Bob Burg on Becoming a Person of Value

I asked Bob Burg if he felt like a success; it’s a slippery topic that requires definition so we slipped back into how he defined it.

At first Bob talked goals. “On the most basic level, success could be achieving a tangible goal, but of course it goes much deeper than that.”

Then Bob quoted, Earl Nightingale, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Trajectory rather than arrival makes this definition more satisfying. Progress, also makes this definition slippery. We continued talking about success and ultimately landed on a definition Bob fully embraces.

Click here for two free chapters from Bob's new book.

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming,” John Wooden. Bob spoke of success as living up to potential. This definition is the slipperiest of all. So I asked Bob, “How are you doing with your potential?” He brought up Einstein.

“Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.” Bob said he didn’t think Einstein actually said the quote because it identifies success with only money.

Bob explained, “Reaching my potential is becoming a person of value.” So I asked, “How are you becoming a person of value?”

He talked to me about encouragement. His dad encouraged people; that’s what Bob wants to do. The obvious question, “How can we encourage?”

Burg’s six ways to encourage others:

1. Envision their potential.
2. Help them define and reach their goals.
3. Communicate you believe in them, with an emphasis on communicating. It’s not enough to feel a thing, you must communicate it.
4. Positive expectations without attachment.
5. Highlight the good. Bob said, “My dad knew how to make others feel good about themselves.”
6. Correct in ways that don’t create defensiveness. Correct with appreciation.

How do you define success?

What are you doing to achieve success according to your own definition?

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Part one of my conversation with Bob: “Bob Burg on Life and Leadership“

Part two of my conversation with Bob: “Finding Freedom While Developing Leaders“

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Finding Freedom While Developing Leaders

This is the second post based on my conversation with Bob Burg, author of: “It’s Not About You.”

Leaders see in others what they don’t see in themselves; that can be frustrating. It’s frustrating to see potential in someone who doesn’t care as much as you. If you aren’t careful, it’s also arrogant because you don’t know all; you don’t see all.

“Leaders meet people where they are.” Bob explained that patience is about accepting people.

The allure of where you believe people could go – not where they are currently – interests you. Time is limited and you want to invest it, not squander it.

Don’t project.

Stop projecting and embrace humility. The potential you see in them may be a projection of your wishes for yourself.

You look at young leaders and see yourself. You see the mistakes you made and want to “save them;” to make them into a better you. Humility, on the other hand, says I’m not making you into a better me. You are reaching your potential, not mine.

Don’t attach.

Bob said you can avoid frustration if you avoid, “attachment.” I know attachment is an important word in Buddhist philosophy. I didn’t ask Bob if he was Buddhist. I interpreted the word attachment as too much ownership, too much responsibility.

Two Free Chapters

Attachment is tying your identity or success to another individual. It’s a formula for disappointment and disaster.

Celebrate them.

Rather than attaching, celebrate their potential not yours in them. It’s not about you.

Let them say no.

When I reach out to someone with potential, I watch for their response. Do they brighten up or sit back? Do they express interest? Do they respect me and their own opportunities? If yes, we move forward. If no, I continue encouraging them while backing off.

Part one of my conversation with Bob: “Bob Burg on Life and Leadership“

Part three of my conversation with Bob: “Bob Burg on Becoming a Person of Value“

Have you tried to develop someone who didn’t want to be developed? What did you learn?

How do you initiate a leadership development relationship with someone who has untapped potential?

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Bob Burg on Life and Leadership

Yesterday Bob Burg took my call and we chatted for nearly an hour. I don’t waste much time on calls so after he shared a bit of his story, I asked him if he thought of himself as a leader. I loved his answer. It set us on a conversation spanning leadership, encouragement, defining success, and his new book, “It’s Not About You.” (Two free chapters)

Yes I’m a Leader:

I love hearing people say, “Yes, I’m a leader,” that’s what Bob said. Owning your leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about direction. It’s like asking a woman if she’s a mom; saying yes is more about identity than performance.

The Shift:

Bob said he started studying leadership about ten years ago. He started feeling like a leader about five years ago. All leaders have always made the shift from follower to leader so I asked him to describe his shift.

Bob explained, “I shifted from being a producer to being a leader.” Leaders still produce but they move from individual contributors to influencing others. “Not all influencers are leaders but all leaders are influencers.” During his sales career Bob was an influencer but not necessarily a leader. Why?

The heart of Leadership:

Leadership isn’t about you – it’s about others. It isn’t defined as individual success as a sales person who reaches for his own potential. It’s about helping others see and reach for their potential.

Surprise:

Then Bob surprised me, “I’ve always been a nice person but I haven’t always been empathetic, patient.” Surprises interest me. Bob explained that leaders, “Meet people where they are.”  I knew what he was getting at.

You see in people what they don’t see in themselves. It can be frustrating when they don’t see it too.

Part two of my conversation with Bob: “Finding Freedom While Developing Leaders.”

Part three of my conversation with Bob: “Bob Burg on Becoming a Person of Value“

What has the leadership-shift looked like for you?

