Comments on: The Five Powers of Permission

By: Larry Coppenrath

Larry Coppenrath — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 01:23:51 +0000

I have always thought that a leader should memorize the phrase “May I count on you to …..” I think that is bidirectional permission…You have permission to ask and they have permission to commit…

By: bxljenny

bxljenny — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 10:00:53 +0000

Excellent post! Very much in line with what I wrote in my last post: http://jennyebermann.com/2012/11/23/about-the-power-of-we-leading-with-compassion/
Unfortunately, many people are still writing things like: ‘You have to’ and ‘This is mandatory, you don’t have a choice’. Not very empowering and not motivating either!

By: alipeles

alipeles — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 04:54:01 +0000

The importance of humility and respect can’t be underestimated, but it’s also important for managers to be direct when an employee really has no choice.

In your example of following up a rejection with “We need to talk about this soon.” It feels disingenuous to have asked for permission to discuss something when the conversation was actually mandatory.

It would be more honest, yet still respectful, to say, “We need to discuss XYZ. Could we do that this afternoon?” You still give the courtesy of asking for permission, but firmly enough that if the answer is “no”, you can follow up with, “No problem. I’ll set something up for later this week.”

By: Alan Kay

Alan Kay — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 15:39:00 +0000

There’s also the helpful and presumptuous, “Would it be Ok if we can talk about what it will look like when you succeed at x?” Or, “Would it be useful if you and I talked about where you are already doing well on this difficult task?”

By: Skip Weisman

Skip Weisman — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 13:32:46 +0000

Dan,
Great article! And as someone who teaches influencing skills to leaders in organizations, I’d like to add one other reason I haven’t read here, yet, as to why leaders do not use permission based language to influence those they lead.

Very simply, they don’t know how. I truly believe, based on training hundreds in influencing communication skills to use personal power vs. authoritarian power, that no one has ever taught them this is an option, no how to do it so that they don’t come across as weak. I’ve coached leaders that try to communicate with a less authoritarian and softer approach and they struggle to get the results they need and so they leap to the other end when they feel they are taken advantage of and know no other way.

Leadership is like parenting, in many ways. Most of us learn parenting from how we experienced it as we grew up under our parents. Likewise, we learn leadership from those who led us earlier in our careers and few of us had great role models and even if we did, often we weren’t paying attention to what they were doing. So, we are all left to figure it out on our own in the early stages of stepping into a leadership role.

In my leadership training I tell my clients leaders need more humility and need to be humble leaders which will open the door to communicating as you suggest.

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 12:30:53 +0000

correction: even through a leader

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 12:30:06 +0000

Great post! I believe that even through a has the position of “being in Charge” when he asks permission he creates an atmosphere of inclusion. In other words your input is valuable and adds to the accomplishment of our vision. Thus the follower’s enthusiasm grows more passionate for the cause whatever that may be.

By: Dan Rockwell

Dan Rockwell — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 20:50:28 +0000

KaChing! Thanks Kel! I appreciate you adding your story.

By: Kel

Kel — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 17:43:35 +0000

Hi Dan,
I believe asking for permission from others creates a sense of ownership on followers. I have observed my team who cared less about the company becomes great advocates and innovators of problem solving.

I make sure the team knows and understands that I will be directive when neccessary. I now hear the team talking among themselves, ” We need to find out what is important to Kel too, so that we can suprise her”.

I believe mostly this leadership concept creates a sense of community where the team becomes aware of others needs as they actively support each other. I call it consideration!

Again thanks,
Kel

By: Dan Rockwell

Dan Rockwell — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 15:39:09 +0000

Directive leadership is tempting because it’s often quicker in the short-term.

Lets also remember that directive leadership is appropriate under certain conditions. It’s not evil. It’s applied too frequently.