Lying at work

It’s my opinion that lying is rampant in the workplace.

5 Reasons people lie to the boss

#1. The boss can enhance or hinder your career track

#2. The boss can control your salary

#3. The boss argues with you when you tell them the truth

#4. The boss violates confidence

#5. The boss shoots the messenger and the problem you point out becomes your problem

5 ways to spot liars at work

#1. They blame others rather than take responsibility

#2. They never correct you

#3. Guilt may cause people to talk more

#4. Insecure people are more likely to lie

#5. Highly competitive people who need to win may tell more lies

If you are the boss, people lie to you unless …

#1. You honor those who disagree with you

#2. You give opportunities to those who think otherwise

#3. You stop hanging with brown nosers

#4. You keep asking questions that get to the bottom issues

#5. You point out inconsistencies that seem like lies

People tell the boss what the boss wants to hear. If you don’t aggressively address this tendency, many will lie to you. It isn’t necessarily malicious. It’s more likely self-serving.

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Why do people lie at work?

How can leaders spot liars?

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Check out:

12 True Behaviors that Expose Liars

The first Lie I told at Work

Vulnerability, Respect and loyalty

This story is true. Names are excluded for the sake of privacy.

He couldn’t believe his ears. A senior member of the management team actually said they felt like they were drowning. In more than 15 years he’d never heard anything like it. Before this, the company line was, “We’ll do what we have to do to get the job done.”

He embraced that philosophy and had spent many Saturdays doing what needed to be done. He’d seen others stressed and frustrated with unrealistic workloads while they did what needed to be done. But now, three years into their new position, this senior manager publicly said they were drowning in the workload and they needed help. It was counter-cultural. It was a moment of unprecedented vulnerability.

It’s not that others hadn’t complained about the workload. They had. But no one had come close to making it personal, human. No one had ever suggested that things needed to change.

The dynamic of respect

Respect is earned through competence. We respect an athlete’s skill, a speaker’s ability to influence, or a leader’s calm during stress. On the other hand, honesty about limits and frailty also earns respect.

You might fear that vulnerability calls for pity or disrespect. Within some organizational cultures, you’d be right, it does. On the other hand authentic vulnerability calls for respect in organizations that value people and integrity. This type of respect always begins at the top. Followers seldom if ever have the courage to be vulnerable when their leaders aren’t.

More than respect, vulnerability elicits loyalty. When people are drowning others throw them a rope.  In this case, doing what needs to be done becomes people centered not production oriented. Doing what needs to be done has meaning and satisfies the human need for fulfillment.

Courageous vulnerability leads to respect and loyalty.

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Can leaders go too far with vulnerability?

What have leaders done to earn your respect?

Roots of healthy confidence

John Baldoni describes leading as “taking initiative.” Initiative is risky and requires confidence. However, healthy confidence may turn into unhealthy arrogance.

Symptoms your healthy confidence may have gone too far

#1. Talking too much and listening too little

#2. Lack of open ended questions

#3. Concern for image overshadows authenticity

#4. Never apologizing

#5. Taking credit for other’s work

#6. Lying

#7. Disloyalty and lack of trust among colleagues and staff

#8. Making up your mind too quickly and then refusing to change

Finding the roots of healthy confidence

Healthy confidence is a result of alignment with organizational values, mission, and vision. When your attitudes embrace organizational values, when your decisions express organizational mission, when your outlook drives organizational vision, you have legitimate reason to be confident. You can say no to others and correcting people has context. In addition, dedicating organizational resources isn’t self-centered, you have cause to challenge others, and you can take healthy pride in behaviors that enhance organizational success.

One reason employees and leaders lack confidence may be organizational values, mission, and vision are empty words on dead white paper. They aren’t organizational life blood. Its leadership’s job to take these words and make them live. When they do, the foundation of healthy confidence is laid.

What if your confidence has become unhealthy arrogance?

