Dream builders

One day long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away; you dreamed of greatness.

Maybe over time you lost your dream.  One too many failures broke the camel’s back.  One too many frustrations, distractions, responsibilities, or limitations put the last nail in your dream’s coffin.

You’ve given up.  You’ve settled.

Why dreams die?

One reason dreams die is the Lone Ranger complex, trying to achieve dreams alone. Dreams rise in the heart of an individual however they find fulfillment in groups. You’ll be a Lone Ranger when you begin. You’ll be a team builder in order to finish.

Dream dreams that require teams.

If your dream centers on you, it’s too narrow. Reach beyond your current resources. When you’re tempted to pull back, don’t narrow the dream expand the team. Effective dreamers always gather followers and build teams.

Great teams form around compelling vision.

Ask, “How will we change the world?”

I just met with a young man who is becoming part of a “dream team.”  I explained where I want to go.  I let him know what’s in it for him.  I laid out the possibilities of giving back to others.  I told him stories that illustrate how the world will change and how we’ll change it.  I’m inviting him to dream with me and dream for himself.  He’s in! We’ll go further together than either of us will go alone. (From Feb. 2010)

Success factors for dreamers.

#1. Believe you matter.

#2a. Articulate your vision in language that invites others to see themselves as participants not observers.

#2b. Talk about what others can do more than what you have done.

#3. Focus on what you are achieving more than how you will achieve it.

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Let’s build a list of key success factors for dream builders.

What kills dreams?

What keeps dreams alive?

How are dreams fulfilled?

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Image source: unknown

This post is a rewrite of , “Don’t narrow the dream expand the team.”

Getting further with feedback

Ken Blanchard said, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

If you aren’t giving and receiving feedback your commitment to improvement and success is shallow at best. You’re stunting yourself and your organization.

Getting Started:

Giving good feedback doesn’t begin with talking. It begins with listening, asking questions, and watching with intention. Don’t assume you’re perceptions are right. Try the “5 Why” method developed by Sakichi Toyoda of Toyota.

Focus:

Intentionally choose to focus on behaviors you want repeated, stopped, or done differently. If you can’t see it, define it, explain it and illustrate it, don’t give feedback. Saying things like you’re lazy or you have a bad attitude will be followed by, “No I’m not,” and, “No I don’t.” You’ve created an adversarial conversation.

Specific:

Give specific examples concerning specific behaviors that have specific outcomes. Saying, “Good job,” is nice but it isn’t good feedback.

5 to 1:

When giving negative feedback avoid extreme language like always, never, all the time, and worst. Keep in mind it takes five positive comments to balance one negative.

Public or Private:

Feel free to give positive feedback in public but remember the down side may be jealousy or resentment from others who feel overlooked. On the other hand, usually give negative feedback in private.

Give negative feedback publicly for public violations, defiance, or intentional public insolence. The rule of thumb is the extent and context of offenses determines the extent and context of your response. Treat others with reciprocity. At the same time, don’t over react.

A note on reciprocity:

Give others the benefit of the doubt until they prove they are malicious. Be gracious; err on the side of generosity. After they cross the line, reflect their orientation back to them. For example, don’t back down from those who are aggressive. If you do, aggressive employees will walk all over you.

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What feedback tips can you add?

Don’t Collaborate?

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Most organizations bow down to the value of collaboration. Today, I’m shooting the sacred cow. Collaboration isn’t always useful or necessary. Furthermore, collaboration can be cumbersome and ineffective.

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Collaboration is useful when you are:

#1. Dealing with complex issues

#2. Leveraging diversity

#3. Inviting others to buy-in

#4. Dealing with strategic issues

#5. Solving long-term challenges or finding long-term solutions

Collaboration isn’t useful when you are:

#1. Under time constraints

#2. Dealing with issues irrelevant to others

#3. Working with those who don’t have good communication or collaboration skills

#4. Experiencing conflict rooted in divergent values

Collaboration and divergent values:

Conflict rooted in divergent values is a deadly roadblock to creating collaborative environments.

For example, when leadership says our organization values team-work while at the same time rewards and honor are focused on individuals, values are colliding. The mouth says one thing while the pocketbook says another. In this situation, some employees are paralyzed while others embrace the inconsistency and win.

If you’re facing conflict because of clashing value-systems the answer is at the top. Collaboration won’t help you, it only makes matters worse. The only thing that helps is the person/s at the top establishing, exemplifying, and expecting everyone to embrace, core organizational values.

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Take your pick – some questions:

What makes collaboration fail?

What makes collaboration succeed?

What are important collaboration skills?

Is collaboration over-valued in the business world?

Ignore things

Typically, leaders see and do. Surprisingly, successful leaders also learn to ignore things. Edward de Bono correctly observes, “An expert is someone who has succeeded in making decisions and judgements simpler through knowing what to pay attention to and what to ignore.”

