Addressing the Rotten-Apple-People Problem

Rotten apples – negative, destructive, self-absorbed, unethical employees – pollute organizations.

Furthermore, foul leaders inevitably build stagnant, foul organizations. Worse yet, passive leaders – those who tolerate rotten apples – create rotten environments by default.

Leaders who tolerate rotten apples are rotten themselves.

Facebook contributors discuss: “One bad apple spoils the whole bunch, true or false?” (5/3/13)

Spotting:

You don’t need a study to determine if your culture sucks.

1. People use blind copies in email.
2. Gossips win.
3. Territorial managers stake out and protect turf.
4. Leaders live in ivory towers.
5. Competition is about winners and losers not performance.
6. Getting by is the goal.
7. Smiles and laughs are rare.

Your culture sucks if people don’t love working in it.

Solving:

Organizational culture is simply the way you do things – how people treat each other. Yesterday, a Leadership Freak contributor suggested social contracts. KaPow!

Social contracts say you’re serious
about the way you do things.

Social contract:

We will:

1. Address issues in the smallest context possible. Dirty laundry is kept in the laundry room.
2. Expect you to connect with colleagues and teammates.
3. Take responsibility to improve things we don’t like.
4. Pursue the best interests of all parties, always.
5. Call you out if you let others down.
6. Speak candidly with compassion.
7. Forgive offenses that are acknowledged and addressed.

We won’t:

1. Say one thing to your face and another behind your back.
2. Tolerate posturing and puffing behaviors.
3. Lie, ever.
4. Blow up.
5. Hold grudges.
6. Have secret agendas.
7. Complain without bringing solutions.

Consequences:

Violating our social contract is grounds for warnings, corrective action, and dismissal, if necessary. You might be sent to our, “Be Nice,” class for social delinquents.

Enforcement:

Everyone is authorized to point out violations of social contracts, regardless of position or tenure.

More: Connecting Through Social Contracts.

What would you include in an organizational social contract?

Confronting Toxicity

Average leaders feel successful when they get things done.

Exceptional leaders feel successful when they build exceptional places to work.

Average leaders fix and do. Exceptional leaders build.

You begin thinking leadership is all about results but come to learn it’s about the way we treat each other. Results matter, but how you achieve results matters more. “Results only” is the formula for toxicity.

When all that matters are the numbers,
eventually, people don’t matter.

Great places to work are about the way things get done.

How not what:

Exceptional leaders focus on how.

1. How are we connecting?
2. How do we support each other?
3. How does the team feel?
4. How is respect expressed?

Exceptional leaders define “the way” things get done. Courageous leaders challenge back-stabbing and office politics, for example. They say, “That’s not the way we do things around here.”

Evaluate:

Organizations that neglect how things get done become lousy places to work. Frankly, soft-skills are hard. When was the last time you worked on:

1. Breaking silos. People in other departments aren’t the enemy.
2. Confronting rudeness, anger, or disrespect.
3. Creating cross-functional connections.
4. Good manners.
5. Compassionate interactions.
6. Morale.
7. Happiness. Organizations that don’t work on happiness end up unhappy.

Action:

The next time colleagues put each other down, step in and say, “We don’t do that around here.”

Toxic environments are the result of tolerating toxicity.

What you won’t tolerate is only part of the picture. Define and model what you expect, as well. Courageous leader define the “way we do things around here.”

Finally, act decisively to honor or punish. Terminate unrepentant jerks and reward kindness, for example.

Courageously:

1. Define the way you do things.
2. Hire people who fit.
3. Fire people who don’t fit.
4. Reward desired behaviors even if they don’t deliver results directly.

Success is more than what gets done, it’s how things get done, too.

How can leaders define “the way we do things?”

How would you build a connected organization?

Top Five Qualities of an Asshole

“We have a no asshole policy at Baird.” (Beth Kavelaris, Director of Culture & Integration, Robert W. Baird & Co. at the Great Place to Work Annual Conference 2013)

I was impressed with Beth’s candor. Baird manages nearly $97 billion in client assets at more than 100 locations scattered around the globe.

Definition:

“How do you define asshole?” a participant at the conference asked. Beth said, “Everyone knows what an asshole is.”

I thought I’d check her theory by offering my list of asshole traits.

Assholes:

1. Don’t know or don’t care that they’re assholes.
2. Trample on feelings.
3. Maintain rigid inflexibility.
4. Smile to your face and stab you in the back.
5. Live in self-centered worlds.

Tolerating assholes:

Bosses who tolerate assholes are bossholes.

Don’t be fooled by bossholes who smile and apologize for jerk-employees. I’ve known some very nice bossholes who allow others to feel the pain of working with assholes.

Bossholes care about the numbers
and neglect organizational culture.

Too nice:

Beth said our family culture at Baird makes us tolerate assholes too long.

It’s hard for nice people to confront “not so nice” people. Taken to an extreme, it’s dysfunctional. Families who tolerate and compensate for irresponsible behaviors are dysfunctional.

Too nice isn’t nice.

Rehabilitation:

Another participant asked if assholes can be rehabilitated. Beth said we’ve learned that you can’t rehabilitate an asshole who won’t admit they are an asshole.

How do you define an asshole?

What suggestions can you offer for dealing with assholes?

Seven Proven Strategies for Dealing with Liars

Image source by George Hodan

Leaders lie because they don’t care enough to tell the truth. It’s too much trouble convincing know-it-alls, for example, so they smile and let them believe they’re right. They say, “That sounds fine.” But they’re shading the truth.

Leaders lie to:

1. Build image.
2. Save face.
3. Prevent turmoil.
4. Solve conflict.
5. Distract or misdirect.
6. Manipulate others.
7. Protect information.
8. Put others down.
9. Elevate stocks.
10. Deceive themselves.

Bonus: Lying leaders pretend they know when they don’t. (One of the dumbest lies.)

Leaders believe lying is wrong but do it anyway.

Lying is always about some form of advantage.

Liars place their interests ahead of yours.

Bosses promise raises but don’t intend to deliver. Employees say they’ve done it when they haven’t. (See: The first lie I told at work.)

Seven strategies for dealing with liars:

1. Act quickly. Time is the liar’s friend.
2. Develop skepticism. Always begin with empathy, but, tender hearts are vulnerable to lies.
3. Be interested. Expose liars by asking questions like: How do you know? Who did you speak with? When did that happen? Who was there? What happened next?
4. Include others. Don’t talk to liars alone, have witnesses.
5. Validate by communicating with email.
6. Protect yourself. Don’t lie but don’t tell everything, either. Vulnerability is stupid when dealing with liars.
7. Confront liars you love. I know, we’re supposed to love everyone. Don’t lie to yourself, you don’t.

Bonus: Cultivate transparency – speak publicly – avoid unnecessary secrets. Tell all involved, who does what by when, for example.

Related posts:

12 True Behaviors that Expose Liars

Lying at work

Top Ten Lies Leaders Tell Themselves

See the growing list of responses on Facebook to the fill-in: Leaders lie because ______.

How can leaders deal with liars?

The Secret to Defeating Manipulators

Don’t get played.

Cowards, manipulators, and backstabbers encourage you to take risks so they don’t have to. They posture in shadows. Let others get dirty. They step into the light when it’s safe.

Leading requires risk-taking. Don’t lead if you can’t take responsibility. Backstabbers and players, on the other hand, manipulate leaders. They want benefit while others take risks.

Players and manipulators always drive toward self-interest, secretly. Even when making others look bad, its to strengthen their own position.

Exposing manipulative players:

Ask ten questions to see if you’re being played.

1. Are you being asked to keep secrets?
2. Is someone creating paranoia and weakening relationships?
3. Has someone whispered negative information about another in your ear?
4. Who’s in the loop? Who’s left out?
5. Whose life gets easier? Whose gets harder?
6. Why is it important for you to take the lead, rather than someone else?
7. Who looks good if it works?
8. Who takes the fall if it fails?
9. How is the team impacted?
10. Are you functioning within organizational values?

Bonus: Who’s doing the work? Manipulators maneuver others into doing most of the work.

Defeating manipulative players:

All organizations have players and backstabbers who place self-interest ahead of all other interests. They thrive in silence and secrecy.

Silence implies permission.

Secrets strengthen manipulators.

Openness and transparency defeat manipulative players. Don’t attack them. Don’t play their games. Open the shades. Turn on the lights. Watch them fall in line or scurry like cockroaches.

Performance wins when everything’s on the table.

Transparency defeats manipulators.

When you smell the stench of manipulation, invite all stakeholders to a meeting that spells out all deliverables, responsibilities, deadlines, and communication channels. Don’t waste time attacking manipulators. It’s a distraction. Create high performance cultures with transparency.

How can leaders lessen the power of manipulators?

How the Need for Fairness Destroys People

The need for fairness prevents
people in the middle from reaching the top.

Every organization of any size has slackers, drifters, and fence sitters. Top management should deal with them, but sometimes they don’t.

It’s not fair that you give 100% while they give 75%, or less. The need for fairness whispers in your ear,

“Why should you work harder than others?”

Don’t listen! Doing less is the path to mediocrity and self-defeat. The path to personal growth is taking on new responsibilities and challenges not shirking the ones you have.

Organizations that don’t reward hard
work, reward game-players and office politicians.

Continue working hard and seek new employment, transfer to another department, wait for the boss to die, but don’t become a drifter, whatever you do.

Politics vs. work:

Every successful leader understands and plays office politics, sometimes. I’m not talking about backstabbing and gossip. I’m talking about understanding the real organizational versus the official organizational chart, for example. On the other hand, hard work always applies.

Hard work:

Be the hardest worker in your office. Don’t destroy your health, neglect other responsibilities, or stay late every night. But, always bring it.

Reject the voice that says, “It’s not fair that you’re working harder than others.” Momma says, “Life isn’t fair.” She’s right. Overcome the self-defeating need for fairness.

How can people in the middle overcome the temptation to pull back because they’re working harder than others?

Handling Co-Worker Complaints and Backstabbing

Here’s a question from a recent workshop participant. “How do you handle someone complaining about a co-worker?”

First, you want people to come to you. Some managers want challenges, problems, and people to go away. They hide in their offices, sneak to the elevator, or duck into the restroom to avoid facing tough conversations.

Suggestions for dealing with co-worker complaints:

1. Ask the complainer, “What can you do to solve this?” Some complainers want you to solve their problem. That’s a last resort. Savior-managers create irresponsible employees.
2. The complainer may say, “I don’t know what I can do.” Say, “Why don’t you come back this afternoon with some ideas?”
3. Develop a strategy to deal with the issue. If you can’t, try number four.
4. Invite the person being complained about to a meeting to discuss the issue. You’ll be surprised that issues have several sides.
5. Focus on issues and performance rather than personalities, unless personality is the problem.
6. Take small steps in positive directions, don’t expect giant leaps. Identify observable behaviors. If you can’t see it, you can’t measure it.
7. Follow up. “Let’s get together in two weeks to follow up.”

More suggestions:

1. Withhold judgment.
2. Never take sides.
3. Clarify, is it personal or performance. It’s often personal.
4. Warning, backstabbers are masters at seeming helpful while being destructive.

Bonus tip: When you bring the two parties together and one of them had no idea there was a problem, you’re dealing with a backstabber. Excuse the one who’s in the dark and deal with the real issue.

Most importantly:

Deal with interpersonal tensions
because relationships are worth it.

Read what Facebook contributors added: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop

Note: I’m out of town and can’t check references. I have a feeling I’ve read the first three suggestions but can’t recall the author.

How do you handle complaints about co-workers?

Overcome the Dangers of Office Politics

Unethical office politicians create perceived threats. They’ll suggest someone is out to get you. “Watch out for Joe!”

Vulnerability to unethical office politicians occurs when you wrongly believe they’re acting in your best interest. In reality, they’re working for themselves.

I’ll never forget a colleague saying how sorry they felt for our boss. “She thinks I’m her friend.” they said. In reality they were manipulating rather than supporting the boss. On another occasion, they said, “I can cut someone and they’ll bleed to death before they realize what happened.”

The genius of unethical office politicians is their ability to
make you think you’re acting for your benefit when you’re acting for theirs.

