The 5 Positive Powers of Self-Doubt

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If you grapple with self-doubt, keep reading. If you don’t grapple with it, you’re dangerous.

Experts sing, “Believe in yourself,” However, unquestioned self-belief produces self-serving leaders who won’t adapt.

Tom Petty captures the experience of many in, “Saving Grace,” when he sings, “You’re confident but not really sure.”

Confident but not sure is better than blind belief.

Self-doubt has its benefits. Robert Sutton in, Good Boss Bad Boss, says, “The best bosses dance on the edge of overconfidence, but a healthy dose of self-doubt and humility saves them from turning arrogant and pigheaded. Bosses who fail to strike this balance are incompetent, dangerous to follow, and downright demeaning.”

Move forward in spite of doubt.
Worry if you’re not worried.

Believe in yourself enough to bring self-doubt with you into decisions and commitments. “The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it’s not without doubt but in spite of doubt,” Rollo May.

Fear of making mistakes is healthy when it raises intensity, motivates preparation, and inspires vigilance. It’s unhealthy when it paralyzes you.

Press into doubt with deadlines.
An effective deadline is a mini-crisis.

Give yourself reasonable time to explore options and then pull the trigger. “When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand,” Raymond Chandler.

Focus more on the process – what’s next – and less on final outcomes.

The 5 positive powers of healthy self-doubt:

1. Motivates preparation. Useful self-doubt doesn’t paralyze it motivates.
2. Humbles the heart.
3. Opens the mind.
4. Invites others in.
5. Builds confidence in others. You’re trustworthy if challenges give you pause.

Why are those who sing the song of self-belief so popular? Because everyone has self-doubt. Don’t lose it, use it.

How can leaders use self-doubt as a tool rather than an obstacle to their leadership?

When has self-doubt gone too far?

7 Powerful Ways to Clear Your Path to Success

It’s easy to point out mistakes and problems. Offering solutions is another matter.

A Leadership Freak contributor writes on yesterday’s article, “I was hoping for the “how not to make these mistakes” version of “The Top Mistake of Team-Leaders.” Any tips regarding how to curtail the mistakes on that list?

In other words, don’t just point out mistakes. Bring positive value.

Success based on avoiding:

To be fair, sometimes just knowing, naming, and avoiding mistakes enables success.

Marshall Goldsmith pointed out that leadership success may be achieved by stopping behaviors that aren’t working while maximizing positive behaviors that already exist. (What Got You Here Won’t Get You There)

When negative behaviors obscure the benefit
you provide, stopping them may be enough.

When avoiding isn’t enough:

If you don’t provide positive benefits,
avoiding negative behaviors won’t help.

Bring positive benefit:

1. Find your positive value and consistently, passionately bring it.
2. Stop diluting your value by being all things to all people. Trying to be all things to all people makes you nothing to most.
3. Deliverables and products are important but the needs you meet demonstrate your real value. How is life around you better because you are there? Make life better for others.
4. Say no so you can say yes. Not everyone values the value you bring. Focus on those who do.

Clearing the path to success:

Trying not to fail won’t create success; sometimes you should fail more. However, diminishing the likelihood of mistakes helps maximize the likelihood of success:

1. Test as you go.
2. “Be quick but don’t hurry.” Coach Wooden.
3. Establish procedures.
4. Search for root causes.
5. “Begin with the end in mind.” Covey.
6. Demand clarity. Few things are more powerful.
7. Collaborate.

More on Facebook.

Even more on Success:

Top 15 Strategies for Leadership Success

16 Things Successful Leaders Never Do

What strategies or behaviors make success more likely?

The Top 5 Mistakes of Unsuccessful Leaders

Mistakes that don’t hurt don’t matter. The worst mistakes are the ones that hurt others. The trouble with leadership is your mistakes always hurt others.

The top 5 mistakes of unsuccessful leaders:

1. Not being open to criticism.
2. Trying to hide mistakes.
3. Not making decisions.
4. Failing to explain objectives.
5. Telling people how to do things rather than telling them what needs to be done and letting them figure out how to do it.

Read more from Facebook contributors.

Good and bad:

Someone said,

“If you don’t make mistakes
you don’t make anything.”

In other words, the fear of making mistakes hinders, delays, even stops forward movement.

The best mistakes are learning
experience that aren’t repeated.

