Finding Courage to Begin Again

I usually sleep the New Year in and watch the ball drop on the news. New Year’s Eve is an imaginary line in the sand but, I must confess, its power is real. New Year’s inspires us to begin again.

Step into the future or settle for the past.

Three keys to courageously begin again:

People give courage.

The people closest to you determine
the heights you reach.

You don’t lack determination you lack encouraging friends. Connect with courage-givers not courage-drainers. You won’t go far without others.

Resolution: Make a short list of people who lift you and spend more time with them.

Resolution: Fill those around you with courage by honoring their strengths. Make them feel they matter.

Positives inspire courage.

There’s something wrong with everything. There’s always room for improvement. Celebrate progress more frequently than suggesting improvements. Celebrations inspire courage. Constant correction drains courage.

Explaining what’s next
without celebrating what was – discourages.

Resolution: Say at least four positives for every negative.

Love overcomes fear.

Mothers face lions to protect the children they love. Love your organization. Love the people in it.

I’m not talking romantic love. Seek their highest good. Place the interests of others before your own. Self-interest makes leaders cautious. Seeking the interest of others enables and encourages.

Resolution: Place your organization before yourself.

Bonus:

Purpose sustains courage.

Noble mission infuses effort with value and sustains courage. People with purpose begin again.

Leaders fuel courage by explaining purpose,
giving place, and enabling progress.

How do you fill others with courage?

What fills you with courage?

They’re Better Without Me

Step away. Let the players play.

The meeting after the meeting:

The meeting went long because we were finalizing things. It’s understandable, but I’m committed to short rather than long.

After the meeting, I quickly walked out and engaged another leader for a moment. Everyone else remained in the room. Stepping back in, several huddles had formed.

Two inclinations:

My first inclination, join in.

My second inclination, turn and walk out.

The first inclination is a player’s inclination.  Give me the ball. Let me play, too. My second inclination, walking out, demonstrates a coach or leadership inclination. I often feel tension between the two.

Better:

They’re devoted to our organization. We share values. They know where we’re going. They’re better without me.

Leadership’s role:

1. Exemplify passion.
2. Create and maintain inspirational environments.
3. Clarify focus.
4. Develop others.
5. Give authority.
6. Galvanize energy.
7. Elevate standards.
8. Challenge processes.
9. Honor effort.
10. Keep out of the way!

In the end, the ball’s in their court, not mine.

When do you step in vs. step out?

What leadership roles carry the most weight?

Six Ways to Find Your Future

The past is the future for most. Persistence and endurance assure continuity. But, more of the same won’t birth new futures. Looking back and holding on stagnates, solidifies, and congeals life like cold bacon grease.

99% of the conversations I have about the future are actually about the past. Creating the future is recreating “glory days,” for most. It’s foolish and futile.

Modifying the old past never creates new futures.

Memories without dreams are anchors.

The future is made by those who face forward, not backward. Stand on your glory days. Forget reruns.

Warning:

Blame destroys your future. Your future begins when you own your past.

6 ways to find your future:

1. Embrace ignorance. The unknown has more potential than the known. Everyone who pretends they know when they don’t, repeats the past.
2. Reject past methods and strategies. In a turbulent world, methods that become moral imperatives destroy new futures.
3. Build new relationships. Your future is about people not projects or accomplishments. Current relationships maintain stability; new relationships disrupt and extend. Treasure both.
4. Embrace social media. Meet people succeeding where you wish to succeed.
5. Overcome timidity. 70% to 80% certainty is enough.
6. Systematically build the future alongside the old present. Once your future is strong enough, release the old and embrace the new.

Failure to let go is the reason you haven’t moved forward.

Point of stability:

Focus on values. New futures disrupt. Values stabilize.

Values guide as you go without determining destinations.

Without clear values, you’re adrift.

With 2013 peeking at us, how can leaders take steps to create the future?

Beyond Typical S.M.A.R.T Goals in 2013

The former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Jim Parker, told me,

“Don’t set artificial goals for yourself.”

Begin with noble ends:

Leadership is about people. Set people goals. Production and profitability are useful and necessary but never enough.

Increasing profits by 6% is important but not noble.

Two questions beyond artificial:

1. How do you want to think and feel about yourself when 2013 slips away?
2. What contribution will you make to the way others think and feel about themselves?

For you:

How do you want to think and feel about yourself?

1. Proud. Does your behavior and attitude make you proud of yourself?
2. Progressing. How can you enhance your strengths and minimize your weaknesses? What can you do for you?
3. Beneficial. How can you help others?
4. ???

For others:

How do you want others to think and feel about themselves?