Six things you should ignore

Ignore occasional failure in others. Let people fail and learn on their own.

Ignore occasional insults. People won’t always understand your passion or vision. They may say things that feel like insults, let it go. In addition, people who say, “I told you so,” aren’t worth your attention.

Ignore your own failures and successes. If past failures discourage more than instruct, forget them. If past successes inspire arrogance, forget them. Sometimes it’s better to forget what is behind in order to move forward.

Ignore stupid counsel. Say thank-you for the input, forget it, and move on. A word of caution, sometimes wise counsel sounds stupid. When people with a proven track record sound stupid, listen again, reconsider, and ask questions. Their counsel may not be stupid.

Ignore persistent critics. Turn away from those who always see the bad and never see the good.

Ignore rules. Innovation is rule breaking. Helen Frankenthaler said, ”Go against the rules or ignore the rules. That is what invention is about.”

Warning: Ignoring things can be dangerous. Jim Evans commented, ”Another way to lose control is to ignore something when you should address it.”

Typically, leaders see and do. However, ignoring things may take you further than acting on them. You may be more effective and more efficient when you turn away and let some things go.

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What should leaders ignore?

How do you decide when to ignore something?

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If you liked “Ignore Things” I think you’ll like “People Pleasers”

People Pleasers

Nonnegotiable’s

Dr. Al Diaz, featured Leadership Freak (LF) contributor, asked where are the Leadership Freak values. Here’s a first attempt at discovering, not creating, core LF Values.

Ten Core Values

Leadership: Individuals make a difference.

Generosity: Leaders giving back to the community.

Exchange: Leaders are enriched by exchanging ideas.

Honesty: Dishonesty undermines influence honesty enhances influence.

Respect: Leaders extend courtesy and respect to others.

Encouragement: Leaders need support.

Growth: Leaders improve.

Courage: Leaders press through resistance

Experience: Leaders learn how to lead through failure and success.

Reading: Leaders expand their potential by bringing the outside in.

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Core values drive the focus, content, conversation, and goals of the Leadership Freak community.

In the broader context, values drive decisions. Values stabilize in an unstable world. Values underpin mission and vision. Values lift individuals and organizations above being driven by personal ease and preference. Without values leaders and organizations are adrift.

Values aren’t negotiable.

I’m not sure if it’s realistic but I’d like to boil Leadership Freak core values down to 3 to 5 core values that drive the LF community.

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What core values underpin your leadership?

What core values are driving the Leadership Freak community?

What top 3 core values drive the Leadership community?

A leadership intention

How do you want others to feel when they are around you?

• Like you are smart or like they are smart?
• Like they have great ideas or like you have great ideas?
• Like they are stars or like you are a star?

One of the best things

One of the best things leaders do is bring out the best in others. Bringing out the best includes instilling confidence by expressing gratitude, showing respect, asking questions, and listening well.

Not long ago, Mike Henry wisely said to me, “It’s amazing how smart others will think you are if you make them feel smart.” I suppose his statement could sound manipulative but I don’t think it was. I think he wants the best from those around him and when he gets it, they think he’s the best.

Are you treating others with defined intention?

Have you decided to make others feel like they are talented, smart, valuable, or…?

One surprising hindrance

Yesterday, during conversations, I noticed again that my passion does something I don’t want it to do. It shuts others down. It makes it difficult for others to disagree. When my volume goes up the participation of others goes down. On the other hand, speaking calmly and briefly, allows others to open up and feel valued.

I think it’s wise to choose how you want to make others feel when they are around you and then to act accordingly.

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How do you want others to feel around you?

What blocks your intention?

What are you doing to achieve your intention?

Survivor: Nicaragua and encouragement

Jimmy Johnson is a retired American football coach. He followed Tom Landry as the coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

Jimmy knows how to encourage others.

My wife and I watched the TV show Survivor: Nicaragua last night and during the show we saw Jimmy Johnson masterfully encourage a discouraged, ready to quit, player. He was incredible.

How Jimmy encouraged a discouraged player?

#1. They went off for a private conversation. The more people involved the more likely they’ll be posturing and deception.

#2. He sat down beside Holly, the defeated player. He got on her level.

#3. Holly began explaining her discouragement. Coach said, “I see it.” He never minimized or under-valued Holly’s statements. He never said, “Oh. It’s not that bad.”

#4. Coach said, “You can make it one day, can’t you?” He’s helping Holly break down the challenge into achievable components. However, Holly surprisingly said, “I can’t.”

#5 Coach never said, “Of course you can make it through one day.” He never argued with Holly’s perceptions. He accepted them completely even when they were off base.

#6. Coach acknowledged people get weak. After their conversation, Jimmy looked into the camera and quoted Vince Lombardi, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

#7. Finally, Johnson said to Holly, “We need you. Your team needs you.” He made Holly feel important.

