The 10 Ways to Gain Influence

If leadership is influence then dominance and coercion aren’t leading. Police have rightful authority to control. Relying on power, authority, or position, makes you look like a cop writing speeding tickets.


Dominant leaders achieve compliance at the expense of loyally, inspiration, and innovation.

If you want to lead, increase your influence.


Increasing your influence means gaining permission to lead.

Influence requires approval.

People want to join with others and make a difference in the world. In short, they want to be led. But, if the led don’t consent to your leadership, command and control are your only options.

When leadership is influence, those you lead give permission to your leadership. They aren’t forced.


People are influenced by those who understand them. Permission to lead is given by those who feel known, appreciated, affirmed, and respected. When people feel you understand their talents, drives, hopes, and fears you earn their consent to lead.

Approving of others helps them
approve of your leadership.


Criticism and correction diminish influence
when it feels like disapproval.

Three reasons influential leaders criticize or correct:

  1. Correction is always for the benefit of the person being corrected.
  2. Criticism improves their ability to make positive difference within the organization.
  3. Capability to achieve a shared mission is enhanced.

10 Essentials of influence:

  1. Clearly stating what you want.
  2. Asking questions of others.
  3. Inviting questions from others.
  4. Openness to the influence of others.
  5. Working together toward shared goals.
  6. Authenticity.
  7. Relationship building.
  8. Asking for suggestions, advice, and input.
  9. Making the case and giving reasons.
  10. Shared values.

See input from others on my Facebook Page.

Engagement: I’m giving my presentation, “A Life Where Failure Matters,” at Life Church in Lancaster, PA this Sunday, November 4, at 10:30 a.m. I’d love to meet you there.


What can you add to the 10 essentials of gain influence?