Please Help Me Connect with My CEO

Conform! If you don’t fit in you’re a dangerous lose cannon. Fit in before standing out.

Conformity opens the door for your creativity.

Hotshots:

John Spence told me he’s seen hotshots arrive on the scene with MBAs from top universities. John said, “That piece of paper doesn’t mean sh**.”

Shut up:

Speaking too soon destroys opportunity.

Unbridled enthusiasm for your talent, education, and ideas is a problem I see all the time.

Humble yourself and engage in projects you feel are “below” you. I never trust new people who don’t appreciate the value of current opportunities. They’ll bail out when they don’t get their way.

Earn your place by fitting in.

Grab an oar:

From a leadership point of view, I won’t commit to you until I believe you’re committed to my organization, period. Prove your commitment by grabbing an oar and rowing in synch.

Have you ever asked a hotshot to do something they felt was below them? Did they seem reluctant because it’s wasn’t a big enough opportunity? Somehow it’s ok for you to do it but it’s below them. How stupid is that?

You can’t earn opportunities by rejecting opportunities.

Align:

Perhaps the terms alignment and channeling feel better than conformity to hotshots and firecrackers. Align your talents and channel your creativity. Think of your organization as a river. Don’t divert it; jump in. Increase the established flow.

“What you believe to be important isn’t as important as what the CEO thinks is important.” Mike Myatt

Alignment (conformity) builds opportunity.

Myatt continues, “You don’t want to be perceived as working outside the system, or against the system. Rather you want to use the system to your advantage.”

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More tomorrow and thanks to (Listed in order of their interview):

Doug Conant
John Bell
Steve Farber
John Spence
Mike Myatt
Facebook contributors
John Bernard

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How do you see the tension between fitting in and standing out?

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How to Connect with the C-Suite

CEOs and others in the C-Suite make or break careers. This article begins a short series designed to help you connect with C-Level leaders.

Danger:

The further away from the C-Suite you are the further away you should stay.

The first thing Doug Conant, former CEO of Campbell’s Soup, said when I asked for his insight was, “This is dangerous territory.” He listed three potential dangers of trying too hard to connect with the C-Suite.

1. Playing people. Manipulating relationships ends relationships, quickly.
2. Alienating peers. They’ll wonder if you’re using them.
3. Distrustful subordinates who question your motives. Doug didn’t say you’ll be viewed as a brownnoser but I will.

Culture:

Doug and everyone else I interviewed said, “Understand the corporate culture.” John Bell, former CEO of Jacobs Suchard (Kraft, Nabob), put it this way, “It depends on the leader.”

For example, Conant wrote thousands of handwritten notes to Campbell’s employees. If I worked for Doug, I’d write notes to him and other employees.

Most C-Suite leaders are closed. Author and consultant, John Spence said, “CEOs already have personal relationships. Familiarity is not good. Keep a respectful distance Know your place.” I’m not sure what percentage of CEOs are closed. Does 98% sound about right? It’s usually a matter of necessity.

Rare Exceptions:

John Bell reminded me of the exceptional cofounder of Costco, Jim Sinegal. Jim sits in an office without walls and wants to know people’s names; they print them on everyone’s shirts. He also visited all Costco stores every year (580 in 2011).

More tomorrow and thanks to (Listed in order of their interview):

Doug Conant
John Bell
Steve Farber
John Spence
Mike Myatt
Facebook contributors

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What’s dangerous about trying to connect with C-level leaders?

Tips for connecting?

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Help! My Boss is an Insecure Jerk

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If you haven’t worked for an insecure jerk, you will. Insecure jerks corrupt corporate culture and hamstring employees. They think first of personal agendas, divert focus, and instigate drama.

Change:

Don’t expect insecure jerks to change. Don’t attempt to change them. Accept and deal with them.

Threaten:

The worst thing you can do is threaten an insecure jerk; never do it. They’ll bite you like a caged animal. They are experts at backstabbing, undercutting, bullying, and belittling.

1. Don’t get sucked into their fears.
2. Focus on your work.
3. Don’t publicly outperform them.
4. Publicly and honestly honor their contributions.
5. Understand and address their fears but don’t condescend.
6. Be loyal to their position.
7. Don’t go over their head unless ethical issues emerge.
8. Find encouragement and support from people outside your organization. Keep this in strict confidence.

Information:

All bosses require information but insecure jerks need it. They need to know because fear and speculation dominates their mind.

1. Clarify their information needs.
2. Learn how to give them what they need. Do they prefer email, phone, or face to face?
3. Define frequency of contact.
4. Over communicate – a good practice in many situations.