Encouraged

Holly remained in the game. She looked into the camera and said, “I’m going to help the team out.” Jimmy reached her.

One big lesson

How many times have you argued with a discouraged person attempting to change their perceptions?  Not coach. He found a way to encourage Holly without confronting or challenging her misperceptions.

Don’t challenge a discouraged person, accept them. Covey said, “Seek first to understand then to be understood.”

Acceptance opens the door to influence.

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How do you encourage others?

Six ways to build the right image

Chances are people see you differently than you see yourself.  For example, it’s likely your anger is bigger to others than it is to you. The problem is perception is reality, at least in the mind of the perceiver.

It’s frustrating to be perceived differently from your own self-perceptions.

Successful leaders successfully project the “right” image.

The “right” image is the alignment of organizational values with professional behaviors. For example, if your organization values relationship building, you should be able to describe and exemplify five relationship building skills. (Five is a number pulled out of the hat for illustration purposes)

Leaders can behave their way into a public image that reflects their inner reality.

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Six ways to align the internal you with the external you:

#1. Fully embrace and freely align with organizational values.

#2. Invite, acknowledge and accept the perceptions of others even when they seem wrong. You’ll never learn how to project the right image by verbally correcting another’s perceptions.

#3. Listen to exceptions. It seems there’s always one or two people offended by your humor or overwhelmed by your demeanor. Sometimes the exceptions are expressing what others believe but won’t say.

#4. Invite an outsider to evaluate you. The perceptions of someone that doesn’t have history with you helps with defensiveness.

#5. When someone says you seem sad, angry, worried, stressed and you don’t think you are, ask them to explain what you’re doing that makes you seem that way. Explore your behaviors.

#6. Identify specific behaviors that clearly express to others your personal alignment with organizational values and practice, practice, practice.

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Do you think this “image management” is important?

How can leaders learn how to project the “right” image?

The most powerful question of all

Questions are powerful. Good questions connect and transform. We use questions to gather information, guide conversations, open another’s mind, even open our own mind.

Questions make statements and reveal assumptions. “Were you present when you were sworn in?” is a statement.

They say there are not stupid questions, but I disagree. “Were you gone until you returned?” seems like a stupid question.

Five Great Questions

Sitting on my book shelf is Drucker’s book, “The Five Most Important Questions you will ever ask about your Organization.” His questions are:

#1. What is our mission?

#2. Who is our customer?

#3. What do our customers value?

#4. What are our results?

#5. What is our plan?

I began asking these questions of myself and the organization I lead about two years ago. Sadly, it took me 30 years to get smart enough to know I didn’t know the answers to Drucker’s questions.

One Powerful Question

Leadership Freak is about being concise and to the point. With that in mind, I began asking myself, “If I could ask one question, what would it be?”

I think the most powerful question of all is,
“What’s important to you?”

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Three reasons, “Why?” isn’t the most powerful question of all.

#1. On its own, it’s a little harsh.

#2. “Why?” requires a good statement from the speaker.

#3. “Why?” isn’t an opener.

On the other hand, “What’s important to you?” stands on its own.

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In your opinion, what is the most powerful question of all? Why?

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If you liked this post, you may enjoy:

In Praise of Questions

The Power of Ignorance

Ten Best Questions Ever

The Power of Pattern Recognition

I’m delighted to have John Spence, author of the highly recommended book, “Awesomely Simple,” back on Leadership Freak. His comments on “pattern recognition” helped me. I asked him to share his story on how he began seeing patterns.

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I believe that an essential skill of a great strategic thinker, and for that matter a great leader, is… Pattern Recognition.

Early in my career I became an almost fanatical reader of business books, working through 100 – 120 every year, and soon realized that there was a massive amount of redundancy between most books on any given business topic.

But far from being frustrated by the redundancy, I instead began to see “patterns” of key ideas that all of these incredibly bright authors seemed to be focused on.

For example, a few years ago I read 21 books on “business execution” to prepare for a special client project. After more than 4,500 pages on the same topic it became exceedingly obvious that there was a pattern of just nine specific steps that every one of the authors indicated was necessary to effectively execute a business initiative. Oh, they talked about a lot of other stuff, but it was clear that every single book had in some way indicated that these nine things were critical to creating an organization that could successfully execute on their objectives.

Armed with an understanding of this power pattern, I felt comfortable that I had a good handle on the key things I needed to build into my program in order to help my client improve their execution effectiveness.

It is this same sort of pattern recognition that allows a chess Grand Master to “see down board, “ a star quarterback to “read” the defense, or an experienced surgeon to make life or death decisions in the operating room – they see the pattern. It is also what allows a great strategic leader to “see” patterns in the market place, competition, consumer behavior and within their own business systems.

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Has seeing patterns helped you think and lead better?

How do you see patterns?