A To-Don’t NOT a To-Do

Even four year olds know that being helped isn’t always helpful. Over eager parents, who step in to “help,” often hear frustrated children say, “I’ll do it myself!”

Never help those who can help themselves.

You got up this morning thinking about things to-do. But, leaders think about things to-don’t. Helpfulness lifted you to leadership but the need to help hampers once you’re there.

The need to help may reflect an unhealthy need to be helpful.

Leaders who need to help are short-sighted unhelpful hindrances who need to feel important.

Step out; don’t step in.

Helping isn’t helpful when it weakens, creates dependencies, or takes responsibility from others.

Delay helping when:

1. Ownership is high. Stepping in undermines ownership.
2. Teams are motivated.
3. Delay shows respect. “I trust you.”
4. Acceptable progress is being achieved.
5. Long-term benefits outweigh short-term results.
6. You questions methods and processes, not outcomes.
7. Struggle strengthens.
8. Teams trust you. They know you have their best interests in mind.
9. Failure humbles.
10. Defeat creates learning moments.

Bonus: Stop helping if helping didn’t help last time.

The goal of helping is enabling, not more helping.

Real help takes people to places where they don’t need help. Sometimes, not helping is helpful.

Help when:

1. Teams need an extra hand because conditions changed.
2. Relationships break down. Help the process.
3. Confusion persists. The great role of leaders is creating clarity.
4. Help “with” not “for.”
5. Helping develops skills.

Frustration:

Monitor frustrations. Acceptable levels of frustration intensify focus and motivate change. Don’t help.

Too much frustration generates relational conflict and paralyzes progress. Step in.

Tip:

Stay near; don’t isolate. Not helping isn’t an excuse to stay distant.

Back to the four year old. They’ll ask for help after they’ve tried, failed, and become frustrated. They respect you when you help after they’ve struggled. But, help before they struggle and they despise and reject you.

When is help, unhelpful?

How do you determine when to step in?

When Stepping Up Blows Up

Accepting challenges lifts careers. But, holding on to them destroys. Learn to challenge others as well as challenging yourself.

Raise your hand and say, “I’ll take that on.” New challenges are opportunities. Challenges that lift careers include:

1. Initiatives that impact large segments of organizations. Let others handle departmental challenges. Take on organization-wide opportunities.
2. Projects others hate. If you can’t find an organization-wide initiative, tackle projects others avoid.
3. Assignments that require teams. Individual performance is good; results through teams are better.
4. Community outreach. Head-up giving-back efforts. Philanthropy opens doors. Connect with internal and community leaders.

Accept challenges bigger than yourself. But, share the load or fail. Those good at accepting challenges may be lousy at delegating challenges. Prepare to crash and burn if you can’t share the load.

Delegate – Elevate – Perpetuate

Delegate in ways that elevate performance. Challenge; don’t protect or coddle. Expect team mates to step-up.

Passion to excel motivates you to take on challenges. Career making moments arrive when you feel you’ve taken on too much. Do you pull back and protect or perpetuate success by expecting others to perform?

Stepping up, eventually destroys those who can’t call others to step up.

Has your passion to get ahead or help others caused you to take on too much? Now what?

What suggestions help those good at accepting challenges but weak at giving them?

How Leaders Frustrate Others

Last week, I frustrated someone, again. I thought I learned my lesson but old habits die hard.

There’s always room for improvement, from my point of view. Nothing’s ever done. I’m tempted to add to or modify projects while in progress. It feels great to me. I’m adding value.

Modifying project outcomes, after jobs begin, doesn’t excite people like it excites me. “Could we?” and, “What about?” are great before projects or tasks begin; frustrating after.

Completion is more important than minor improvement.

Don’t modify current tasks, finish them. Modifications confuse and hinder. People start wondering what they’re doing and what you want. They say, “I thought we were…?”

Checking tasks off is better than stopping to tweak them.

Process:

Improve processes, don’t change deliverables. Suggestions that simplify tasks and speed completion are welcomed. Improve oars in the middle of the stream, don’t modify destinations.

Application:

Complete tasks. Arrive before changing direction. Completing tasks is more important than tweaking outcomes. Minor corrections do more damage than good.

Changing:

Know the difference between minor corrections and necessary course adjustment. Jump in quickly to avoid unforeseen rocks or storms, otherwise, hold the course.

Avoid costly mistakes; allow minor imperfections.

Save the day; forget minor adjustments. It’s ticklish to know when to step in. Err on the side of trusting good people.

Context:

This post concerns day-to-day projects and tasks, not strategic goals.

How can leaders add value when projects are in process?

How do you decide to step in or stay out?

The Real Reason Teams Don’t Work

Overwork prevents teamwork.

Imagine the feeling of being close to missing a deadline. At 3:00 p.m. a team mate needs your expertise on their marketing project. Are you eager to serve? Or, are they an irritating pain in the a**?

You’re frustrated because you want to help but feel you can’t.

People who can’t get their own work done can’t help others.

When schedules are maxed out teamwork is out.

Overworked leaders don’t have time to help. They are too busy helping themselves. A corporate leader recently said, “My boss is buried. She doesn’t have time or energy to give me.”

