The 8 Strengths of Humility

I asked G.J. Hart, when he was CEO of Texas Roadhouse, if he could spot emerging leaders. He didn’t rule out talent, education, or leadership presence, but he replied, “I can usually tell if they have the humility to make it.”

Hart’s statement so deeply impacted me that I wrote about humility in, “The Character Based Leader.”

Humble leaders are stronger than arrogant leaders.

Humble strength vs. arrogant weakness:

1. Humility learns; arrogance knows.
2. Humble leaders submit to noble values; they won’t bend. Arrogant leaders bend rules to their advantage.
3. Humility listens; arrogance talks.
4. Humble leaders serve others; arrogant leaders serve themselves.
5. Humble leaders are free to build up others. Arrogant leaders build up themselves.
6. Humility opens hearts; arrogance builds walls.
7. Humility joins; arrogance stands aloof.
8. Humble leaders connect; arrogant leaders disconnect.

Humility enables leaders to ask, “How can I help?”

Thanks to Kristi Neises on The Leadership Coffee Shop for reminding me of this C.S. Lewis quote:

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself
but thinking of yourself less.”

Necessity:

Leadership skills are important for leadership success but humility is necessary. I’ll take a less skilled humble leader over a more skilled arrogant leader every time.

Arrogant leaders might succeed but they’ll never be successful. Can you think of any leadership skill that isn’t more beautiful with humility?

The Path:

Leadership is first about character then about skills. Spend more time developing the practice of humility and less time working on leadership skills.

You can’t talk your way into humility; it’s always practiced.

See Facebook contributions: The Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

What strengths do you see in humility?

How does arrogance hinder or destroy leadership?

10 Essentials for Dynamic Candor

Inept leaders block uncomfortable topics from the discussion. It’s pathetic. Weak, fearful leaders need agreement to confirmation their leadership.

On the other hand, I recently spent time with five members of an executive team who displayed the power of candor. They brought themselves and their perspective to the discussion. In some organizations it would have been dangerous. I found it invigorating.

Weak executives say what their CEO expects them to say.

Power:

Candor used well ignites useful stress and productive conflict.

Candor enables excellence by propelling tough issues into leadership conversations. Apart from candor, organizations enjoy imagined unity based on conspiracies of silence. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Lack of candor is the path to mediocrity and eventual crisis.

Candor, however, isn’t an answer on its own.

Danger:

The context of candor is tough issues, short-comings, failures, and the pursuit of excellence. Candor on its own creates negative, oppressive, dark environments.

10 Behaviors effective candor requires:

1. Willingness to adapt or change. If you can’t say, “I was wrong,” candor becomes adversity.
2. Gossip free secrecy. Candor ends when you publicly share private disagreements.
3. Respect. Withholding candor is manipulative disrespect. It suggests that others believe you can’t handle or don’t want the truth.
4. Courtesy. If anger fuels your candor, keep quiet until anger abates.
5. Passion with emotional steadiness.
6. Trust that others won’t use your words against you. Lack of candor expresses lack of trust. Candor creates vulnerability. Candor says, “I trust you enough to speak the hard truth.”
7. Apologies.
8. Taking responsibility.
9. Staying focused on issues, outcomes, processes, and procedures.
10. Affirmation.

Candor apart from affirmation builds negative relationships.

Bonus: Everyone rows together once decisions are made.

How have you seen candor go wrong?

What makes candor work?

Top 15 Strategies for Leadership Success

The first thing you need to know is:

Success is a result not an end in itself.

Five organizational strategies:

1. Always create more harmony than discord.
2. Build up more than you tear down, much more.
3. Long-term views build stability.
4. Short-term views produce quick results.
5. Make life easier for those over you.

Three relationship strategies:

1. Friends represent who you will become.
2. Show respect.
3. Always act with kindness, especially when being tough.

Two personal development strategies:

1. Identify wise leaders and seek their counsel, often.
2. Read. If you don’t read, listen to books.

Five communication strategies:

1. Never pretend you know when you don’t.
2. Always speak clearly, directly, and honestly.
3. Talk less; listen more.
4. Stay in the moment in public.
5. Focus on and enjoy others.

Bonus: Define success.

What top strategies for leadership success can you add?

The Secrets of Imperfection

You might think it’s awkward but I asked anyway.

“What makes me think you can be a leader?” The person I asked is in their early 20’s with many leadership accomplishments.

Maybe it was part humility, part fear of saying the “wrong” thing, or part sincerely not knowing, eventually they said, “I don’t know.” I said one word, “dissatisfaction.”

Dissatisfaction makes me believe
you could be a successful leader.