The top 5 positive behaviors of great mistake-makers:

1. Exploration. Good mistake-makers innovate; poor ones repeat and stagnate.
2. Learning and adapting quickly.
3. Enjoyment. Those who can’t learn and adapt can’t enjoy life.
4. Clear perception. Willingness to make mistakes frees leaders from pretending everything’s ok. They see things as they are not as they wish them to be.
5. Increasing efficiency and effectiveness as time passes.

Bonus: Humility; the behavior that makes all others effective.

The top mistake of team-leaders:

Weinzimmer and McConoughey say, “…drama mismanagement derails a leader’s ability to manage teams.” (The Wisdom of Failure)

According to Weinzimmer and McConoughey leaders contribute to overly dramatic atmospheres when they create dysfunctional harmony by:

1. Bullying with intimidating tactics or demeaning comments.
2. Trying to be liked by everyone.
3. Insisting everyone likes each other all the time. The need to preserve the appearance of harmony leads to passive-aggressive behaviors within teams.
4. Mismanaging competition within teams that leads to divisiveness.

Even more on mistakes:

The Top 25 Dumb Mistakes Leaders Make

Top Three Mistakes Leaders Make

13 New-Leader Screw Ups

What lessons have you learned from your mistakes?

Specifically, how do leaders inflate drama in the workplace. How can they deflate it?

So You Screwed Up …

Few things change us more than mistakes. Sadly, mistakes make people feel dumb, even though they are the path to wisdom.

Not making mistakes is worse than making them.

Sometimes the best way to
move forward is looking back.

Rather than ignoring mistakes, relive them.

I asked, Irv Rothman, CEO of Hewlett-Packard Financial Services, about making mistakes. He said, “We lost a big account last year.” Irv explained how he sat down with the team who lost the account and went back through the decision-making process looking for things they could have done differently.

Learning from mistakes means:

1. Reliving them.
2. Uncovering shortfalls.
3. Determining alternatives.
4. Moving forward.

10 Reasons mistakes happen:

1. Please others while ignoring your gut.
2. Confusing instructions.
3. Listening to the wrong people. Listen to those with experience. Additionally: Listen to those who have power to reward, punish, and make decisions.
4. The “wrong” people are assigned to teams and tasks.
5. Quick reactions.
6. People are tired, overworked, or over-stressed.
7. Acting on your own without seek advice.
8. Confidence surpasses competence – arrogance.
9. Rushing.
10. Lack of training.

See more reasons on Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

Warning:

It’s one thing to accept that mistakes happen. It’s another to suggest they don’t matter. Repeating the same mistake over and over is a mistake.

7 more ways to learn from mistakes:

1. Own them. “I screwed up,” takes you further than, “It’s your fault.”
2. Publicly declare them. Hiding mistakes inspires self-protective cultures. Declaring, even celebrating mistakes, instills confidence. Top leadership must lead the way when it comes to publicly declaring mistakes.
3. Determine causes.
4. Reject defensiveness. Amy Jones
5. Create alternatives.
6. Teach others what you wish you would have done. Marlene Chism
7. Learn from the mistakes of others. David Frick

See more ideas on Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

Recommended reading: “Out Executing the Competition” by Irv Rothman

What mistake-making advice can you add?

What whoppers have you learned from?

How to Get What You Want

It takes conviction, candor, and, most importantly, courage to push against the boss or the board.

Managers who can’t stand up and push back are inevitably pushed around and down.

Yesterday, I talked with the President and CEO of Hewlett-Packard Financial Services, Irv Rothman. He leads 1,500 employees in over 50 countries. His book, “Out-Executing the Competition” gave me the impression he was a great collaborator.

More than that, he’s great at standing up, pushing forward, and pushing back.

Getting what you want:

I asked Irv, “So, why is it that you are so successful at getting people to do what you want them to do?” He chuckled, paused, and said,

“ I’ve never been afraid to fail.”

Courage is the fuel that moves you and your organization forward. Fear is the snare that pulls you down and holds you back.

“Playing safe is probably the most unsafe thing in the world.
You cannot stand still. You must go forward.” Robert Collier

Roots of courage:

Courage is not a product of wishful thinking. It’s the result of careful preparation. Irv said, “If you want to be successful you have to be rational but you can’t be afraid to fail. The rational part of courage is preparation, testing assumptions, and proving your case.

“Present your case in a non-emotional, rational way.”

Who wins:

Irv continued by explaining that it’s not enough to make a rational argument. You have to get them excited by, “Showing them what’s in it for them.