Turf wars not teamwork:

“Overworked staff results in turf wars and office politics,” Andy Stanley at Catalyst. Can you see people jockeying for position? Jockeys aren’t team players.

Helping others help others:

1. Get real with workload or teamwork-talk becomes platitudinous drivel.
2. Reward and recognize helpers. Ask, “Who helped you?” at the end of projects.
3. Honor serving. Ask, “Who are you helping?”
4. Ask, “How are you helping others?” What get’s asked about gets done.

Supporting team work:

From Facebook: Leaders support teamwork when they _______.

1. … don’t try to do everything themselves.
2. … are willing to do the nitty-gritty work with team members.
3. … share opportunities, responsibility, and credit.
4. … affirm others’ strengths.
5. … treat team members as stake holders.

More at: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

What are the roadblocks to teamwork in your organization?

How can leaders support team work?

How to Create High Impact Leadership

Who gets further, those who delegate or those who don’t? Delegate or die. Delegate or stagnate.

If your plate is full and you can’t delegate, look around,
you’ve reached your highest potential.

Delegating is the path to exponential impact, seizing opportunities, flattening organizations, and leadership development.

Why do so many find delegating so difficult?

1. They have more skill than others.
2. Losing control frightens.
3. Needing the limelight.
4. Lack of time.
5. Lack of trust.
6. Tried and failed.
7. Ignorance; they don’t know how.
8. Discomfort with being held accountable for the work of others.

Delegating as development:

Delegating is more than getting something off your place; it’s the path to developing leaders.

If you don’t delegate they don’t grow.

Delegating authority moves people from theory to practice. People learn best when the rubber hits the road, when decisions matter.

Listeners think they know; doers learn they don’t. Real life bursts the bubble of perceived knowledge and opens the door to real learning.

Effective delegation lifts people from followers to leaders.

“Delegating tasks creates followers.
Delegating authority creates leaders.”
Craig Groeschel at The Global Leadership Summit.

How much is too much:

“Delegate almost to the point of abdication.”
Warren Buffet.

The less control you exert the greater engagement you inspire. Are you ultimately responsible? Absolutely. It takes courage, preparation, and planning to use delegation as a development tool.

High potential projects are high growth opportunities. Doing things where failure matters strengthens people.

Bonus tip:

Delegating requires sharing information. Information is power. Sharing information empowers.

How can leaders delegate effectively?

What delegating mistakes should leaders avoid?

Stretched not Crushed

Every time things start going wrong we look to the leader for solutions. Beware! The pressure to provide solutions crushes leaders. When solutions come from the top, organizations crumble from the bottom.

A C-level leader recently said, “When I wake up stressed out over problems in the night, I know I’ve forgotten it’s about the team. Things go better when I include others.”

Stretching others:

Leaders who can’t ask people to do hard things can’t get hard things done. Meaningful contributions require deep commitment and effort. Weak leaders assume others can’t or won’t step up. They rule out before they ask.

Ruling out:

1. That’s too hard for them. Making it easy prevents people from stepping up. Give people the opportunity to do hard things. I’m not suggesting you intentionally make things hard for others.
2. They already contribute so much. Translation, they can’t make meaningful contribution in new areas.
3. They wouldn’t be interested.
4. They’re too valuable where they are. If anyone says that to you, update your resume’.

The big ask:

The big ask is about values before programs. Programs, methods, and techniques are small things when compared with the power of shared values. Align shared values before making the big ask.

It’s the team:

Carrying the load alone crushes;
carrying the load together stretches.

Shared values are magnetic; they pull people together. Success is always about people before it’s about programs and initiatives. People committed to shared values make deep commitments to each other. Connections sustain and energize when things get hard. Blame separates and defeats.

How do you ask others to do hard things?

What should be in place before you ask for deep commitments?

8 Ways to Find Freedom

Freedom ignites passion, imagination, and initiative; control destroys it.  Freedom feeds vitality; control oppresses and limits. Freedom, however, is dangerous.

Freedom is essential because their expertise exceeds yours, in their area. If you know more than everyone on your team, you have a weak team.

Effective leaders set people free.

Finding freedom:

#1. Freedom regarding method not mission. Free environments require mission-clarity between individuals and organizations. Every free environment is mission driven or it’s confused, diluted, and ineffective. Furthermore, all participants must know how personal mission aligns with organizational mission.

#2. Freedom needs the big picture. Silos create enemies. Free people know how their behaviors and performance impacts others. They know how they matter.

#3. Freedom necessitates constant feedback. Freedom without feedback is paranoia. People without feedback develop personal, self-serving agendas. It’s their only option.

#4. Freedom requires information and transparency. Secrets indicate manipulation; transparency creates confidence, responsibility, and accountability. In free environments everyone knows everything they need to know.

#5. Freedom calls for equipping. Don’t bother developing people if you aren’t going to set them free to perform with new skills. Developing people sets them free to serve others.

#6. Freedom requires responsibility or anarchy results.

#7. Freedom thrives on clarity. Confusion ends freedom because it feeds chaos.

#8. Freedom is protected by cross-functional teams. Individuals acting independently destroy organizational freedom. People responsible to others can be set free.