One bad apple DOES spoil the whole barrel

Image source

Team-work is often slower and always more complex than individual-work; it requires more interaction and greater skill.

Five stages:

Teams go through five stages: forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning. Typically, they are not distinct stages; forming and storming overlap. Additionally, storming, norming, and performing may occur simultaneously.

Before forming:

The success of teams is determined before they are formed, when team-members are selected – who is on the team matters more than what the team does. Random team-members never deliver exceptional results.

Diversity represents the strength, complexity, and difficulty of team-work. If diversity isn’t useful, don’t form teams.

10 Teamwork attributes and skills:

1. Self-awareness. You must know what you think and how you are perceived.
2. Communication. Beyond knowing what you think, you must effectively express it.
3. Self-confidence.
4. Respect.
5. Listening.
6. Conflict resolution.
7. Trust building.
8. Initiative.
9. Responsibility.
10. Technical insight.

Danger:

Negatives don’t produce positive outcomes; they frustrate and constrain.

One “wrong” person destroys team-effectiveness. One dominant person can destroy team-work by silencing diversity. One withdrawn, disagreeable person is a bottleneck to efficiency; everyone dances around them. One irresponsible person blocks progress by arriving at meetings unprepared.

Say it:

Effective teams consist of individuals who openly share their perspective. Your genius seems simple to you, perhaps obvious, but to others its brilliance.

Ask it:

The fear of looking dumb makes teams dumb. Ineffective team-members ask privately in the hall. When questions aren’t asked publicly, real team-meetings often happen after the meeting between the power-members.

Have you seen great teams working? What made them work?

Have you seen teams crash and burn? What happened?

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The “Sweet 16″ of Positive Work Environments

If people start worrying when you show up, you’re a downer. If people love to see you leave, you’re a loser. If your team hates receiving calls from you, you’re a lousy leader. People in positive work environments love to see the boss coming. They love seeing you because they’ll go further with you than without you.

16 Ways to build positive work environments:

1. Develop people.
2. Know what they do best and leverage it.
3. Clearly define expectations.
4. Trust them to act.
5. Support them when they fail.
6. Always give credit and take blame. No one likes seeing a blamer.
7. Believe in them – you’re on their team.
8. See opportunities more than problems.
9. Help find solutions.
10. Keep out of the way.
11. Encourage, enable, and inspire.
12. Protect from bureaucracy.
13. Value them as individuals.
14. Don’t talk about yourself, too much. Let people know you, however.
15. Don’t talk on and on ….
16. Make people feel listened to by asking more than stating.

Bonus: Give others what you wish others would give you.

Just before posting I thought of another one; explain the why of work. I’m sticking with the title “Sweet 16″ even though the list grew to 18. The “Sweet 18″ just doesn’t seem to work.

How are you building a positive work environment?

Which of these ideas do you find most important?

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Who is your organization becoming

Image source

Great vision ends in being not doing; it surpasses activities. Great vision answers the questions who do we want to become.

What you want to do is important; who you want to become essential.

Products and sums:

Organizations have identity in the present and trajectory toward the future that goes beyond products and tasks. Organizations are the sum of individual behaviors, attitudes, and intentions. Products are expressions of organizational being.

Families, teams, divisions, entire organizations create who they are with the sum of their individual beliefs, behaviors, interactions, and achievements.

Organizations and products:

Products are expressions of organizational being. Great leaders build organizations.

Great leaders impact interactions, intentions, and beliefs. Most importantly, leaders help individuals believe powerful truths like agency, gratitude, improvement, initiative, and service.

Vision finds expression in doing – positive impact – making a difference.  More importantly, great vision takes people within organizations on a journey toward a new way of being.

Values:

When you ask who we want to be, values become guiding principles. Values are best understood in the behaviors that support an organization on its path to being.

Conclusion:

These ideas impact hiring, firing, interventions, training, rewards – the way we produce products. In addition, they impact the way we think and feel about ourselves on the journey. In the end they define success.

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How to Bring Caution and Courage Together

Let caution inform action not prevent it.

Act in alignment with your highest point of confidence not your lowest point of caution. Keep caution in the backseat and boldness in the front.

When caution is the end there is no beginning. When caution is fear of failure it’s self-preservation; its selfishness disguised as noble intelligence.

Paralyzing-caution is lack of confidence that says you can’t do it now and you aren’t able to find a way.

The negative impact of caution:

1. Inaction.
2. Indecision.
3. Procrastination and hesitation.
4. Mediocrity.

Making caution work:

Lead courageously not cautiously.

Cautious preparation enables bold execution. Caution fully explores problems. Caution asks what’s wrong; what won’t work. Courage, on the other hand, finds solutions.

Answer caution in small teams and express boldness in large groups. Be cautious before decisions and bold after. Cautious beginnings are weak beginnings that never inspire.

The good side of caution is preparation:

1. Seeing problems.
2. Exploring options.
3. Healthy sobriety.
4. Getting help.
5. Acting wisely.

The truth is a person without caution is dangerous. Caution is a healthy part of the process. Use caution to rule out things you can’t do so you can courageously identify, explore, and act on things you can do.

Caution on its own is self-affirming stagnation. Caution anticipates failure, if you aren’t careful; it prevents you from doing things that matter.

Purpose and meaning are more important than caution. Caution needs the courage to do something where failure matters. Deliberate with caution act with courage.

Do you lean toward caution or courage?

How do you handle the tension between caution and courage?

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Four Ways to Create Unflinching Boldness

Timid people achieve less than bold people.

Boldness builds the future. Fear stalls progress and congeals the past. Fear is survival mode. Boldness is opportunity mode.

4 Ways to Build Boldness:

1. Prepare people for future challenges with training.
2. Provide mentors.
3. Celebrate mistakes caused by boldness.
4. Most importantly fill people with hope.

Don’t press timid people to be bold – Give them hope and they will be bold.

Boldness follows hope. Hope is facing the future believing you’ll win. Napoleon Bonaparte said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.” Timid people don’t believe they can win.

People who believe they can win keep working to win.

10 Ways to Build Hope:

1. Believe in them more than they believe in themselves.
2. Do things that matter. Never complete bland tasks; always achieve meaningful vision.
3. Remember past successes. “Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent,” Mignon McLaughlin.
4. Smile.
5. Pat people on the back.
6. Celebrate small wins, every day. Small wins create big wins.
7. Celebrate effort; it keeps people moving forward.
8. Praise frequently; correct occasionally.
9. Focus on strengths more than weaknesses.
10. Help people rest and renew.

Leaders who give others hope have bold teams.

How do you instill hope in the hearts of others?

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To Accept Limits or Not – That is the Question

There are limits; it’s dangerous to believe otherwise.

Benefit:

Accepting limits enables peak performance. For example, cars are designed for peak efficiency while running within a limited rpm range.

Dangers:

Surpassing limits lowers performance. The more frequently you exceed limits the sooner you fail. The further from boundaries the more devastating the failure – think of holding the gas pedal to the floor and over-revving an engine until it fails.

5 Limits:

1. Physical limits. Junrey Balawingm, the shortest man alive – 23.6 inches (60 cm) – will never be a professional basketball player.
2. Emotional limits.
3. Intellectual limits. Yes Johnny, some people are smarter than you.
4. Skill and ability limits.
5. Aptitude limits.

Pressing through limits:

On the other hand, many limits should be rejected. Reject self-imposed limits by embracing or creating discomfort.

Limits and comfort are separate things. If you feel comfortable you’re functioning well below your limits. It’s time to push.

Breaking through requires:

1. Discipline – pressure from within.
2. New challenges – pressure from without.
3. Development – education and training.
4. Crisis – unexpected, unmanageable circumstances.
5. A believer – someone who knows you have more in you than you think.

Bonus: The belief that you have more to give.

In a word, breakthroughs require discomfort coupled with belief. Excellence is never easy.

The next level:

Leaders make others uncomfortable so others can exceed self-imposed limitation.

The context of making others uncomfortable is encouragement – believing in them. In other words, successful leaders prod and poke with one hand while comforting and encouraging with the other.

Combine new challenges with support. Remember however, don’t support too much; less is more. The less support you give the stronger they become. You’re developing leaders not needy co-dependents.

Warning, less support means more frustration. Frustration is good until it becomes distracting. Support isn’t removing discomfort; it’s enabling through it.

Have you accepted the reality of limits?

How do you press through self-imposed limits? 

How do you help others press through limits?

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How Pain Shows the Way

The pursuit of excellence turns ugly when it makes you negative and critical.

There’s a thin line between reaching high and negativity. Furthermore, turning the critical light inward is dangerous. During a recent seminar a leader asked, “What do you do when you remember all the things you’ve done wrong and forget the good.”

I relate to his frustrations. Perhaps you do as well.

Sincerity, in addition, has a dark side. Sincerity turns ugly when it turns to guilt. You hunger to make a difference and fall short. The darkness emerges when blame rises up.

Beating ourselves up wastes brain power, drains passion, and slows growth.

Facing the dark side of sincerity and pursing excellence:

You aren’t the only one that falls prey to a ravenous inner critic. Others feel the bite as well.

Lead through your pain. Embrace the dark and ask, “What lifts and energizes me when the inner demons beat me down?” Is it an encouraging word from another, a short walk to refocus, prayer, reading, or thinking of past successes?

Lead through your pain by giving what you need to others. Step into someone’s office and tell them what you need to hear. Give them something that soothes you. Send a text that you’d love to receive.

I don’t have an answer that permanently defeats your inner critic. Just a strategy you can use every day. Pain shows the way when you give to others what you need yourself. Perhaps, as time passes, your inner demons will realize they aren’t defeating you and they’ll give up.

Your dark side may serve you well.

How can leaders use their own pain to lift and motivate others?

How might your personal demons be showing you the way toward higher success?

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