“If you don’t manage up you get managed down.”

Bonus:

Before we left the topic, Irv added, “You have to be a consistent guy from the stand point of your behavior.” And finally he said,

“You have to give respect to get respect.”

*****

All profits from, “Out-Executing the Competition” go to: Room to Read.

See how Facebook contributors push back: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop

Hear 2.5 minutes of my conversation with Irv Rothman:
Getting What you Want

*****

How can managers and leaders manage up?

6 Ways Successful Leaders Think

Only fools plan to fail. Leaders always plan to succeed.

Working on plans is working to anticipate
and nullify reasons for failure.

But, failure happens in spite of plans. There’s more to success than hard work.

The uncomfortable truth is sincere, smart,
hardworking people fail all the time.

Success demands hard work and right thinking.

Learning from failure helps you think right.

Lessons from failure:

Alan Wurtzel, former CEO of Circuit City, spent three years exploring the rise and fall of his company. He offers twelve habits of mind – ways of thinking – as a result. Read them in his new book, “Good to Great to Gone.”

Wurtzel writes: “Habits of Mind are not situation-specific, but ways of thinking about one’s organization in relation to the world in which it exists.” He brings inward thinking together with outward thinking. One without the other is unbalanced foolishness.

Right thinking makes hard work effective.

6 Habits of Mind:

1. Be Humble; Run Scared. Constantly doubt your understanding of things. Say, “I may not be right.”
2. Curiosity Sustains the Cat: Answers end curiosity. Keep curiosity alive by saying, “That’s a great answer are there other options?”
3. Confront the Brutal Facts: If you don’t confront the brutal facts now, they’ll confront you later.
4. Boldly Follow Through: Big ideas require bold leadership and attract loyal followers.
5. Mind the Culture: Create a caring and ethical culture where employees can make mistakes without fear of adverse consequences.
6. Encourage Debate: Encourage and learn from dissent.

There are six more Habits of Mind listed in Wurtzel’s book, “Good to Great to Gone.” Each chapter ends with habits of mind that apply to the rise or fall of Circuit City.

I’m thankful for the conversation I had with Alan and recommend his book.

Which of these habits of mind are your favorites? Why?

What other habits of mind help leaders and organizations succeed?

The “But” of Leadership

*****

Success is harder to handle than failure.

Yesterday, I reconnected with the Chief Security Officer at Microsoft, Michael Howard. I’m freakishly interested in leadership so I asked him about his own leadership journey. He said, “Things are going smoothly.”

I wondered how he was handling smooth sailing. He said, “We don’t want to get comfortable.”

“It’s good to have a battle, it gives you a goal.”
Mike Howard

The “but” of success:

“We’re doing great but we’re not there yet.” Mike said,

“Be proud of success, BUT…”

Too much “not there yet” and you discourage the team. Too much celebrating success and everyone thinks you’ve arrived.

Creating the but:

The two-sided challenge of leadership is dissatisfaction during success and honoring progress when you fall short.

Mike brought up the term, “paranoid.”

During a workshop in New York City, Jim Collins said, “Hi performing leaders are “paranoid performers.” They’re always asking, ‘What if,’ and then preparing for it. They think about and anticipate the day of ‘bad things.’”

Mike said, “We’re asking ourselves, ‘What haven’t we thought of?’”

Positive environments:

Positive work environments are never an accident. They’re created by leaders who think and act with positivity.

Constant “buts” discourage. “We did great, but there’s more to do.”

The function of success is not comfort but fire.

Give it a break. Bring up your “but” tomorrow.

Don’t let your “but” diminish your success.

If you’re always saying “but” after forward movement, you’re a dark cloud, dissatisfied downer. You’re a dripping faucet. You discourage. You don’t motivate.

Help everyone enjoy hard earned successes; enjoy them yourself.

Pick your “buts” carefully.

Tension:

I’m not suggesting Mike is constantly saying, “but.” However, when things are going well successful leaders always think what’s next; they always press forward.

Connect with Mike on twitter: @MikeHowardMSG

See the Facebook conversation: Success can be more challenging than failure because ______.

How do you navigate the tension between celebrating success and the need to reach higher?

10 Reasons Leaders Fail, Plus One

“The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow.” William Pollard

10 reasons leaders fail:

1. Stop learning.
2. Don’t build the team.
3. Can’t collaborate.
4. Won’t adapt.
5. Won’t delegate.
6. Assume.
7. Blame.
8. Lack focus.
9. Don’t communicate.
10. Don’t plan.