Why I said dissatisfaction:

1. I wanted to take something others might see as a weakness and make it a component of strength.
2. A person satisfied with the present can’t lead. All leaders want to make things better.
3. I wanted to encourage them.

Not enough:

Dissatisfaction is the beginning of leadership; it doesn’t guarantee you’ll lead. Many dissatisfied people remain stuck. They never change anything. They comfort themselves by blaming others.

Dissatisfaction destroys people
unless they take responsibility for change.

Make your move:

1. Focus on things you control. Move from dissatisfaction with current conditions to identifying and taking imperfect steps toward change.
2. Build imperfect relationships and alliances. Make it easy for people to join you. Dissatisfied people aren’t always fun to be around. Our dissatisfaction gets old. Being dissatisfied and feeling alone is nearly unbearable.
3. Develop imperfect solutions. The trouble with dissatisfaction is there’s never a satisfying solution.
4. Celebrate imperfect progress. If you don’t celebrate imperfect progress, progress always ends. Forget the magic pill. It doesn’t exist.

Don’t let go of dissatisfaction; embrace it.

Deal with an imperfect world, imperfectly,
if you don’t, you’re doomed to become what you despise.

Related post: Walking the Leadership Tightrope

What role does dissatisfaction play in your life and leadership?

How do you deal with dissatisfaction?

16 Things Successful Leaders Never Do

Not doing is one side of finding success.

1. Never let the bottom line be the bottom line.
2. Never pretend things are ok when they aren’t.
3. Never let what you’ve never done be the reason not to try.
4. Never get ahead by resenting those who get ahead.
5. Never let those who aren’t doing something prevent you for doing something.
6. Never do on the road what you wouldn’t do at home.
7. Never trust anyone who never admits mistakes.
8. Never achieve greatness through negativity.
9. Never pretend you can do what you can’t.
10. Never let others fail before doing everything appropriate to help them succeed.
11. “An executive has never suffered because his subordinates were strong and effective.” Peter Drucker
12. Never find wisdom in excuses, defensiveness, or blame.
13. Never think loyalty is a gift.
14. Never waffle when it comes to taking responsibility.
15. Never waver when it comes to giving credit.
16. Never make excuses. “Never make excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your foes won’t believe them.” JohnWooden

Bonus: Never create the future by recreating the past.

What should leaders never do?

Which of these is most important to you?

Fixing Why Leaders Don’t Let Go of Decisions

Decisions should be made
by those closest to the action.

The trouble is those closest to the action may not see the big picture. They may act selfishly. Perhaps they’re great at their jobs but they’re fearful. Should I continue?

You have a bag full of reasons why others shouldn’t have decision making authority. Most are self-made; many are self-serving.

Leaders can’t let go of decisions because they:

1. Believe distributed decision making creates mediocrity.
2. Think they know better.
3. Don’t share information.
4. Have more experience.
5. Have an agenda they haven’t shared.
6. Don’t trust others.

Personally, I don’t let go of decisions because I believe:

1. I’m more passionate.
2. I better see where we need to go.
3. I like control.

Five Ways I know you’re ready to make decisions:

1. You fully embrace organizational values. The more closely aligned we are the more trusting I am of you.
2. You have a proven track record of unselfishness. I can’t let you make decisions if you have your own best interests in mind.
3. You have a proven track record of follow-through. The more you’ve succeed in the past the more I trust you in the present.
4. You understand and believe in organizational vision. Decisions that impact future direction most touch vision.
5. You understand and believe in organizational mission. Decisions that improve present conditions most touch mission.

What prevents leaders from sharing decision making authority?

How do you know when others are ready to make decisions?

How can you prepare people to become decision makers?

Walking the Leadership Tightrope

I’m so committed to pressing into the future that it’s hard to enjoy the present. You can’t lead if you aren’t dissatisfied. How are you navigating the leadership tightrope between what is and what could be?

Leadership tightropes include:

1. Passion to improve and discouragement at progress.
2. Pressing into the future and rejection of the present.
3. Wanting things to be better and constant dissatisfaction.
4. Satisfaction with the present and fear of apathy or lethargy.

Successful leaders learn to live
with dissatisfaction in positive ways.

If you can’t be positive in the face of falling short, you’ll discourage your team. Optimism has meaning during improvement, challenge, adversity, and distress.

Being dissatisfied in positive ways:

1. Compare the present with the past when thinking about progress.
2. Compare the present with the future when tapping into aspirations.
3. Use the negative present as a tool to create dissatisfaction. “This can’t continue.”
4. Focus on the talents and abilities of the team to instill hope.
5. Tell stories of achievement that inspire optimism.
6. Take time to celebrate imperfect progress.

