How Peter Drucker Mentored

A life of influence is always a choice never an accident.

Bob Buford, founder of Halftime, was mentored by Peter Drucker for over twenty years. Yesterday, Bob told me the four contributions Drucker made to him as a mentor.

Before:

Before sharing the four contributions, Bob reminded me that Drucker was the consummate question asker. His great strength was his use of the Socratic Method. Successful mentors probe with questions and clarify with restatements.

The Four:

Bob said, Peter Drucker, as a mentor:

1. Gave me permission to be me.
2. Encouraged me along the way.
3. Acknowledged my success.
4. Held me accountable. He expected results.

The first three behaviors seem easier than the last. I asked Bob about holding people accountable.

“Accountability requires a volunteer.”

Holding people accountable:

Voluntary participation is the first essential of accountability. Other suggestions include:

1. Accountability is for them not for you. If accountability is about making your life easier, it’s pressure or coercion. Accountability must be viewed as helpful not hurtful.
2. Agree on behaviors and results. Accountability is a team effort, designed by all involved.
3. Make it simple. Complexity destroys efficiency.
4. Establish structure. Ask, for example, “When will you report your progress?” Set recurring accountability appointments.
5. Create predictability. What happens if you succeed? What happens if you fail?
6. Leverage the law of overflow. Accountability in one area often has positive impact in others. The discipline of getting out of bed may produce positive results in other areas, for example.
7. Stay involved. Let them know you’re on their team, regularly.

People look for and enjoy accountability when they believe in it’s benefit and participate in designing it.

What mentoring strategies work for you?

What factors make accountability effective?

Fuel for the Journey

Leading drains.

Obligations weigh down. Expectations from others deplete. Dissatisfaction with yourself – the worst downer of all – saps energy. Add the problem of critics with personal agendas and you have a vigor-draining vortex.

Neglected obligation:

Your vitality is your responsibility.

1. Think of leading as serving. Serving – being useful to others – energizes. Who doesn’t feel great after being helpful? Tip: Focus energy on people who welcome and respect service.
2. Let, even invite, others to help you. Lone-ranger-leaders die broken and alone. Tip: The need to appear like you have it all together is one reason you’re falling apart.
3. Listen to your energy gauge. Do more things that enhance vitality and fewer that drain.
4. Fuel others by understanding what fills their tank. Successful leaders monitor the energy levels of others. Watch their eyes light up and ask, “What generated so much enthusiasm?” Tip: Feeling understood increases vitality.
5. Be still. Vitality finds you when you’re quiet.

Bonus: Accept people for who they are not who you wish they were.

Personally:

I’m often asked, “How do you write every day? Where do the ideas come from?”

I usually respond,

“I put more in my cup than I pour out.”

I read and discuss leadership every day. Useful leadership books, not only inform, they help me think my own thoughts. All great books help us think our own thoughts. Most of my books have my scribbled notes all through though them.

Every week I have conversations with the world’s leadership experts, scholars, teachers, and authors. A few are selfish self-promoters. The vast majority, however, are generous servants who want to matter by making a difference. They fill my cup.

Related:

“Finding Vitality” – From a conversation with Francis Hesselbein

“Vitality: Collisions between Stability and Instability” – A look at vitality from an organizational point of view

What fuels your vitality?

How do you find vitality when it’s lost?

Fuel your journey by listening to the journey of Stephen M.R. Covey:

How to Bring Out the Best

Bringing out your best is child’s play compared to bringing out their best.

Leaders who bring out the best in others make courage possible. Nothing meaningful happens without courage.

Encourage courage.

Everyone is still unlearning the necessary fear parents taught us. Leaders have the courage to develop courage in others.

Who before what:

Bringing out the best in others begins with “who” not “what.” Know who you’re dealing with, before thinking about what you want them to do. Are they…

Deep or shallow:

Some respond well to being thrown into the deep end. Throw them in. Others prefer the shallow end. They prefer to learn courage gradually.

In either case, successful leaders grow the courage muscles of others.

History:

Bring out the best in others by knowing their past. The past directs the future.

