The CEO of Deloitte Learns Respect from his Dad

You should respect Jim Quigley, the leader of the world’s largest professional services organization. Jim Quigley told me, however, that leadership is about giving respect.

Jim said, “What I believe about leadership I learned from my dad.”

This story from his youth explains how one night over dinner Jim learned the value of respect.

Dinner at the Quigley household was an active experience as the eight of us gathered. As a youngster I decided one evening I would provide the dinner entertainment. Rex, my father’s foreman, spoke with a very pronounced lisp, and I decided I was going to provide my best imitation of him.

My older sisters snickered, but my father did not even crack a smile. He simply looked at me and said: “Jimmy you do not know or appreciate all that Rex does for the Forest Service and how important he is to me.” The entertainment was over.

I once naively thought Rex’s loyalty was the result of my Dad’s position as the Ranger, but experience and reflection has taught me that he was loyal to my Dad because my Dad provided him with respect.

1. Treat others with respect and you can be an effective member of a team.
2. Treat others with respect and you can be a leader.
3. Treat others with respect and you can sell your company’s products and services.

I have watched some enormously talented partners fall far short of their potential, because they did not learn this simple lesson. Treat others with respect.

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What makes you feel respected?

How do you show respect to others?

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Jim Quigley offers 8 Public Speaking Tips.

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On Amazon

Read my review of Jim’s book, “As One: Individual Action, Collective Power“

Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Seven ways to refill your emotional tank

Monthly cycles, duties you’d like to avoid, unexpected failures, and persistent reoccurring problems drain your emotional energy. Nagging stress like a lead weight pulls you down.

Admittedly, some leaders are more susceptible to emotional ups and downs than others. However, every leader feels the ebb and flow of emotions. Take care or you’ll end up stuck on low. Or, worse yet, you’ll end up distant, disconnected – running on empty.

Running on empty damages you, your organization, and those around you. Eventually you’ll do and say things you’ll regret.

Taking care of you enables you to care for others.

Seven ways to refill your emotional tank

#1. Develop processes and procedures that create higher levels of predictability. For example, create check lists for repeated tasks that free your mind to focus on achievement.

#2. Tell a trusted friend or advisor you’re emotional tank’s running low. You may enjoy presenting the façade of invincibility but eventually it will crush you. Sharing frustrations, disappointments, and stress helps re-fuel your emotional tank.

#3. Leverage rituals. I eat lunch nearly every day with my wife. It’s a point of energizing sameness.

#4. Get some rest.

#5. Do the dirty deeds you’ve been putting off. Procrastination drains you. The dread of doing hated tasks is more draining than actually doing them.

#6. Watch your diet. I find eating fewer carbohydrates and more protein helps level the emotional playing field.

#7. Give yourself something to look forward to; a walk, reading a book…

It’s dangerous to constantly give-out and not take-in. Do a quick inventory. Are you restoring your emotional well-being? If you aren’t, your emotional tank will run dry and you may get stuck on empty.

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What refuels your emotional tank?

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You’ll Never Reach Excellence

The first two articles I wrote after reading, “On Writing Well,” by William Zinsseer did not do well.

I define “doing well” as the number of views along with the number of motivated readers that let others know about my articles through twitter, Facebook, and email.

The two articles: “A What without a How” and “Letting People See Your Frailties“

The first step toward excellence, surprisingly, goes down not up. Why? Because you’re stepping where haven’t stepped before. Proficiency takes time and practice.

Prepare yourself; you won’t reach excellence. There’s always more, if there isn’t your aim is too low.

The place for average

Be average at things that don’t matter to you. Brushing your teeth, stacking groceries in the cupboard, car care… Reach for excellence when reaching matters.

10 strategies for reaching high

1. Lift yourself by lifting others.
2. Remember lessons forget failures.
3. Remain focused on the big picture when your emotions let you down and they will let you down.
4. Get close to those who are great at things you want to be great at.
5. Compare your progress with your vision not with mediocrity. It’s arrogant, self-gratifying, and de-motivating to think you’re doing well compared to those who aren’t.
6. Think progress. Take one step toward excellence.
7. Stay strong at the end. The closer the deadline the stronger the temptations to lower your reach.
8. Celebrate successes they’re fuel for your fire.
9. Stay away from negative people.
10. Don’t feel you need #10 if nine is enough.

You’ll never reach excellence but you can pursue it.

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How do you pursue excellence?

What’s the best suggestion you have for those pursuing excellence?

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Public Speaking Tips from the CEO of Deloitte

James Quigley is global CEO of Deloitte, the largest private professional services firm on earth. Jim generously gave me 45 minutes on the phone.

