistently add value to the Leadership Freak community. With that in mind I’m thinking of a page for the bio’s of those who consistently add value to the Leadership Freak community, perhaps a “Featured Commenter’s” page? Additionally, it could include links to their website. What do you think of this idea? Any problems that might emerge? How many words in a Featured Commenter’s bio would be appropriate? How should featured commenter’s be selected?
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Finally, thank you for your comments, corrections, additions, and tweets. In addition, I enjoy receiving your email messages. Some are instructive, others encouraging, and some share your personal questions or struggles. Rest assured that I respect your transparency and I’m committed to maintain your privacy. The Leadership Freak conversation is my favorite part of blogging.
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Leadership Freak,
Dan Rockwell
Welcome guest blogger Holly Caracappa. She connects leadership with online education. I’ve taken many online courses and can attest to the applicability of her comments. Enjoy.
Online education boasts of convenience, independence and flexibility – students can study in their home on their own schedule. The tradeoff for such advantages is the personal interaction component of education. Because of the remote nature of eLearning, traditional leadership tactics must be adapted to fit the distance learning arena.
Unlike physical campuses where leaders can implement study sessions, create campus organizations and spearhead group projects, eLearning leaders take on a more invisible role. Even though distance learners rarely find themselves engaged in live debates with their peers, online study requires a great deal of discussion and collaboration to be successful. Forums substitute written communication for verbal discussion.
Students attending accredited online degree programs must learn to lead through thoughtful and relevant writing. This stimulating engagement will evoke participation from fellow classmates and helps to build an interconnected, productive learning community. Moreover, in virtual learning environments students not comfortable with public speaking can find their voices, making online education conducive to fostering a broad leadership base.
Don’t believe that subtle leadership works? Consider a jazz ensemble. Jazz musicians do not improvise in isolation, but instead listen to the group’s initial direction, respond to it, and subsequently influence others in the group through their authentic response. It is a call and response leadership model.
Rather than spewing words into online forums, insightful e-learners digest the contributions of others before responding, leading the group toward the ultimate learning goal. In this sense, online leadership mirrors in-person leadership where a person must listen, reflect, and devise a plan of action in response to the group. This subtle leadership by participation fosters a collegial environment ready for intellectual inquiry, debate and exchange.
(Holly Caracappa is a writer for eCollegeFinder.org, an online education portal dedicated to matching students with the top online schools and best accredited online colleges.)
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You never achieve success following a straight line to a stable target. Changing conditions, lessons learned, and moving targets require leaders to adjust organizational trajectory. The path to success is a jagged line filled with course adjustments.
High achievers are demoralized when courses adjust. They feel they’ve wasted time and resources on irrelevant activates. After all, they’ve passionately pursued a carrot that you moved. Additionally, some in your organization value stability and have low tolerance for change. To them, adjusting course indicates lack of foresight, planning, or courageous leadership.
#1. Keep your eye on external targets. Organizations naturally drift toward internal complexity while losing sight of external targets. Leaders constantly correct organizational drift by shifting focus from insiders to outsiders. Success lies outside your organization with the people you’re serving. This means your training initiatives, LEAN practices, reorganizations, and realignments ultimately are about “them” not you.
#2. Celebrate the past, don’t demonize it. Using past failures as motivation to adjust course insults dedicated employees and volunteers who’ve worked toward organizational success. Rather than complaining, focus on lessons learned. For example, don’t say we failed at gaining new customers. Say, we’ve learned our current methods of phone sales aren’t effective.
#3. Look to outsiders for guidance. Don’t reinvent the wheel, leverage the experience of others. Identify successful leaders and organizations and learn from them. Additionally, reexamine your client’s orientation toward your product or service so that you can enhance your value.
There comes a time when you realize the current course isn’t working. It’s a painful, awkward moment. You may run from it. Or, you may cling to the present hoping conditions will change. The better option is adjusting your course. The path to success is a jagged line.
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What other strategies help individuals and organizations navigate course adjustments?
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Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
Yesterday’s blog went badly from the beginning. The title, “Reasons to reject advice,” led everyone astray. It sounded like I was offering legitimate reasons to reject advice. Better titles would have been “Don’t reject advice,” or “Bogus reasons to reject advice.” The original title sounded fine in my jet lagged mind because I said it with a sarcastic tone. However, the Leadership Freak community couldn’t hear the tone when they read the words. Naturally, they assumed I was giving real reasons to reject advice.