Working to overcome arrogance may only exacerbate the problem.  With that in mind, I’ll venture one suggestion. Apologize to people. Take responsibility for behaviors that aren’t aligned with organizational values, mission, and vision.  When was the last time you apologized to someone? Can you remember? If you can’t remember, are you really so good as to never need to take responsibility for your shortcomings?

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Thanks to Mike Myatt for his blog “Confidence vs. Arrogance.” His article got me thinking about this topic.

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How can we bolster confidence without crossing the line into arrogance?

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Lessons from a new Hire

We’re hiring new people and I’ve noticed something about the ones who are driven to succeed. They hunger for positive feedback and instruction. On the other hand, organizational drifters don’t seem to need nor do they desire the same level of feedback. Drifters may actual resent feedback.

I overheard a new hire…

Anxiously, she said to the supervisor training her, “I need to feel like I’m making a contribution.”  Frankly, that’s what any supervisor wants to hear from a new person. Her statement reveals some important leadership truths.

Affirming high potential people…

#1. New people committed to success can’t get enough feedback.

#2. Positive feedback for new hires reinforces desired behaviors during an employee’s most moldable days.

#3. Those driven to achieve need more affirmation than those who aren’t.

#4. Correction is least offensive to those who aren’t expected to know everything.

#5. Do more than affirm behavior by highlighting progress. Affirm the desire to excel. You may have the tendency to brush off questions like, “Am I doing ok,” by replying, “Oh, you’re doing just great.” If you do, you’ve missed a golden opportunity. Rather than brushing of the need for affirmation, speak to their motive. Say, “You’re asking the perfect question. I’m delighted you care about succeeding.”

#6. Get feedback on your feedback. Once a week ask your new hire, “How’s my feedback?”

A suggested practice…

It may seem counter-intuitive but I’m suggesting you ramp up positive feedback to those you perceive as high potentials and high achievers. Please understand I’m not suggesting you stop giving feedback to poor performers. However, it seems to me that you’ll get the biggest bang for your buck if you affirm and instruct the highs more than the poors.

Positive reinforcement works best
on those passionate about success.

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How can organizations get new hires off on the right foot?

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Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look for “subscribe” in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if LF doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

A “Z” word for leaders – Zone

I was the captain of my High School basketball team.  My claim to fame as a High School basketball player is our team played in the State Tournament.

The image is the set-up of a classic 2-3 zone defense when the basketball is in the #1 position.

Don’t worry; you don’t need to know much about basketball to understand the principle of zone defense. Other sports have zones. American football includes zone defense.

Additionally, soccer and baseball player’s function within zones. Frequently, tragedy strikes when players stray out of their zones. For example, most of us have seen two baseball outfielders collide in confusion while the ball drops between them.

The trouble with zones is sometimes you’re watching the action while others play. You still have to watch the game, remain alert, fill your role, and be eager to participate. However, it can be challenging to see others at the center of the action when you want to be there too.

What to do when the action shifts out of your zone?

#1. Become a cheerleader. You may feel neglected and overlooked. If you aren’t careful, you might become a whiner. You might sulk because your skills are wasting. Resist the temptation to turn inward by turning outward. Lift yourself by lifting others. That’s part of being on a team.

#2. Avoid stealing the spotlight. Don’t try to out-do. Let others shine.

#3. Learn new skills. If you’re frequently out of the action it’s time to learn how to play in a new zone. I’ve seen people’s skill-set become less relevant to an organization. Managers and leaders should but won’t always leverage your skills. When this happens, you can feel frustrated, disoriented, unappreciated, angry, and useless. It’s isn’t pretty. You may decide to walk away. Perhaps you should. However, if you stay, learn new skills that enable you to play in a new zone.

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What do you suggest leaders do when the action shifts to another zone?

What other “Z” words can you offer leaders?

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Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

Don’t miss Leadership Freak. You can receive LF in your email. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look for “subscribe” in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if LF doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Riding an emotional Yo-yo

This is the “Y” installment of the series “Alphabet for Leaders.”