Adapted from contributions on Facebook (10/16/12). See more.

Learning from failure:

I talked with Alan Wurtzel, former CEO of the now defunct Circuit City Stores, Inc., yesterday. (From more than 500 stores and 10 billion in sales to nothing.) He’s also the son of the founder, Sam Wurtzel.

Jim Collins chose Circuit City Stores, Inc. as a “great” company in, “Good to Great.” What happened?

Alan’s book, “Good to Great to Gone,” is his personal journey to make sense of what went wrong. Its part history, part explanation, and most importantly, filled with powerful leadership lessons. I loved reading it.

Plus one:

Arrogance is the main reason leaders fail.

You could say there are many reasons leaders fail. I’ll say arrogance is behind most. How many of the 10 reasons listed above are expressions of arrogance?

Circuit City thrived when its leadership acted humbly and died because of pride. Wurtzel didn’t say that, I am. You might suggest they failed to adapt. I’ll say pride prevents leaders from adapting. Arrogance destroys.

Four Symptoms of leadership arrogance:

1. Focusing on short-term success.
2. Over concern about the opinion of others. Arrogant leaders are controlled by public opinion. Fear, not confidence, drives arrogant leaders.
3. Unwillingness to admit mistakes; lying to save face.
4. Blaming rather than taking responsibility.

Five powerful words from Wurtzel:

“I may not be right.”

Wurtzel’s five simple words answer arrogance. The greatest power of humility is it makes room for doubt. The most deadly power of pride is it prevents it.

How can leaders address the challenge of arrogance?

How have you seen arrogance hurt organizations and leaders?

How a Director at P&G Turned Failure to Success

Dissatisfaction indicates potential if you’re willing to adapt, grow, and learn. Apart from adapting, dissatisfaction is the path to paralyzing despair.

Failure works when it changes us for the better.

Paul Smith, author of, Lead with a Story, felt like a failure after giving his first presentation to then CEO of Procter & Gamble, A.G. Lafley. Interestingly, the Global Executive Leadership Council that Lafley led adopted his recommendations. But, he still left feeling he failed. Why?

Paul arrived early to set up. When Lafley arrived, he walked around the room greeting Council members and finally sat with his back to the screen. Ugh!

While Paul presented, Lafley never looked at the screen, not once for 20 minutes. It freaks me out just thinking about it. That’s why Paul felt he failed. What was missing?

Everyone loves a great storyteller.

Paul concluded that Lafley was looking, “… to engage someone in dialogue… to share a brilliant idea… to ask for his help. In short, for someone to tell him a story.”

During our conversation Paul said, twenty years later, he’s a better leader because he’s a better storyteller.

“The ability to tell stories makes leaders more influential.”
Paul Smith

Paul says stories have:

1. Context.
2. Action.
3. Result.

Context includes important questions like:

1. What does the main character want?
2. Who or what is getting in the way?

Paul believes storytelling is one reason for his career success at P&G. His book shows readers how to use stories to, energize, educate, empower, and more.

One thing is certain. He transformed failure to competence.

What failure have you transformed into competence?

What makes a story great?

More: The Untapped Secret of Leadership Success

Paul Smith is director of Consumer Research & Communication at Procter & Gamble

Follow Paul on twitter: @LeadWithAStory

16 Things Successful Leaders Never Do

Not doing is one side of finding success.

1. Never let the bottom line be the bottom line.
2. Never pretend things are ok when they aren’t.
3. Never let what you’ve never done be the reason not to try.
4. Never get ahead by resenting those who get ahead.
5. Never let those who aren’t doing something prevent you for doing something.
6. Never do on the road what you wouldn’t do at home.
7. Never trust anyone who never admits mistakes.
8. Never achieve greatness through negativity.
9. Never pretend you can do what you can’t.
10. Never let others fail before doing everything appropriate to help them succeed.
11. “An executive has never suffered because his subordinates were strong and effective.” Peter Drucker
12. Never find wisdom in excuses, defensiveness, or blame.
13. Never think loyalty is a gift.
14. Never waffle when it comes to taking responsibility.
15. Never waver when it comes to giving credit.
16. Never make excuses. “Never make excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your foes won’t believe them.” JohnWooden

Bonus: Never create the future by recreating the past.

What should leaders never do?

Which of these is most important to you?