1. Hopeful. What can you do to make the future bright?
2. Confident. How will you bolster self-confidence? Confidence fuels action.
3. Meaningful. How will you let others know they matter?
4. Connected. How will you make others feel they belong?
5. Interdependent. How will you help others work with others?
6. ???

Apply S.M.A.R.T to People:

S.M.A.R.T. goals are:

1. Specific.
2. Measurable.
3. Achievable.
4. Relevant.
5. Time-specific.

Apply S.M.A.R.T. to you and the contribution you’re making to others in 2013.

Getting there:

Tell others where you’re going if you’re serious about getting there. Invite in. Share plans. Give permission to ask what you’re doing to reach your goals.

How do you want to feel about you when 2013 slips away?

How do you want to make others feel?

Overcoming 7 Barriers to Getting What You Want

All leaders want what they don’t have. Wrong wanting frustrates. Right wanting motivates.

Why leaders don’t get what they want?

1. Failure to name it. You never achieve what you don’t name. Fear prevents leaders from saying what they really want.
2. Neglecting the team. Too much time spent focused on reaching goals not enough focused on building people.
3. Too many big goals not enough small. Successfully achieving several small goals builds confidence that big goals are possible. Reaching goals lengthens reach. Persistently falling short, shortens reach.
4. Unrealistic expectations.
5. Planning without follow through.
6. Lack of direction and focus.
7. Too much passion; not enough reason.

Get what you want by wanting the right things.

1. The horses in the barn not your imagination identify the right things to want. Where can your team take the organization you lead? Want that! It’s foolish to go where your team can’t take you.
2. Identify what you want by exploring what others want. What you want isn’t the only want. Aligned wants are achieved. Isolated wants cool and die.
3. Adapt your wants to anticipated resources, plus a little. Did income increase by 4% last year? Adjust your wants by 6%. Did it decrease by 5% then decrease by 3%.

Get what you want by building the team. People never reach when failure seems certain.

1. Build confidence by honoring skills, talents, and effort. Achievements are great but talent got you there.
2. Motivate with achievable milestones.
3. Establish stretch goals with, not for.
4. Develop skill-sets that align with goals.

Bonus: Change the team.

Why don’t leaders get what they want?

How can leaders more frequently get what they want?

Leadership Lessons from Christmas

It doesn’t matter, skeptic, doubter, or believer, the Christmas Story contains useful leadership lessons.

Connect:

Leaders connect. Who can’t connect with a baby?

If leadership is all about people then connecting is essential. When I asked Henry Mintzberg for his favorite word of advice, he said one word, “Connect.”

Vulnerability:

Vulnerability is dangerous but necessary to connect. Vulnerability welcomes in.

I’m often tempted to pull away and protect myself. Isolation and silence are my preferred protection-strategies. Have you seen isolated leaders?

But, protection-mode slows everything and blocks relationship. Jettison protection – embrace vulnerability. Of course it’s dangerous. Leading is risky.

Control:

Control creates artificial, stagnant, imitation relationships. Run to the mess. Go so far as making the mess.

Messy:

The arrival of Jesus was messy. Animals and a stable aren’t optimal.

Embrace the mess; don’t wait for perfection. Every path forward has reasons it won’t work, reasons to wait.

All you’ll do is mess with ducks if you
wait till all your ducks are in a row.

Anger:

The arrival of Jesus infuriated some. Do something that ticks someone off.

If everyone loves what you do,
you aren’t doing much.

First and toward:

Christmas is Jesus moving first and leaning toward. Jump in and do something. Step toward challenges not away.

What leadership lessons do you learn from religious holidays you celebrate?

Create Culture by Celebrating Small

Hate your work environment? Build rather than tear down. Whining reinforces negative environments. Celebrations build and reinforce positive environments.

Celebrations create culture.

Sadly, short-sighted leaders are stingy with positives and free with negatives. All they talk about is:

1. What went wrong?
2. What needs to be fixed?
3. What fell short?

Negative celebrations build negative environments.

Additionally, thoughtless leaders  reserve celebrations for “the big stuff.”

Celebrate more; celebrate small.

Celebratory questions:

Ask these questions to colleagues and employees.

1. What qualities do you respect in those around you?
2. What do you love about your job?
3. What’s going right?

Celebration in meetings:

End every meeting with affirmations, congratulations, and recognition.

Saying, “Great job,” keeps everyone doing a great job.

Power tip: Let small celebrations stand on their own. Little negatives at the end drain positives of their power.

