Four Ways to Fit In and Not Disappear

Learn to fit in while you standout. Finding your place – in relation to others – frees, empowers, and enhances meaning.

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Fitting in:

Leaders who succeed in isolation aren’t doing much.

The myth of arrogance is you can succeed without others.

Successful leaders fit in. Connection requires alignment and conformity. Individualism is important and necessary, but it’s not absolute. More importantly, successful leaders help others fit in.

In a recent meeting, a team-leader said, “Tom really adds a lot.” In order to “add a lot,” people must find their place in relation to others.

4 ways to help others fit in:

  1. Honoring difference.
  2. Acknowledging their strengths and contributions, publicly.
  3. Explaining and respecting their power-behaviors. You’re at your best when….
  4. Pointing out how individuals make their team better. If you weren’t here ….

Help others fit in by monitoring their energy. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a visionary community leader. Her energy level rose when she talked about the way the world would be better after the mentoring conference she’s organizing.

But, when I asked about a few logistical items, it was like I’d thrown a wet blanket on her. She can handle logistics, but they don’t energize her.

Helping people fit in means helping them find energizing work.

Standing out:

Successful leaders don’t simply fit in. They standout. More importantly, they help others standout. But, standing out is isolation when you aren’t connected.

The ability to standout and remain connected elevates impact.

Three ways to help others standout:

  1. Release individuals to do more of what they love.
  2. Spend quality time with a few individuals.
  3. Avoid the trap of thinking busyness compensates for connection. Busyness destroys connection. Leaders who don’t have time to connect can’t standout.

How can leaders help others fit in?

How can leaders avoid the trap of isolation?