I asked Jim to share a personal weakness that had become a strength. He spoke about public speaking. He called himself a bit of an introvert. I didn’t, however, take his comment in the traditional “shy and withdrawn” sense.

I understood his comment in the context of  the opportunities and challenges the public platform provides leaders to shape, direct, and motivate large organizations. Leading from the front is a powerful way to reach 175,000 employees.

Jim said, “People want to be led. They want leaders that have vision and passion. I’ve learned to leverage the opportunities the stage provides and do my best to ‘deliver the message’.”

Jim Quigley’s 8 public speaking tips

1. Know your audience.  Do your homework—understand the audience’s perspective, and think ahead about what that means to you, as the speaker.
2. Engage your listeners—make eye contact, and work the room to connect.
3. Wherever possible and appropriate, take and follow their cues—watch the body language.
4. Be flexible and be prepared to change the flow of your remarks, length of presentation, and focus based on changing circumstances.
5. Own the material, even if team members helped you prepare.  To connect with the audience, the content must be yours.
6. Be passionate about your topic – it is critical to not only know your topic but to also be passionate about it if you are to capture the attention of your audience.
7. Be yourself – authentic speakers connect.
8. Be careful with humor, risk usually exceeds the reward.

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What do you find challenging about public speaking?

What tips public speaking tips can you offer?

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On Amazon

Read my review of Jim’s book, “As One: Individual Action, Collective Power“

Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

9 Questions that Create Connections

She was reading at two, a University of California sophomore at 17, and speaks eight languages. Pam Fox Rollin didn’t sound arrogant but I wondered if in her younger days she was – so I asked.  She said, “Not arrogant, pompous.”

Pompous sounds like arrogant only worse; Pam agreed. Four short words helped me understand one expression of her past youthful pomp, “I used long words.”

Losing a friend

Humility transforms pain points
into growth points.

Pam lost a friend during her UC Davis days. Debbie told Pam to put people more highly on her list than ideas. With that it was over. Pam didn’t arrogantly blame her friend; she humbly looked at herself.

Success may hinge on stopping something

Pam said she learned that using long words was getting in the way of connecting with others. “I simplified my language.”

The things that make you exceptional hinder your success if they block connections.

Rule 16: Get Over Yourself

Pam’s written, “42 Rules for your new Leadership Role.”

“Your team members will give you the goods only to the degree they trust you to act in their best interests. Find out who they are and what they want.”

9 Questions that Create Connections

1. What are you working on?
2. What do you enjoy the most and least about your job?
3. What is going well on this team? What is going less well?
4. How could this group be even more successful?
5. What do you do well? What do you want to do more of?
6. What do you do less well? What do you want to do less of?
7. What helps you be most productive?
8. Where do you want to be professionally in five to ten years?
9. What do you think you need to do to get there?

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Read Pam’s thoughts on building tomorrow’s success today: “Five Proven Steps to Tomorrow’s Win.”

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How do you get over yourself in ways that help you connect with others?

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Letting people see our Frailties

People that know me best compliment me least and people that know me least compliment me most.

Some compliments aren’t sincere. They’re flattery. A compliment is flattery when it’s designed to manipulate us. Flattery puffs us up so others can bring us down and elevate themselves.

It’s strange thinking that my long-term friends might complement me as profusely as new acquaintances. Long-termers know my unattractive side. They’ve seen me lose my temper or forget to follow through. It’s easy to compliment someone we don’t know when their warts and weaknesses haven’t emerged.

Putting our best foot forward is probably a good thing. It gives us a chance to create bonds before we push each other away. But persistently putting our best foot forward hinders vibrant life-sustaining connections.

Letting others see our frailties:

Some people dare us to like them by spot-lighting their weaknesses. Don’t dare people to like you. Don’t ask them to prove your worth before they know you. Give them a chance; give yourself a chance.

I believe our frailties and failures make us. Share weaknesses that are becoming strengths. On the other hand, frailties that currently defeat us are best shared with people that know and love us.

Share the process of growth that began with inability and ends with ability. We encourage others when we don’t wallow but emerge.

If you don’t share your frailties, you end up empty and even more frail and so do those around you.

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How and when do you share your frailties and failures?

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Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

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Image source

A What Without a How

A “what” without a “how” is like a car without gas.

My “what” statement:

What I’m doing in life is adding value to others in ways consistent with who I am and that energize me. Sounds great but it’s comfortably ambiguous.

Asking how:

“What” is not enough.

Asking how I can add value moves me from pie in the sky to rubber hits the road. That’s what I did while driving home yesterday. “What” determines destination. “How” explains action.

The first “how”:

Five “hows” that give feet to my “what”.