Danger:

Freedom is dangerous. Putting Band-Aids on old systems is futile. Freedom takes time.

How can leaders step toward free organizations?

What hinders free environments?

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Post in a picture by Larry Coppenrath: “Finding Freedom“

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When Working Hard isn’t Working

It doesn’t matter how hard you work if you’re working on the wrong things. Managers, leaders, and business owners are the hardest working people I know. Working in your business is necessary but dangerous.

You work “in” when you do business. Farmers milking cows, accountants accounting, preachers preaching, teachers teaching, and doctors doctoring are all working in their business. Working in is dangerous because it:

1. Captivates attention.
2. Consumes energy.
3. Distracts from a powerful concern – working on your business.

Stuck:

Your passion and ability to focus on getting jobs done blocks you from:

1. Creating or enhancing systems.
2. Defining long term objectives.
3. Identifying, leveraging, and enhancing the strengths on your team
4. Offloading present work so you can focus on the future.

Working IN prevents you from working ON.

Danger:

Get’er done works for the short-term – soon it drains – but, eventually it destroys you and your effectiveness. Constantly working in your business without working on it:

1. Defeats your innovative spirit.
2. Saps vitality
3. Restricts growth.
4. Limits your potential.

Breakthrough to working on:

Evaluate the use of your time. How much is spent working in rather than on? Breakthroughs materialize when you alter dead-end habits.

1. Create a weekly “working on” appointment with yourself. Identify and take a next step.
2. Make small adjustments. You’ll never shift toward working on your business in one giant leap.
3. Find new eyes. Discuss systems, strategies, and vision with experts outside your field.
4. Listen. Many leaders and business owners have too many answers and too few questions.
5. Try something. Waiting for stunning success prevents progress.
6. Delegate more even if it takes longer at first.
7. Follow-up and follow-through. Frustrations inspire conversations regarding improvements but follow-through changes things. Perhaps some form of accountability would help?

How can leaders work on their business or organization?

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Where Men Leaders are Better Than Women

Talking about gender stereotypes is dangerous.

It was interesting and less dangerous to see research indicating women leaders are better than men in specific areas, statistically speaking. See: “It’s Harder for Women than Men”

Where men leaders are better than women is an awkward question. Men dominate top executive roles nine to one. It feels like the gorilla is yelling, “See how strong I am.” It has the feel of putting down and keeping down. Having said that, it stands to reason if women are better than men in some areas, men are better than women in others.

During our conversation titled, “Where women leaders are better than men,” a female reader indicated interest in what people thought men leaders were better at. I got some feedback on my Facebook page, as well.

Men are better at:

1. Being objective.
2. Being brave in large gatherings.
3. Analytical – trust cold logic.
4. Delegating without meddling.
5. Trusting in themselves.
6. Seeing the big picture.

(Unlike the post on women leaders, no research backs up these points. They are feedback from readers.)

Denying differences between men and women degrades, devalues, and obscures unique gifts and abilities. There’s power in diversity.

Danger:

The danger of stereo types is untested assumptions. Some men are great nurturers and some women delegate without meddling. Don’t throw individuals in an assumptions bucket. But, if the stereo type fits, wear it. Don’t belittle it.

Opportunity:

The real opportunity of diversity is leveraging unique strengths, not making everyone the same. Sameness is boring. Sameness dilutes.

Conversation:

I felt it useful to discuss the strengths of women leaders because they are still a minority in top roles. I don’t feel the same interest concerning men. However, I love celebrating womanliness and manliness as long as it’s not at the expense of the other gender.

Thoughts?

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Buffet and Bennis on Delegating

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Mediocre leaders can’t or won’t delegate. Delegating may be the most unglamorous part of leadership.

I woke up this morning with three things on my mind, delegating an important role in the organization I lead, and two Warrens. They all go together.

Warren Buffet on delegation:

1. Hire people and don’t tell them what to do.
2. Let good people set their own standards and direction.
3. Delegate almost to the point of abdication.

Buffets observations feel like a left shoe stuck on the right foot to many leaders and managers. Delegating the Buffet way only makes sense if:

1. People possess character and ability. The reason you can’t delegate is you hired and kept incompetent people or you failed to develop their potential. If you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off, you’ll find an ax in your own hand.
2. Everyone shares unswerving alignment with values, mission, and vision.
3. Information flows freely.

Always accentuate never minimize:

Foolish leaders begin the delegation process by saying stupid things like, “This should be easy for you.” Look for people who rise up to challenges rather than sinking into ease. Tap into their desire to make a difference not simply getting something done.

Warren Bennis wisely said, “Good leaders make people feel that they’re at the very heart of things, not at the periphery. Everyone feels that he or she makes a difference to the success of the organization. When that happens people feel centered and that gives their work meaning.”

Hands on in the right way:

Never meddle. I never liked a meddling boss. I interpreted their involvement as lack of trust. I’ve learned, however, that meddling was usually about them, not me.

Stay involved but don’t meddle. Never withdraw; always fan flames. Find ways to encourage without meddling. Celebrate small wins, for example.

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What have you learned about the challenges and success of delegating?

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