1. How did they responded to new assignments?
2. What have they learned from failure?
3. What motivated them in the past?
4. Who did they mesh with?
5. Who rubbed them the wrong way?

Heart:

Bring out the best by knowing their heart. What are their values and aspirations. Are they working for advancement, for example.

You know what makes you tick.
Leaders know what makes them tick.

How can leaders bring out the best in others?

When Celebrating Demotivates

Teams who don’t celebrate wins don’t appreciate gains, respect progress, or honor effort. But…

Teams who celebrate half-wins end up not winning at all.

I’m a huge fan of celebrating progress. But celebrate too soon, too frequently, or too much, and you end up not finishing.

Think how far you have to go - NOT
how far you’ve come – when projects are half done.

University of Chicago psychologists Minjung Koo and Ayelet Fishbach studied the impact of focusing on how far you’ve come (to-date thinking) versus how far you have to go (to-go thinking)?

To-go thinking motivates finishing.

“Great Finishers force themselves to stay focused on the goal, and never congratulate themselves on a job half-done.” Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson in HBR: How to Become a Great Finisher. I asked Dr. Halvorson about her observation and she told me the story of Mr. 85%.

“I sometimes tell this story about my husband because it drives me crazy – I call him “Mr. 85%” because that’s about how much he does of any project around the house before he stops, pats himself on the back for getting that far, and wanders off to do something else.  He is a little too pleased with himself for doing most of it, and he stops looking at the finish line.” (Shared with permission)

Application:

1. Encourage to-go thinking. The next time you pat someone on the back for progress toward an incomplete goal, end with, “What’s next, or, How long before you’re done.”
2. Ask, “How far do you have to go?”
3. Don’t ask, “How much is done?”
4. Define wins clearly so you know when to celebrate. Life is a journey but projects get done.
5. Celebrate done-jobs.

I love encouraging people for their progress. But, to-go thinking helps people finish strong.

How can leaders motivate teams when projects are half done?

I asked for input on to-date vs. to-go thinking on Facebook. (5/7/2013)

Dr. Halvorson is co-author of the new book, “Focus.”

Six Steps to Energy

Leaders correct too much and affirm too little.

Hold monthly affirmation sessions. Here’s how.

Invite one key player to an affirmation session for the sole purpose of encouragement. Be prepared. You do this so little it may freak them out.

First, clarify mission, vision, and values.

Second, honor their admirable qualities, outstanding service, consistency of character, and growing potential. Explain how they fit in. Say things like, “You’re helping us become who we want to be when you ______.” Be specific.

Third, ask how things are going in their area.

Fourth, say how can we help.

Fifth, discuss their future direction within the organization and beyond.

Finally, hand them a thank card with hand-written notes from each member of the team.

Do not offer suggestions or improvements.

The only time improvement enters the conversation is when the leadership team asks, “How can we help?” At that time, any discussion of improvement focuses on the organization and the leadership team, not on the person being affirmed.

It takes about an hour to affirm a key organizational player. It may sound a little like sitting in a circle and singing kumbaya but it’s the best hour of the day. It does as much for you as for them.

How are you affirming people?

From Tantrums to Leadership

Image source by by Piotr Siedlecki

Weak, fearful leaders are like unrully two year olds. They create messes and throw tantrums. Undeveloped, incompetent leaders are “takers” who believe followers exist to serve them

Weak leaders take:

1. Control. All micro-managers are fearful.
2. Power. Weak leaders fill their need for power by dis-empowering others.
3. Energy. Immature leaders suck energy rather than give it.

Danger:

Six foot, two hundred pound, two year olds are dangerous, destructive, and deadly. Imagine a full grown adult kicking and screaming like an angry toddler. Scary!

Your inner two year old:

When you’re stressed, insecure or exhausted, you’re inner two year old screams to get out. He cries, “Pay attention to me.” Wise leaders listen to their needy, selfish, inner two year old.

Never ignore a screaming two year old.

Screaming two year olds have unmet needs. It’s not pretty but scream gets the job done.

Feeding:

Unfed two year olds get grumpy. Nurture the “little person” inside before the little brat destroys you and others. Never ignore an agitated inner two year old. 