1. Encourage, nurture, support, and believe in my wife.
2. Help others know themselves by listening for their values and creating or exploring meaningful opportunities that express their values.
3. Help others to say the hard things about their performance.
4. Because I’m a talker, I’ll talk less and listen more.
5. Find people with passion and help them enhance their value.

The second “how”:

The first how helps but doesn’t go far enough. For example, how will I encourage my wife? Or, how will I focus on people with passion?

I’ll encourage my wife by cleaning the kitchen. That’s no impotent mirage that makes me feel like I’ve done something when I haven’t.

How will I find people with passion? I’ll gravitate toward frustrated people and see if I can fuel their fire.

Take action:

Leaders always focus on “what” first. But without two “how” questions you’ll stagnate.

You may be wondering, what about “why”? That’s a good question for another day. Today is “how” day.

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“How” can you add value today?

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Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Let’s get this party started

10 Things you can do to make Monday great

1. Make your opportunities; waiting won’t work. You’re the source of your own frustration when you wait rather than work. You’ll find greater satisfaction in life by uncovering ways to earn your “break” rather than waiting for someone to give it to you.
2. Dream less, do more, and serve generously. Ask, what am I doing to achieve my dream more than what is my dream.
3. Stop being a know-it-all; start asking questions. Stop imagining why “it” won’t work and start imagining why it will.
4. Go with the best option.
5. Forget short-cuts. Sometimes they happen; usually they don’t.
6. Good enough is good enough on low impact items. Stop wasting your time perfecting everything.
7. You’ll meet next week’s deadline if you do a little today.
8. Don’t wait to be told.
9. Rest only when you’re tired.
10. Finish something today.

Bonus: Bring joy to someone. The CEO, a director, or your manager are great options.

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What “week-starting” tips can you add?

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Here’s something you can do to get started:

Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free.  It’s private.  Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Getting the most from twitter

(If you have trouble reading the text in the graphics, holding down the ctrl key and pressing the “+” key should enlarge the font. Hold down ctrl and press “-” to shrink the text)

I’m still learning what twitter is all about. I’ve been using it for about 13 months.

Even though it’s all an experiment, it’s not unusual for twitter to identify my tweets as Top Tweets. This Sunday afternoon, I held all three Top Tweets in the leadership category. Much of that ranking is contingent on who is online using the #leadership hashtag.

Steve NeSmith, Senior Director of Online Content, Social Media and Email Marketing for the Dave Ramsey organization, suggested I survey my twitter tribe to see their thoughts on how I’m doing.

I’ve been experimenting with tweet frequency and content. I’ve tweeted as much as three or four times an hour. On the other end I’ve tweeted just a few times a day.

I’ve read you should tweet 12x times for others before tweeting your own content. I rejected that artificial suggestion. Most of my tweets are quotes and links with few reflecting conversations. I typically direct message (DM) personal conversations. In addition, Most of the links I tweet are to my own work.

I followed Steve’s suggestion and created a three question survey on surveymonkey.com. The free version only tracks the first 100 results.

The 21 comments included suggestions from one time per day to, “As much as you like.”

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The frequency of tweets with links to tweets without links isn’t much of a factor. Most of my tweets with links have a quotable sentences attached.

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In my opinion, the third question wasn’t worded well. I intended it to reflect the use of twitter primarily as a leadership resource and not as a personal relationship tool. I don’t think the survey results answer that question.

These results are offered for the good of the twitter users in the Leadership Freak community. Feel free to add your input.

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My conversation with Steve NeSmith: Are you becoming Irrelevant?

Maybe you are the problem …

Once upon a time, a bushy gray-bearded man shuffled toward farmer’s market.  Sadly, the spring air felt right but it smelled wrong. Pausing, he shrugged and then trudged forward.

Happening upon a purple lilac in full bloom… “This sweet lilac will overcome this painful stink.”  It reeked! The deeper he inhaled the more disgusting it smelled.  Dejected, he continued his task.

A whistling stranger passed the confused gray-beard.  “How anyone can whistle in this sour air is beyond me?”  Further along, a fellow townsman waved, “Good day.” Frustrated he growled, “Don’t you smell that!”  The townsman joyfully called back, “Yes, isn’t the spring air lovely!”

“Humph!”

Produce in hand, the frustrated, confused, dreary, gray-beard turned homeward.  Dejected, he thought, “The whole world stinks.”

Dusk filled his sour home.  Discouraged, the bushy gray-beard prepared for bed, hoping for escape in his sleep.

Splashing water in his face, rancid bits of cottage cheese fell from under his mustache.  They’d clung there since breakfast.

Straightening himself, inhaling deeply, spring arrived.

He laughed, “I guess I was the source of my own sour.”

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If you are the problem, you are the solution.

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This post is a revision of a previous post.