Comments on: If I started over …

By: joelgarfinkle8

joelgarfinkle8 — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:09:59 +0000

Support systems definitely do rock, Scott. You are on the right track. To take your great comment one step further, I think there’s an important mindset to the way we approach building our support systems. Sometimes the first thought is, “Yeah, I really want a support system so I can get nurturing and good ideas from other people.” A better approach might be to start from “What can I give?” rather than “What can I get?” Coming from a place of generosity lets others know they can count on you and builds your self-esteem and effectiveness at the same time.

By: joelgarfinkle8

joelgarfinkle8 — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:03:17 +0000

I agree, Martina—asking is an important first step. I think the reason we often don’t ask is the fear factor. Not just the fear of hearing “no,” which is a big one, but also the fear of putting ourselves out there, of being vulnerable in front of other people. We all need to monitor and reprogram our negative self-talk, which is what gets in the way of developing those important relationships we want to have. For example, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “I can do just fine by myself,” reframe that into, “I can leverage other peoples’ ideas to make my good idea even better.”

By: Dan Rockwell

Dan Rockwell — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 14:42:17 +0000

Powerful comment, Scott. I think, “If we were meant to be here alone we would be here alone.” is totally profound.

Thanks for an encouraging and challenging contribution.

By: scott

scott — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 14:25:13 +0000

Great Post Dan, made me think of Teddy Roosevelt, remember….

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

Seem to remember that quote saying something about a fella being so close to victory and all he needs is that last final push and he gives up never knowing how close to victory he was! Something like that. Maybe a different quote but you get the drift…. Support systems can help remind us to forge ahead, damn the torpedoes or help us realize we need to take a different approach. Support systems rock!!!!!

Having a support system to remind us to forge ahead even when it seems stupid, ridiculous, uneccesary, whatever at times means everything. There also to let you know you are progressing too. Just there, good bad or indifferent.

If we were meant to be here alone we would be here alone. How profound is that???

People in business and in life are our greatest assests. Now go let everyone you come in contact with today understand you get it! Think I kinda get it and deeply appreciate you Dan.

Thanks, again Dan!

Scott

By: Dan Rockwell

Dan Rockwell — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:58:37 +0000

Thank you Martina.

I’ve been thinking that Joel’s ideas aren’t hard. But, how many will actually follow through. You’ve given the first step in a path that makes a difference for people. It’s a great way to start the contribution stream.

Cheers

By: Martina McGowan

Martina McGowan — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:55:49 +0000

These are difficult situations for most people, Dan. Many of us, yes us, forget that the power is in the “ask.” The people who are already well-impacted by what we do and have to offer are golden prospects that we overlook in getting to that next level.

I think the same holds true for forming a community of like-minded people. We are already on the same page about many things, but we fail to reach out.

The first point in your post is the most important, I think. We forget that we cannot do it alone, But soon or late we see that we haven’t been alone, we just didn’t realize it.

Ask! What’s the worst that will happen? You get a “No.” But even then you have not lost. It is an oppotyunity to learn and to fine-tune your network and your asking.