Celebrate small:

1. Smiles.
2. Pleasant attitudes. “Your positive attitude lifts the spirit in our office.” Don’t add, “You should try it more often.”
3. Laughter. “I love the sound of your laugh.”
4. Kindness.
5. Generosity.
6. Things others do that you can’t. “You’re great with upset customers.” Don’t add, “I wish I was.”
7. Happy customers.
8. The present. Don’t let past failure or future uncertainties prevent celebrating now.
9. Human contact and relationships.
10. Insights. The next time someone shares something they learned from a book, celebrate. Perhaps you don’t get it. They do, so celebrate.

Bonus: Transform criticism into celebration. “Thanks for caring for my success. What’s the next step?”

Self-reflect:

How do people feel when you’re around? Your answer explains the culture you’re building. Truth is, it explains the life you’re building.

How can leaders celebrate more and celebrate small?

Facing the Challenge of Restraint

Tell me the last time you didn’t step in to help. I know you love talking about everything you do. What you aren’t doing matters, too.

Restraint represents one of leadership’s great challenges. Success includes pulling back.

Stepping in frustrates talent. Fixing de-motivates. Solving insults.

Unrestrained leaders don’t help,
they get in the way.

Leadership restraint is:

1. Stepping out so others can step in.
2. Waiting while others step up.
3. Investing in tomorrow.
4. Expressing confidence in others.

Leadership restraint isn’t:

1. Passive. Ask questions. Stop train wrecks.
2. Inactive. Monitor progress.
3. Spontaneous. Carefully plan restraint.
4. Neglect. Healthy restraint energizes others. Unhealthy restraint frustrates. Neglect causes people to wonder if you care or if they matter.

Exercise restraint when:

1. Problems are being addressed rather than ignored.
2. Motivated employees press for more.
3. Progress occurs.
4. Failure can be overcome.

Ego hinders restraint; humility enables it. Restraint used well develops others, leverages potential, and enhances success.

Facebook readers are listing leadership’s top challenges.

When is restraint poor leadership?

How can leaders exercise restraint, effectively?

Finding the Leader’s Heart

***

Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville – did not.

The Grinch hated Christmas – the whole Christmas season. Now, please don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all… may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Whos.

Love, hate, joy, and anger are about you not others. The Grinch hated the Whos because his heart was small, not because the Whos were hate-worthy.

Feelings reveal and express what’s in you
not what’s around you.

And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then – the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two! 

The leader’s heart is:

1. Discontent.
2. Obsessive.
3. Visible.
4. Selfless.
5. Bold.
6. Serving.
7. Vibrant.
8. Straightforward.
9. Tender.
10. Tough.

Bonus: The leader’s heart grows rather than shrinks.

Leaders without heart are well manicured cemeteries, pretty to look at but full of dead bones. Everything is cold technique and dead strategy apart from heart.

“True meaning” grows hearts. Find purpose; find heart.

Which heart-qualities seem most important to you? Why?

What role does meaning/purpose play in leadership?

The Next Step – Stepping Out or Stepping Off

Most talk; few act. Rooms go silent when someone asks, “What’s next?” Dreaming, thinking, and talking aren’t doing.

Leaders do; dreamers talk.

Talking:

1. Feels like doing even when nothing’s done.
2. Feeds weak egos and small minds.
3. Slows progress.
4. Creates imagined problems that waste time, drain energy, and distract focus.

Nothing happens till you take the first step.

Before stepping out:

Go deep before stepping out.

Ask, “How does this step express our values?” Are you following popular trends or embracing behaviors that matter to you. Fads fade because they’re shallow.

Stepping out:

1. Test. Never put all your eggs in untested baskets.
2. Evaluate passion. Do first steps energize and fuel momentum?
3. Establish connections.
4. Develop teams.
5. Affirm strengths.
6. Build trust.
7. Learn as you go.
8. Enhance skills.
9. Build confidence.
10. Step to the cliff. Small steps always lead to giant cliffs – decision points.

Bonus: Stepping out prepares for stepping off.

Great endeavor always encounter resistance.

Stepping off:

1. Intensify focus. Failure matters.
2. Trust your strengths. Cliffs always test. Safe steps never bring out your best.
3. Leverage relationships built during the “small step” phase.
4. Go first. ”Follow me,” gets real, now.

Bonus: Know your strengths before arriving at stepping-off moments.

Power of skin:

Get skin in the game or get out! Real leaders have most to lose. Fake leaders posture and protect. Never let others take risks you should take.

Leaders who protect themselves create environments where others protect themselves.

1. Boldness stop.
2. Innovation ends.
3. Death begins, slowly.

The path to great achievement always leads to stepping-off moments. Prepare don’t run away.

How do you move from talking to doing?

What prepares individuals or teams for stepping off moments?