I’m offering three examples of what I said followed by what I meant. I hope it helps.
Here’s what I said. “I reject advice when I think I’m competent.”
Here’s what I meant. Competence tends to make me think I don’t have more to learn. It may be the reason I wrongly close myears to advice. It shouldn’t but it does.
Here’s what I said. “I reject advice when it comes from someone less experienced.”
Here’s what I meant. Rejecting advice should be about the message and not the messenger. Don’t prejudge.
Here’s what I said. “I reject advice from those who’ve failed.”
Here’s what I meant. I should listen to people who fail. Failure teaches people what not to do and learning what not to do saves us a world of hurt.
The best advice is advice you think you don’t need. If you listen carefully it may surprise you.
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I’m walking away from yesterday’s blog. I’m learning from my mistakes. I can tell you what not to do when writing a blog. Don’t expect your readers to hear the tone floating around in your head. Choose clear titles. Don’t use sarcasm.
Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
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This italicized text was added on 05/19/2010 just 6 hours after I posted the following article because I obviously succeeded in writing poorly. The original intent of this article, “Reasons to reject advice” was to say we SHOULD listen to advice even if it comes from sources we may not approve. I’m going to re-write this post tomorrow and see if I can clear the muddy waters… Please feel free to leave your comments and suggestions on how this post might have been written more clearly. Thanks
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My wife and I were both 19 years old when we married. Three years later our first child, Mindy, arrived. She came to us via an emergency C-section. Thankfully she was fine and has grown to marry and have three children of her own.
After Mindy’s birth my mom gave me one word of unsolicited advice. “Don’t be too strict with your children.” At 22 years old, her advice slipped off like water off a ducks back. However, her wisdom was timely. Looking back, I believe I was too strict. Thankfully Mindy overcame my lack of parenting finesse.
I didn’t heed my mom’s guidance because I wasn’t dumb enough to be smart. I had the answers to parenting. Frankly, back then I had the answers to many of life’s mysteries.
Reasons I reject advice even though I shouldn’t …
I reject advice when I think I’m competent.
I reject advice when it comes from someone less experienced.
I reject advice from people who don’t see the full picture or understand all the circumstances.
I reject advice from those out of touch with current culture.
I reject advice from those who don’t share the same responsibilities I have.
I reject advice from those I feel don’t understand me.
I believe we learn from failure but I reject advice from those who’ve failed.
There are too many reasons to reject advice! Self-justifying lists are too easy to generate so here’s a word of advice.
The best advice is advice you think you don’t need.
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Have you rejected advice you should have heeded?
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Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
Do you forget what’s important? Sadly, I do.
I’m thankful a new friend from India made a comment about gaining leaders rather than gaining followers. He reminded me my personal priority isn’t followers it’s leaders. My blog says, “Helping leaders reach higher in 300 words or less.”
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I believe high impact leaders succeed by going beyond gaining followers to growing leaders.
#1. Purposely choose serving over being served.
#2. Intentionally embrace the values, mission, and vision of others. I’m not suggesting you jettison your own values. However high impact leaders step outside themselves and into others. For example, limiting my focus to leaders in the not-for-profit sector narrows my opportunities.
#3. Learn from others. I find leaders enjoy sharing their experiences, successes, and wisdom. Every time you learn from another leader, honor them. Honor opens the door to influence.
#4. Don’t demand immediate return on your investment. Do believe broader connections create broader value-adding opportunities.
#5. Use selfishness to point the way. I know better, but I find selfishness runs deep in my heart. I’m not proud of how frequently I think of the benefit I might receive from giving to others. It’s short-sighted but, I still do it. The hidden benefit of selfishness is it points to what I should give others. For example, wanting honor is the signal to give honor.
#6. Take the back seat. Prepare others for leadership then step back. Stepping back so others can step forward taps hidden potential and creates high growth opportunities. Young leaders learn to lead by leading.
#7. Be you. Share your joys and sorrows, successes and failures.
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I’m excited to read your suggestions on how to become a person who grows leaders.
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Leadership Freak,
Dan Rockwell
Leadership Freak by Dan Rockwell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at leadershipfreak.wordpress.com.