Ignored needs grow.

Constant giving creates empty cups. Take care of you so you can take care of others.

Rockabye baby:

1. Turn off electronic devices.
2. Let go of something.
3. Share inner secrets with someone you trust.
4. Walk with a friend.
5. Hold hands. Better yet, hug.
6. Read a book for pleasure.
7. Do what you want to do.
8. Say, “No.”
9. Write an “I’m thankful for _____.” list.
10. Take a nap.
11. Pray.
12. Complete several small tasks.

Exhausted leaders are fearful leaders. Vince Lombardi said, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” Re-energize you in order to energize them.

Recharge before you become totally dischared.

You aren’t the energizer bunny.

When do you know it’s time to re-charge?

How do you re-charge your batteries?

 

Stop Browbeating – Enhance Capacity

I browbeat people when I “know” the path forward. I tell them what I want, before thinking about what they need to hear.

Additionally, I pressure people when I’ve made up my mind. At least that’s what others tell me.

Honestly, I don’t see Browbeating Dan. I see myself as Pussy Cat Dan.

Burden of knowledge:

The burden of knowing – even if you don’t – is nearly uncontainable. Thinking you “know” is enough to close your ears and open your mouth.

Alternative:

Slow down and say what they need to hear not what you need to say. Help people hear by enhancing capacity.

Give:

1. Hope if you expect boldness.
2. Purpose if you expect endurance.
3. Confidence if you expect change.

Boldness:

You need to say, “Be bold.” They need to have hope. Hope precedes boldness. If they don’t believe projects can be completed on time or goals completed within budget, they won’t act boldly.

Boldness rises when success is likely.

Those with hope believe wins are possible. It’s hopeless if you can’t win. Without hope everyone goes through the motions. But, people with hope move forward.

Hope fuels boldness.

Endurance:

You need to say, “Keep going – endure – don’t quit.” But, they need purpose. They ask, “Why keep going if it doesn’t matter?” “What’s the purpose?”

People endure when goals matter. Stop saying, “Endure.” Start explaining purpose.

Profound purpose fuels endurance.

Change:

You need to say, “Embrace change.” They need confidence they’ll fit in after change.

Freedom to change comes from believing you’ll still fit in.

Rush:

Leaders rush to explain what to do, while neglecting the capacity of listeners. You think, just do what I say! But, telling babies to walk doesn’t enable walking. Leadership by proclamation isn’t leading.

Capacity:

Successful leaders explain challenges and increase capacity.

How do you understand the relationship between capacity and the ability to accept challenges?

How can leaders enhance the capacity of others to rise to challenges?

Imagine how boundaries extend results. This weeks best FREE leadership development opportunity is a LIVE conference call with bestselling author Dr. Henry Cloud. INFO

Success is Harder than Failure

This post began as an email. It’s my response to a person who shared their mixed feelings regarding unexpected success and opportunity.

***

I’ve been thinking about our conversation regarding the problem of success and opportunity.

Those who succeed in unexpected ways know that success is harder than failure. We are excited with opportunities but they also feel uncomfortable, like new shoes. We should feel more gratitude and less anxiety.

When views were in the hundreds, writing Leadership Freak was easier. Today, with views in the millions, writing Leadership Freak feels a bit like new shoes. Additionally, opportunities come my way that exceed my expectations.

Yesterday, the leader of a 2 billion dollar government agency shook my hand and said, “I’m a huge fan.” It felt great. I also felt like hiding under the table.

Trust:

Someone told me, when Leadership Freak started taking off, “Trust Yourself.” This morning, I share that with you. Trust yourself.

Know:

Don’t get lost in opportunites. Know yourself. Take time to reflect on who you are. Let who you are guide what you do.

Bring:

Bring yourself to challenges and opportunities. Don’t bring someone else. Just bring you. If you want stress, try being someone else.

Story:

The classic story of David and Goliath has important lessons for leaders who face challenges and opportunities. (I don’t care if you think the story is fiction or fact. The lessons relate.)