Emotional lows inevitably follow emotional highs. Nagging stress pulls you down like a lead weight. In addition, monthly physical cycles, duties you’d like to avoid, unexpected failures, and reoccurring problems lower your defenses and drain your emotional energy.

On the other hand, unexpected successes, individuals who exceed expectations, positive outcomes to ugly tasks, and affirming feedback lift you. They fill your emotional tank.

Admittedly, some leaders are more susceptible to emotional ups and downs than others. However, every leader feels the ebb and sway of emotional highs and lows. If you aren’t careful, you’ll ride an emotional yo-yo.

Eight ways to deal with the emotional yo-yo

#1. Make investments in your emotional well-being. You may become consumed with serving others, completing projects, and solving the next problem. Do a quick inventory. Are you rejuvenating your emotional well-being? If you aren’t careful, your emotional tank will run dry and you’ll get stuck on empty.

#2. Tell a trusted advisor you’re running out of steam. You may enjoy presenting the façade of invincibility but eventually it will destroy you. Sharing frustrations, disappointments, and stress may re-energize you.

#3. Develop processes and procedures that create higher levels of predictability. For example, create check lists for repeated tasks that free your mind to focus on achievement.

#4. Get some rest.

#5. Do the dirty deeds you’ve been putting off. Procrastination drains you. The dread of doing hated tasks is more draining than actually doing them.

#6. Watch your diet. I find eating fewer carbohydrates and more protein helps level the emotional playing field.

#7. Leverage rituals. I eat lunch nearly every day with my wife. It’s a point of energizing sameness.

#8. Give yourself something to look forward to.

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What techniques can you offer that refuel a leaders emotional tank?

Can you think of other “Y” words for leaders?

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Leadership Freak,

Dan Rockwell

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Finding Xanadu

(This is the “X” installment of the series “Alphabet for Leaders.”)

X-ray, xenophobia, and Xanadu are the only X words that come to mind.

Xanadu – a beautiful ,idyllic place, grabs my attention.

It’s Xanadu when …

The most fulfilling (Xanadu) experience for leaders is seeing other leaders grow.

In addition, its leadership Xanadu when input and feedback is honest. The troubling truth is, leaders are usually told what others perceive the leader wants to hear. In other words, most middle managers have learned to say things that protect and advance their own careers. Some believe that organizations are filled with hoop-jumpers. For more on hoop-jumpers take a look at William Deresiewicz, West Point lecture, “Solitude and Leadership.”

Its leadership Xanadu when others are clearly aligned with organizational values, mission, and vision.

Its leadership Xanadu when organizational vitality sparks enthusiasm in customers, staff, management, and leadership teams.

Finding Xanadu …

First, the points above indicate Xanadu begins when leaders shift from “me to we.” The challenging thing about leadership is it’s about others.

Second, Xanadu is built upon leadership development. Ulrich and Smallwood believe developing leadership proficiency is central to personal and organizational success. In addition, leaders grow when they stretch current leadership skills by facing new challenges.

Third, Xanadu requires nurturing environments. If we believe growth is the result of being stretched then extending confidence in people themselves rather than their performance enables exceptional achievement.

Fourth, Xanadu emerges when occasional failure is embraced as a learning experience.

Fifth, Xanadu is created when channels for confidential feedback exist. Perhaps the only way this happens is bringing outsiders in to perform confidential 360 degree evaluations.

Sixth, Xanadu demands dogged determination to persistently communicate in terms of values that inform mission and vision. Few things are more invigorating than participating in a values based, vision driven organization.

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What’s leadership Xanadu for you?

How can organizations create leadership Xanadu?

Can you think of any other “X’s” for leaders?

“W” words for leaders

This is the “W” installment in the series “Alphabet for Leaders.” I thought I’d break the pattern with this one. Here’s a list of “W” words followed by the first thing that popped into my mind.

Waffle/Waver: Never waffle when it comes to taking responsibility. Never waver when it comes to honoring others.

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Wage war: Attack the tendency of all organizations to turn inward and begin focusing on themselves.

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Wagon: Hitch your wagon to someone who has gone further than you have.

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Warts: Your warts make you beautiful. Well, at least they make you interesting.

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Weary: Too much weariness leads to waste.

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Wake up call: Inner dissatisfaction is you trying to get your own attention.

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Wisdom: Knowledge is about what’s in your head. Wisdom is about what’s in your hands and feet.

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Whee/whoohoo: Have some fun before you’re done.

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When: The meeting isn’t over until everyone knows when things need to be done.

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Whiff: If you swing at things you’re bound to miss. Only bench-sitters never whiff.

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Whittle: Break big issues into small pieces. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

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Whackos/weirdoes: They might be right.

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Wronged: It’s wrong that you’ve been wronged. Now what?

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Wreck: If, from time to time you don’t feel like you are going to wreck, pull over and let someone else drive.

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Worth: Did you know that some activities are worth more than others? Spend yourself of things of worth.

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Worry: Don’t!

Work: Do!

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Worm: Even the shiniest apple may have a worm.

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Words: Your words are rudders. They take you places.

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Woozy: How I feel contemplating tomorrow’s post on the letter “X.”

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What “W” word for leaders can you add to the list?

The “V” word for leaders – Vacuum

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Nature abhors a vacuum.

My own leadership journey has taken me from a passive leader to an active leader. Passive leaders only have titles. They aren’t leading. Organizations do better when the person with the title of leader is the leader.

If you don’t lead someone else will.

Who will lead if you don’t?

*Someone who wants your job

*Someone with a hidden or personal agenda

*Someone frustrated that you aren’t leading

*Someone more passionate than you

Why aren’t you leading?

*The wrong self-image-You don’t see yourself as a leader

*Misunderstanding of leadership

*Lack of confidence

*Unwillingness to make decisions

*You have no place to go-No vision

One tip for moving from passive to active leadership

Take less time to decide.

Continue working with your leadership team. Discuss important decision but don’t beat them to death. Limit the length of the conversation by keeping on target, summarizing comments, and asking if there is anything else. After reasonable input call for a decision or make it yourself.

A word of caution

Take longer with high risk, high profile decisions. Move quickly everywhere else.

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How can passive leaders become active leaders?

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You’ve just read the “V” installment of the series “Alphabet for Leaders.” What other “V” words can you offer leaders?

Undo?

This is the “U” installment of the leadership series, “Alphabet for Leaders.”

During my college days I turned my car in front of another car. The front of the other guy’s car and the right rear side of my Datsun were demolished. (Datsun became Nissan) I received a ticket for the accident. Thankfully no-one was injured.

One time, years ago, I used my public position to attack another person. I betrayed a public trust. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments.

When our children were at home, I’d get frustrated about something and yell. One time my wife told me our home was more peaceful when I wasn’t in it. Ouch!

One summer, not long ago, my wife and I got in an argument. The windows in our home were opened when I yelled, “you’re nuts.” I’m convinced the neighbors still think I’m the one that’s nuts.

I wish life had an undo button.

I used to teach Microsoft Office classes for the college where I work. You should have seen the look of relief come over students when I showed them the undo button. Let’s face it, the undo button rocks.

Sadly, life isn’t like Microsoft Office. It doesn’t have an undo button. If it did, I’d undo the things I just listed and many more. How about you?

What to do when there’s no undo?

When neglect hurts others, apologize. When arrogance or anger come out, say, “I was wrong.” Look an offended party in the eye and say, “Will you forgive me?”

Don’t make excuses. Own the offense and say, “I’m sorry.”

Don’t say, “I’m sorry I hurt you.” Name the thing you did that hurt another and ask forgiveness.

Don’t excuse what you did with what they did. Say, “I was wrong.”

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”  Paul Boese

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While writing this, I began thinking that an undo button might not be a good thing. Perhaps, at least in some cases, an apology does more than an undo. What do you think?

What other “U” words for leaders can you offer?