Pessimism says, “We’re terrible.” Optimism says, “We can be better.”

How are you walking the tightrope that aspiration to be better can create?

Portrait of a Micro-manager

Most people I’ve asked say they’ve worked for a micro-manager. Their frustration shows when they talk about the person who drained joy from their career and under-utilized their skills.

You’re a micro-manager if you:

1. Over-estimate your skills and under-estimate the skills of the team.
2. Feel misunderstood and unappreciated.
3. Hear too many questions.
4. See yourself as a doer rather than an enabler.
5. Give incremental permission.
6. Pride yourself in being on top of everything.
7. Check work email on weekends, evenings, and during vacation.
8. Criticize too much and affirm too little.
9. Need too much information yet give too little.
10. View staff development as wasted time.
11. Punish mistakes rather than learning from them.
12. Hoard power and authority.
13. View others as adversaries to be controlled.
14. Take credit.
15. Blame.
16. Prevent initiative.
17. Work longer hours than anyone else.
18. Frustrate your team.
19. Emphasize authority.
20. Minimize relationship.

See insights from Facebook contributors: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

What qualities do micro-managers possess?

What impact do micro-managers have on individuals, teams, and/or organizations?

Helping Others Begin Their Leadership Journey

When leadership is about making things better it’s inclusive not exclusive; functional not positional.

Everyone who asks, “How can I help us make things better?”
is on a leadership journey regardless of position.

Three essentials:

Everyone leads when they believe in their own voice, embrace a vision, and exercise change-making-skills and strategies. Voice without vision – clear direction – dilutes life to meaningless chatter. Vision apart from change-making-skills frustrates and paralyzes.

Successful leaders:

1. Reignite everyone’s innate desire to matter.
2. Affirm the voice of others.
3. Provide direction by clarifying vision.
4. Develop everyone’s change-making talents and skills.

Leaders ask others:

1. How do you want to matter?
2. How does your voice align with organizational vision?
3. Where do you fit in?
4. What skills magnify your voice?
5. What skills enable you to create communities – teams – who embrace dreams bigger than themselves?

The first time someone asks, “How can I help us make things better?” is the day a leader is born. But, beware, baby leaders die quickly. They need encouragement, vision, and tools.

Matter more:

“What can “I” do?” is good but too small. The question is, “What can we do?”

The difference is doing things “for” or doing things “with.”

Individual contributors always matter. Those who create and participate in communities dedicated to making things better matter more.

First steps for functional leaders:

1. Once you find your own voice help others find theirs.
2. Connect with people who want to make the world better in ways that fuel your passion.
3. Learn skills that enable you and your community make a difference, communication, planning, and goal setting, for example.

Everyone can be a leader even if they don’t have a title or position. It begins by asking, “How can I help us make things better?”

How can leaders help others realize their own leadership potential?

Making the First Move

If you don’t move first you aren’t leading. But, don’t move first every time.

Passion, vision, and compassion propel leadership-action. Leaders step in where others step back.

All leaders move toward:

1. Opportunity.
2. Challenge.
3. Change.
4. Achievement.

Wise leaders move toward:

1. People over opportunities. People are leadership’s greatest opportunity, period.
2. Failure. Failure isn’t sought it’s leveraged. Fools run from failure. Leaders fail well because failure is progress. Leaders peel the scab off, learn and go.
3. Conflict. Clarity is the child of conflict used well.
4. Listening.
5. Collaboration.
6. Apology.

Bonus: Move first toward those who offend you.

“Wise” applies best to the second list because it’s not intuitive.

Foolish leaders prefer telling to listening, for example. Additionally, wise leaders learn apologizing first is strength not weakness.

About the first list:

Focus is the hardest part of passion.

Unfocused passion, vision, and compassion are the enemies of success. Selective wisdom is the mother of success. Unfocused passion is the father of destruction. Inexperienced leaders act like squirrels on steroids when new opportunities emerge.

My problem is I’ve never seen an opportunity I didn’t like.

Danger:

Your inclination to move first invites resistance because it destabilizes, disturbs, and disrupts. You may wrongly view resistance as the enemy. Move toward resistance. Pushing through resistance is the pursuit of alignment.

The twist:

All leaders move first but wise leaders learn the power of moving second. It’s not natural, but, wise leaders learn to be first at letting others go first. View moving second as leadership development – enhancing capacity – not passive resignation.

What are the dangers or frustrations of moving first?

How can leaders move first in ways that bring others with them?