Sabotage:

If you outperform an insecure jerk they’ll make life harder for you. They’ll nitpick and pile on until frustration demoralizes you. The brighter you shine the darker they’ll make it. (Never threaten them)

Performance:

Insecurities drive performance for some insecure bosses. They work hard to fill their insecurities. Tap into their need to deliver results while avoiding their fears.

Move:

Move up, move sideways, or move out but don’t plan on staying. Chances are you’ll stay too long. Contributors on my Facebook page consistently affirm this difficult point.

Reality:

Everyone deals with insecurities. But, everyone doesn’t need to be a jerk.

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What characteristics do insecure jerk-bosses display?

What suggestions can you offer people dealing with an insecure boss who is a jerk?

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Related Post: “15 Tips for Overcoming Insecurity.” Number 14 = Give others what you wish they’d give you.

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Learning from Joe Paterno’s Leadership Failure

Image source: John McDonnell / Washington Post

Coach Joe Paterno was laid to rest this week. He’s clearly loved. 10,000 tickets were reserved for his memorial service in seven minutes. His accomplishments on behalf of Penn State, college football, and his football players are indisputable.

Two failures:

Paterno’s failures are delay and lack of follow through.

His own words:

Joe Paterno should have done more when Mike McQueary told him of a sexual encounter between Jerry Sandusky and a young boy in a Penn State locker room. He said so himself.

“In hindsight, I wish that I had done more.” Joe Paterno

I wish:

I wish Joe had let his simple heartfelt statement stand. But he didn’t. In an interview with the Washington Post …

Joe later added:

“I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was. So I backed away and turned it over to some other people, people I thought would have a little more expertise than I did. It didn’t work out that way.”

Joe went on to say:

“So I sat around. It was a Saturday. Waited till Sunday because I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing. And then I called my superiors… I had never had to deal with something like that. And I didn’t feel adequate.”

Leadership lessons:

1. Leaders get in over their heads. Expect it.
2. Say what you know even if you don’t know what to do.
3. Say what you know privately. Avoid hysteria and grandstanding.
4. Follow through, privately.
5. Follow through persistently.
6. Leaders take responsibility without excuses.

I believe Joe when he says, “I was afraid,” and “I didn’t feel adequate.” But, I don’t need to hear it.

“I wish I had done more,” is enough. Joe said more when he said less.

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It’s easy to second guess leaders, especially high profile leaders. How should leaders handle their public failures?

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Connected post: “College Sex Scandals, Candor, and Leadership” –When the boss doesn’t want to hear it the people won’t say it.

More on mistakes: “Creating a Mistake-making Policy” — Perfect people can’t be trusted.

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Subscribe to Leadership Freak today. It’s free, practical, and brief. The subscribe button is in the upper right of the home page. I’ll never sell your email address, promise.

15 Tips for Overcoming Insecurity

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Living with others in mind is healthy, noble, and useful except when insecurity drives you.

Insecure leaders:

1. Defend when they should explore.
2. Take things personally.
3. Blame higher ups for tough decisions.
4. Don’t trust others because they don’t trust themselves.
5. Can’t say no.
6. Threaten, intimidate, and coerce.
7.  Shut down input from others because feedback is frightening.
8. Micromanage.
9. Won’t delegate.
10. Yell.
11. Backstab.
12. Create teams of yes-men.
13. Illustrate their competence and successes too frequently.
14. Hoard knowledge.
15. Delay decisions and then flip flop after.
16. Seem snobbish.
17. Crave positional authority and respect.
18. Nitpick and belittle.
19. Share blame and take credit.
20. Name drop.

Bonus: Think others are out to get them.

Thanks to contributors on my Facebook page for helping me develop this list. Your insights rock.

15 tips for overcoming insecurity:

1. Realize success won’t help. Let it go.
2. Develop trusted confidants and tell them your insecurities.
3. Compare yourself with yourself, not others.
4. Act with optimism.
5. Engage in self-reflection every day.
6. Keep a journal.
7. Believe you have purpose and place. You belong in this world.
8. Let your humanity out.
9. Pray.
10. Read biographies.
11. Let opportunity rather than fear motivate.
12. Say out loud, “This is a tough decision.”
13. Act and speak with gentle confidence.
14. Give others what you wish they’d give you.
15. Center debate and decision making on issues not people.

Insecurity viciously and relentlessly pushes people around.

I wish there was a magic pill. Growing through insecurity is slow and perilous but it enhances life and leadership.

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We’ve all seen insecure leaders who hobble their own success. What symptoms and cures for insecurity can you add?

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Creating a Mistake-making Policy

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Integrity isn’t perfection, its better.

During a hospital stay a nurse turned off and neglected to turn on my pneumatic leg pumps. (Devices designed to help prevent blood clots in the legs of trauma patients. Hospital staff called them SCUDS)

She removed them about 3 a.m. so I could get up. When I returned, she put them back on but didn’t hit the switch. We were talking; neither of us notices. She left; I fell asleep.

About 6 a.m. another nurse came in to check on me. I was awake when she noticed the SCUDS. She hit the switch and left.

An apology:

About 6:30 a.m. a forgetful nurse came to my bed and said, “I messed up when I forgot to turn on your SCUDS. I’m sorry.”

Perfection:

It’s sad when people ignore or cover their mistakes. “Perfect” people can’t be trusted.

On my team:

My forgetful nurse was qualified and experienced. I was never in peril. My activity level made the SCUDS precautionary.

If I ever need a nurse and I hope I don’t, I’ll ask for the forgetful one. 

Dumb leaders:

Dumb leaders sacrifice mistake-makers. Creating sacrificial lambs:

1. Invites disloyalty and dishonesty.
2. Stalls risk taking.
3. Stagnates ideation.
4. Honors ignorance.

Smart leaders:

Smart leaders maximize mistakes and honor integrity.

Stop hiding mistakes; publicize them – especially your own. Uncovering the dirty secret of mistake-making creates rich invigorating environments where:

1. Backstabbers and liars run.
2. Employees trust each other.
3. Customers trust you.
4. What ifs are possible.
5. Freedom empowers.

Wasting mistakes makes mistakes worse. If you can’t make a good mistake, you can’t be trusted.

Great organizations figure out how to be wrong in the right way.

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What does a useful mistake-making policy look like?

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More on mistakes: I asked Jack Welch about a tipping point in his life and he told me about blowing up a factory. “How Blowing up a Factory Changed Jack Welch“

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Subscribe to Leadership Freak today. It’s free, practical, and brief. The subscribe button is in the upper right of the home page. I’ll never sell your email address, promise.

Useful Leadership Quotes? – You Decide

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Today’s world appreciates brevity.

Useful leadership quotes inspire, distill, or direct, quickly.

Will you bring your perspective and insights to this set of leadership quotes? Grab one or more and expand, correct, or modify it?

17 leadership quotes for you to play with:

1. Great leaders don’t change people. They create environments where people can change themselves.
2. You matter most when you make others matter. From: How to Start Right and End Well
3. Great leadership includes leading people to self-discovery.
4. Be predictable but reject conformity.
5. Systems don’t complete projects people do.
6. Conformity never inspires. From: 5 Surprising ways to Inspire Others
7. Stop pretending you want change when in reality you want comfort.
8. If you want to transform an organization, grow new leaders.
9. The question that frees you isn’t what should I do, it’s what should I stop. From: Over Commit to One Thing
10. Believe in those who believe in you.
11. Leaders believe in others.
12. If you can see the finish line it’s time to start again.
13. If you aren’t learning you’re losing.
14. Things that don’t make sense have more potential than things that do.
15. Leaders give people permission to make a difference.
16. Love gives meaning and worth to everything you do. From: From Low Impact to High Impact Leadership
17. Opportunities hide in unmet needs.

Next level challenge:

Give feet to a quote by developing a set of hot-to’s. For example: Be predictable but reject conformity.

Be predictable:

1. Treat everyone with equity; reject favoritism.
2. Avoid flying off the handle.
3. Think before you speak.
4. Adopt and consistently observe policies and procedures.
5. Prepare people for change.

Reject conformity:

1. Invite outsiders in.
2. Generate more than one solution.
3. Predictably ask, “Why not?”
4. Challenge inefficiencies.
5. Eagerly explore new ideas. Say yes as much as possible.

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Which quotes speak to you? Modifications?

What how-to’s can you add to a quote?

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Letting People Go with Transparency and Dignity

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Never make enemies of people you “let go,” if you can help it.

“Every person who leaves goes on to represent your company. They can bad-mouth or praise.” Jack Welch

One wise business owner told me, “Sometimes I’m closer to people after I fire them than before.”

Turning bad to good:

1. Never humiliate. Ask, “Is this how I’d like to be treated if I was let go?”
2. Generous severance.
3. Placement. Explore their strengths and help them find another position.
4. Encourage. Being let go can be traumatic; express compassion.
5. Stay in touch. The silent treatment costs you more than continued contact. Send emails, birthday cards, call to see how things are. Treating people like lepers makes your organization look like a leper colony.