David, a young shepherd, saw the challenge, Goliath. Those around him tried to tell him how to face the challenge.

They said, “Put on armor; use this sword.” They wanted him to do it their way, even though they were unwilling to face the challenge themselves.

Ultimately David faced the challenge his way, with a sling and a stone. He brought himself.

Trust Yourself

Bring Yourself

Be Yourself 

I’m a man of faith so my personal lists begins, Trust God. Regardless of your faith, my suggests remain.

How can leaders face the challenges of unexpected success and opportunity?

Last chance to register:

Another way to face opportunities is develop yourself. Today’s best FREE leadership development opportunity is a LIVE conference call at 1:00 p.m. EST with the former CEO of Campbell Soup Co.

Don’t miss it!

Why, “Do More with Less,” is Stupid

“Do more with less,” demotivates employees. It’s code for work harder. If they’re already working hard, they think,

“The more I give the more they want. I’m giving less.”

“Do more with less,” disengages and demotivates those giving most.

Those hurt most by, “Do more with less,”
are the ones doing most.

Alternatives to, “Do more with less,” include …

Asking:

1. How does management hinder you? Managers and leaders don’t ask this because they don’t want to know. Perhaps, that’s central to the problem of poor performance?
2. What’s important today? If the answer centers on tasks rather than mission, everyone missed the point. Mission connects people. Tasks isolate; they’re often completed alone.
3. How could you be better equipped to do what’s important?
4. How can we end meaningless activities that steal your time?
5. Who on our team loves doing what you hate?
6. How can we prevent interruptions? Research consistently shows the value of spending blocks of time focused on priority tasks. Multitasking doesn’t work.
7. When someone supports you, what are they doing?

Giving:

1. Attention to suggestions. Say, “Let’s try that,” instead of, “We can’t.” This point follows the seven questions listed above.
2. More clarity on the big picture and less instruction on how to get there.
3. Daily feedback.
4. Praise, honor, and recognition.

Don’t lower standards – raise support.

If you expect more from people, pour more into them.

How can leaders stop hindering performance?

What increases your performance?

This week’s best opportunity for leadership development is the FREE conference call this Wednesday at 1 p.m. EST.

8 Secrets to Eliminating Negativity

One bad experience outweighs one good. A gallon of bad weighs more than a gallon of good.

Setbacks nag; success whispers.

You overemphasize what went wrong and minimize what went right. Down is easier than up.

Small setbacks increase frustration
more than small successes enhance satisfaction.

One negative defeats one positive. It’s worse! One negative defeats two positives. It takes three positives to off-set one negative. It takes 2.9013 gallons of positive to sweeten one gallon of negative.*

One gallon of positive won’t sweeten one gallon of negative.

Now you know why negative environments are easy.

Boats with holes:

There’s a hole in your boat. Bad experiences gush in; good experiences jump ship.

Find the good before the bad sinks you.

Thank more. Cheer more. Pat on the back more, much more.

Plugging holes:

When boats are sinking you can bail like hell or plug the damn hole! Preventing one bad creates more buoyancy than appreciating one good because bad outweighs good.

Do more good by eliminating one bad.

1. Eliminate negative employees.
2. Remove obstacles. Organizations create hoops, sign offs, and regulations that make work harder. Ask, “What’s slowing you down?” When you find out, remove it or smooth the way.
3. Stop belittling. Work that isn’t valued isn’t meaningful.
4. End frustrations. Explore frustrations with employees, don’t ignore them, end them.

Throw out bad – good comes back.

Still more:

1. Focus on progress constantly. You’re falling behind if you don’t. Better wins.
2. Transform setbacks into progress by making them learning events.
3. Respect. Welcome ideas, for example. Don’t dismiss suggestions, explore them. Off handed rejection belittles.
4. Agree on outcomes then let go. Freedom energizes; control drains.

The pursuit of excellence is fueled by positive environments.

Positive environments aren’t accidents, leaders build them.

Eliminate bad.

Shout the good.

Whisper correction.

* Research on the bad outweighs good.

How can leaders counteract the pull of negative gravity?

This weeks best FREE opportunity for leadership development: