Addressing the Rotten-Apple-People Problem

Rotten apples – negative, destructive, self-absorbed, unethical employees – pollute organizations.

Furthermore, foul leaders inevitably build stagnant, foul organizations. Worse yet, passive leaders – those who tolerate rotten apples – create rotten environments by default.

Leaders who tolerate rotten apples are rotten themselves.

Facebook contributors discuss: “One bad apple spoils the whole bunch, true or false?” (5/3/13)

Spotting:

You don’t need a study to determine if your culture sucks.

1. People use blind copies in email.
2. Gossips win.
3. Territorial managers stake out and protect turf.
4. Leaders live in ivory towers.
5. Competition is about winners and losers not performance.
6. Getting by is the goal.
7. Smiles and laughs are rare.

Your culture sucks if people don’t love working in it.

Solving:

Organizational culture is simply the way you do things – how people treat each other. Yesterday, a Leadership Freak contributor suggested social contracts. KaPow!

Social contracts say you’re serious
about the way you do things.

Social contract:

We will:

1. Address issues in the smallest context possible. Dirty laundry is kept in the laundry room.
2. Expect you to connect with colleagues and teammates.
3. Take responsibility to improve things we don’t like.
4. Pursue the best interests of all parties, always.
5. Call you out if you let others down.
6. Speak candidly with compassion.
7. Forgive offenses that are acknowledged and addressed.

We won’t:

1. Say one thing to your face and another behind your back.
2. Tolerate posturing and puffing behaviors.
3. Lie, ever.
4. Blow up.
5. Hold grudges.
6. Have secret agendas.
7. Complain without bringing solutions.

Consequences:

Violating our social contract is grounds for warnings, corrective action, and dismissal, if necessary. You might be sent to our, “Be Nice,” class for social delinquents.

Enforcement:

Everyone is authorized to point out violations of social contracts, regardless of position or tenure.

More: Connecting Through Social Contracts.

What would you include in an organizational social contract?

One Question for All Complainers and Critics

Get out of leadership if criticism and complaints keep you up at night. You’ll die from lack of sleep.

The toughest criticism to handle is directed at a team mate or colleague, not you. Some “loving” critic shares a “helpful” suggestion that tears down, points out inadequacy, or undermines credibility.

Complainers, on the other hand, are different from critics. Complainers say, “Your team leader hurt my feelings,” for example. They don’t say it directly but, in the end, complainers aren’t getting what they feel they deserve. They want something for themselves. (They may be on target.)

Critics focus on others. Complainers focus on themselves.

The hardest part of criticisms
and complaints is the 10% that’s right.

First:

Define the win.

Avoid every activity that doesn’t have clearly defined and agreed upon wins. Ambiguous outcomes never satisfy. Watch for that bad taste or rotten smell that saturates winless activities.

All wins always propel
people and organizations forward.

All wins always have
behavioral – visible – expressions. You see them.

Criticisms and complaints spiral downward until progress is defined.

Reject:

Never affirm speculations about bad motives.

Some complainers love explaining the bad motives and intentions of others. Immediately reject hints and innuendos that your colleague intentionally harmed others. The moment you hear, “They did that because (fill in malicious intention),” know you’re dealing with an ass.

Step back and watch a line in the sand appear at the hint a member of my team has malevolent motives.

Human:

Courageously build human environments that make room for imperfection. People have frailties and inadequacies; they screw up.

Progress is a win in human organizations;
perfection a myth.

Close the doors and go home if perfection is the goal.

Question:

Answer criticisms and complaints about colleagues and teammates with,

“How can I help you with this?”

Asking this question:

1. Takes people seriously.
2. Searches for wins.
3. Expresses compassion.
4. Assigns responsibility.

How can leaders respond when they receive complaints or criticisms of teammates or colleagues?

Next week’s best leadership development opportunity is a free conference call with bestselling author, Doug Conant. Join me on March 27 at 1:00 p.m. EST.

Even Whiners Can Lead

Image source by George Hodan

Whiners are potential leaders. But, pessimists can’t lead.

Leader as whiner:

1. Progress could be faster.
2. Quality could be better.
3. Team mates could give more.
4. Organizations aren’t meeting needs.
5. Structures block rather than energize success.

The line between whiner and leader is optimism.

Whiners become leaders when they press through problem finding to problem solving.

The real anchor:

It’s easier for whiners to blame than take responsibility.

Whiners are blamers.
Blamers can’t lead.

The next time you hear yourself whining, take responsibility. Stop complaining about what others aren’t doing. Do something yourself.

Whining identifies potential improvements.

From whining to leading:

1. Talk less. Whiners talk too much and do too little. Talking apart from action centers on problems. Talking during action focuses on solutions. “How can we fix this” is better than “Here’s why it can’t be done.”
2. Solve what you can. Postpone the rest. A whiner who can’t postpone or prioritize is an overwhelmed whiner. Everything’s bad.
3. Feeling powerless is a self-imposed myth. You can always do something. (See: Gifts From an Empty Cup”)
4. Plan for the worst. Contingency plans are a pessimist’s gift.
5. Consistently ask, “What’s next?”
6. Move from “What if?” to “We could.”
7. Listen to optimists. Don’t reject optimists because you believe they don’t see the whole picture. You don’t either.
8. Admit shooting things down isn’t a virtue.
9. Substitute lifting up for drag down. Your negativity makes others negative. Welcome to the dark work environment you created. Ask yourself, “How am I making others feel?”
10. Ask, “Where does whining take me?” When it’s a good place, go with it.

Great leaders whine with optimism.

Leaders do more than point out wrongs. They step toward remedies.

I’m a huge fan of whiners who work toward solutions. Beware of whiners who don’t find solutions. They’re destructive anchors.

What suggestions can you offer leaders who tend to whine?

Recollections of an Empty Cup

It’s the one year anniversary of my accident. I remember rehab.

There’s pain, discouragement, and negativity in every hospital. Alongside darkness, you’ll find hope and healing in the people who work there.

I watched them come to work like most do, kind of blah. But, somewhere between their first cup of coffee and seeing me, they embraced their “calling to serve.” It’s a selfless, breathtaking transformation.

Someone wheeled me to the kitchen where physical therapy patients ate breakfast together. I watched PT and OT professionals graciously make eggs to order, even though food services had provided breakfast. Discouraged patients often complained rather than thanked.

I saw them grumbled at and puked on. I saw one brain-damaged patient aggressively push a therapist against the wall.

Ungratefulness:

Our own pain prevents gratitude. Lack turns to bitterness.

If not pain, competence constricts and arrogance chokes gratitude. We withhold gratitude when our skills excel theirs and they should do better. We aren’t grateful when their devotion falls below ours; we’re better. Their lack stifles our gratitude.

Gratefulness:

1. Finds good, even when things are bad.
2. Appreciates service.
3. Honors those who demonstrate noble values.
4. Celebrates progress.

Expression:

I told the staff they were remarkable. I thanked them as they served. I was an empty cup. I gave them what I had, words.

Small things matter more when big isn’t possible.

When you can’t do something, say something. You are never helpless even when all you do is receive. Empty cups offer attention, appreciation, respect, and honor.

Lessons from rehab:

1. Feeling powerless is a decision.
2. Power is perception. Believe your words matter.
3. Affirm more. Could you affirm more and correct less?

A favorite post written three weeks after the accident, Dec. 10, 2011: The Hidden Power of Weakness.

The original “Gifts From Empty Cups,” written Dec. 13, 2011.

What if you pretended you were an empty cup? How might it impact what you see and say, today?

Overcoming the Downside of Pursuing Excellence

The problem with the pursuit of excellence is there is no done, only better.

Done satisfies. Move on. Yes!

There is no check box in the pursuit of excellence.

The second challenge with the pursuit of excellence is feedback. Excellence demands feedback but feedback begins in the past. Beware, the past sucks in like black holes.

Danger of “should have”:

“Should have” is the language of regret. “You should have…,” puts down.

“Should have” corrects the past; something impossible to do. “We should have…,” belittles past wisdom, effort, and passion.

Should-have-leaders honor critics and, in so doing, create more critics. “You’re right, I should have…,” is an invitation for second-guessers, nay-sayers, and critics. You get what you honor.

Next time:

“Next time” is better than “should have.”

“Next time” honors participants and ignores critics.

Next-time-leaders:

1. Honor effort, learning, and progress.
2. Build platforms for future initiatives.
3. Look to the future more than the past.
4. Instill hope and show confidence.
5. Ask, “What did we learn?”

No “next time”:

Critics judge, they never focus on next time. They don’t add value.

Critics sit on the sidelines, seldom offering useful suggestions. They tear down.

If the best you can do is point out failures in others,
you’re probably failing yourself.

Participants, on the other hand, build the future by offering insightful evaluations coupled with positive suggestions.

Momentum:

“Should have” ties to the past. “Next time” maintains momentum.

Bonus tip:

“What worked” and “What didn’t work” is better than “What went wrong?”.

How does the pursuit of excellence turn negative in organizations?

How can leaders pursue excellence in positive ways?

 

Yippee! It’s Whining Wednesday!

Why haven’t you complained that we haven’t had a complaint day in months?

Give yourself permission to complain. Don’t be chicken. Let it fly! An occasional gripe session cleanses the soul.

Rules:

1. Absolutely NO solutions on Whining Wednesday! Complaint day isn’t fix day.
2. Feel free to remain anonymous. Give yourself a fake ID, if you want.
3. Tell the truth, don’t temper it.
4. Just for today, feel free to blame, but don’t name others.

I posted this whining complaint on May 5, 2010, it still drives me nuts:

It really ticks me off when those going nowhere criticize those working to go somewhere. Who do they think they are? How can they give themselves permission to be arm chair quarterbacks? Honestly, when I listen to the visionless criticize vision; I want to ask:

1. “Where are you going in life?”
2. “What happens to those who listen to you?”
3. “Who are you lifting higher?”

Here’s a couple more complaints:

It really ticks me off when malicious people ask questions with a hidden agenda. Have you had someone ask what seemed to be an honest question only to learn they used your answer against you? Jerks!

I hate it when an honest answer is twisted and given to the boss to make someone look bad. Backstabbing asses!

It really ticks me off that most of what I don’t like in life is in me not others. Damn that stings!

I silently chuckle when someone points out one of my short comings. It wouldn’t be polite to laugh out loud. When they’re done, I think is that the best you got? My list of complaints about me is way longer than yours.

Bonus:

You’ll be nodding your head when you read the awesome complaints folks listed on my Facebook page.

Go ahead. It feels good to let it out. What ticks you off?