Crimes, ethics, and other sticky situations:

Letting someone go for dishonesty is different from letting them go for poor performance. Ethics violations are quicker and easier, performance issues are long painful affairs.

Tell your organization the reasons. Here’s why:

1. If you don’t tell your organization, they’ll make things up.
2. Uncertainty and speculation drain energy and stall momentum.
3. Enforcing high standards lifts everyone’s game; it makes you better. When they realize “John” was let go for lying to customers, you reinforce honesty.

The way you fire says more about you than the way you hire. Always act in the best interests of your organization and those you let go.

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How can leaders improve the firing process?

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Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. It’s always practical and brief.

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How to Speak Like the Pros

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Leading is more difficult if you can’t speak well.

Speaking ability enhances leadership potential. Public platforms provide opportunities to shape, direct, and motivate organizations.

Be as smart as this student:

Holly said she wasn’t excited about the presentations she was giving this semester. I followed up, “Do you have a speech class?”

She replied, “No, my instructors just want presentations. I’m not comfortable but need it. I plan to enter management. When I graduate I’ll be leading meetings and giving presentations.”

3 public speaking tips:

1. Audience determines content and style, not you. Use one strategy for two year olds and another for the management team.
2. Tell people what they need to hear not what you need to say. You may focus too much on facts and figures and not enough on feelings.
3. Be personal. Don’t use names but look at and speak to individuals, even if the group is large.

Propelled to new levels:

Learn from famous mentors.

Radio talk show hosts can enhance your speaking style. I started copying their style while driving. I probably looked like a whacko to other drivers. Yes, I listen and then try reproducing their speech!

It’s amazing how much energy radio personalities put into speaking. They taught me diction, rate, and punch.

Additionally, learn from TV communicators.

Copy the most successful, not the obscure.

Watching and listening is not enough:

The light came on when I literally copied them, not until. Try it. My wife laughs when I copy TV game show hosts.

Remember:

The goal is learning techniques not becoming clones. Grab techniques that enhance rather than obscuring you.

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What public speaking techniques enhance your communication?

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More:

Here are eight public speaking tips from James Quigley, former global CEO of Deloitte, the largest private professional services firm on earth:

#7. Be yourself – authentic speakers connect. More…

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Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. It’s always practical and brief.

Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.

Tapping the Positive Potential of Anger

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Anger is a high potential power-emotion.

Anger reveals your values and exposes a hidden self. Flipping off reckless drivers may not be polite but it says you value your safety. The sad side of anger is it makes you a fool.

Unmanaged anger is scalding, destructive passion. Managed anger drives change by harnessing energy.

The down side of unmanaged anger:

1. Motivates reckless behavior.
2. Loosens tongues.
3. Causes more damage than good.
4. Focuses blame on others.

The up side of managed anger:

1. Motivates action.
2. Fuels courage.
3. Clarifies values.
4. Intensifies focus.

15 Ways to Deal with Anger:

Contributors on my Facebook page completed the sentence, “I deal with anger by ____:”

1. Trying to find the funny or ironic in the middle.
2. Getting it out and getting it over quick.
3. Riding my bike.
4. Thinking of solutions.
5. Being sure my brain is thinking before my mouth is moving.
6. By putting the energy into positive behavior.
7. Walking away and taking time to evaluate.
8. By reflecting on my part in the situation.
9. Painting, writing about it.
10. Seeking advice from a third party.
11. Picturing what my grandfather’s reaction would be.
12. Checking my ego.
13. Too often saying things I regret. (I had to include that one)
14. Accepting that I’m angry.
15. Depending on the situation, letting it out on the person who screwed up.

When I feel anger’s heat, I call a trusted friend and spew it over him. I tell him exactly what I think, unfiltered. He always does the same thing; he listens and slows me down. He saves me from a world of regret and enables me to identify constructive behaviors.

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What advantages and disadvantages of anger do you see?

How do you deal with anger?

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Related Post:

Frustration is a Good Thing? “I love seeing frustration. I don’t rush to end it”

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Don’t miss a single issue of Leadership Freak, subscribe today. It’s free. It’s private. It’s always practical and brief.

Go to the main page of Leadership Freak by clicking the banner at the top of this page, look in the right-hand navigation bar, enter your email and click subscribe.  Your email address is always kept private.  Note:  if it doesn’t arrive, check your spam filter for a confirmation email.