Defensiveness:

The goal of unethical office politicians is defensiveness on your part. Playing defense distracts from good offense. Rather than working to create new success, defensiveness causes you to protect current positions and past achievements.

It’s hard to move in positive directions when you’re in CYA (Cover Your Ass) mode. You spin your wheels while they get ahead.

Defensive postures:

1. Drain creativity.
2. Focus on threats.
3. Include self-justifying language.
4. Undermine others.

Ethical office politics:

Office politics is real; understanding and playing office politics ethically advances careers.

1. Align with real power structures; influence influencers. People with power may not have official authorization. Decision-making seldom follows organizational charts.
2. Avoid offending unofficial leaders.
3. Never violate a confidence.
4. Learn personal agendas.
5. Respect what colleague’s value.
6. Deliver the goods, most importantly. There’s no substitute for performance.
7. Always act with the best interest of the organization in mind.
8. Avoid unnecessary gamesmanship.

Bonus:

Highly political environments – cronyism, favoritism, manipulation – are never cured from the bottom up.

How can leaders navigate office politics?

What strategies have you seen office politicians use?

Facing the Fires of Disagreement, Improvement, and Destructive Criticism

Destructive critics claim the moral high ground but their message is simple, do what I want. They pretend they want what’s best for others while they pursue what’s best for them.

Constructive critics want what’s best for others. In the past, friends told me my New York style sarcasm wasn’t always effective. A friend said, “Your sarcasm makes me uncomfortable.” His point came out on one of my trips to the West Coast a few years ago. It took a while but listening to criticism helped.

Not all criticism helps; some destroys.

Results of listening to destructive critics:

1. Gun shy. You may pull back because stepping out invites criticism.
2. Belligerence. You may plug your ears and close your eyes and aggressively push forward. I’ve chosen belligerence many times.
3. Discouragement. You may hold anger in. Internalized anger always drains and discourages.

Distinguish:

Distinguish between healthy disagreement, improvement, and destructive criticism.

1. Disagreement – while sharing values and vision – is healthy. It usually centers on method and strategy.
2. Accepting improvements is a humility issue. Can you listen to the voice of those who want to make you better?
3. Destructive criticism comes from individuals who don’t share your values. Listen and you lose yourself.

Observations:

1. Love and respect those who disagree with love and respect.
2. Destructive critics grow intolerant. Your “failure” becomes justification for escalating push back.
3. Friends show tolerance even as they point out improvements.
4. Those who pull back from you aren’t committed to you or your vision; those who jump in are.
5. Fearing the voice of critics always distracts focus and drains passion. “If we are spending time and energy focused inwardly, debating incessantly, gossiping, and scheming, then we are certainly not aligned.” Brenner in Share the Sandbox.”
6. Listening to destructive critics pulls you back.
7. Listening to constructive critics propels you forward.
8. Don’t trust those who criticize you behind your back.

How do you distinguish between healthy and unhealthy criticism?

What do you do to handle personal criticism?

When Talent Defeats

Superstars aren’t the answer they’re the problem. Isn’t it thrilling when high performers join your organization? Finally, someone can bring home the bacon like no one else. Wrong!

Superstars who believe they save the day are selfish hogs. Organizations don’t need swine they need strong teams that deliver results together. Individual contributors – superstars – might help for the short-term but eventually they cripple organizations and destroy morale.

High potential:

Real high potentials work well with others; they don’t work in isolation.

Team players are better than individual contributors.

Team players:

1. Develop organizational capacity.
2. Share the spotlight.
3. Sacrifice for the team.
4. Build morale.
5. Have humble spirits.
6. Encourage.
7. Listen.

Dig deep:

Highly talented individuals who work well with others produce results and lift organizations.

Control yourself the next time you interview a super star. Ask, “How well have they played with others?” Perhaps the real job interview should be with team-mates. How well did they work with others?

1. Disagree agreeably?
2. Speak honestly?
3. Work behind the scenes?
4. Contribute to the success of others?
5. Backstab?

It’s easy to find yourself starry-eyed with talented super stars and high potentials. Beware, you need more than talent; you need talented team players.

How do you spot highly talented team players?

What can leaders do to enhance team work?