Evil Easter Bunny

The grandchildren visited last weekend. It was Easter. We bought chocolate eggs, bunnies, carrots, and even six pounds of gummy bears. (We have gummy bears for their next visit!)

What’s Easter without an Easter Egg Hunt?

Hiding candy is fun for grandparents; finding candy is even more fun for grandchildren. Watching it being found is best of all.

Stash on the “butter bed:”

During the hunt, they stashed “found” candy on the “butter bed.” They ran back and forth seeking, giggling, and stashing. (“Butter bed” is the name I gave our king size PosturePedic® bed. It feels like settling into firm butter when you lay down. The kids laughed the first few times I said it, but “butter bed” stuck. It’s a treat for them to sleep in it.)

Evil Easter Bunny:

I stood in the hall, looking into an empty room and yelled, “I see some candy you missed!” They’d come running like a stampede of hungry candy goblins. While they were distracted, I sneaked to the “butter bed,” stole candy from their stash, and re-hid it in another room.

I’d stand in the hall, again, looking into another room and yell, “I see some candy you missed!”

What’s more fun than watching grandchildren hunt for hidden candy? Hiding it again and watching them find it a second or third time of course.

Confession:

Confusion started rising after they found candy where the’d just found candy. I couldn’t hold back any longer and finally told them I was taking their candy and re-hiding it. They looked confused for a bit, and then it hit them. They laughed and said, “Oh! Poppi.”

Leadership:

Remember goals; enjoy the journey.

How do you balance your need to achieve with enjoying the journey?

Stop Browbeating – Enhance Capacity

I browbeat people when I “know” the path forward. I tell them what I want, before thinking about what they need to hear.

Additionally, I pressure people when I’ve made up my mind. At least that’s what others tell me.

Honestly, I don’t see Browbeating Dan. I see myself as Pussy Cat Dan.

Burden of knowledge:

The burden of knowing – even if you don’t – is nearly uncontainable. Thinking you “know” is enough to close your ears and open your mouth.

Alternative:

Slow down and say what they need to hear not what you need to say. Help people hear by enhancing capacity.

Give:

1. Hope if you expect boldness.
2. Purpose if you expect endurance.
3. Confidence if you expect change.

Boldness:

You need to say, “Be bold.” They need to have hope. Hope precedes boldness. If they don’t believe projects can be completed on time or goals completed within budget, they won’t act boldly.

Boldness rises when success is likely.

Those with hope believe wins are possible. It’s hopeless if you can’t win. Without hope everyone goes through the motions. But, people with hope move forward.

Hope fuels boldness.

Endurance:

You need to say, “Keep going – endure – don’t quit.” But, they need purpose. They ask, “Why keep going if it doesn’t matter?” “What’s the purpose?”

People endure when goals matter. Stop saying, “Endure.” Start explaining purpose.

Profound purpose fuels endurance.

Change:

You need to say, “Embrace change.” They need confidence they’ll fit in after change.

Freedom to change comes from believing you’ll still fit in.

Rush:

Leaders rush to explain what to do, while neglecting the capacity of listeners. You think, just do what I say! But, telling babies to walk doesn’t enable walking. Leadership by proclamation isn’t leading.

Capacity:

Successful leaders explain challenges and increase capacity.

How do you understand the relationship between capacity and the ability to accept challenges?

How can leaders enhance the capacity of others to rise to challenges?

Imagine how boundaries extend results. This weeks best FREE leadership development opportunity is a LIVE conference call with bestselling author Dr. Henry Cloud. INFO

I Hate Manipulators

The issue isn’t what you want. All leaders want the same thing, results. You can’t lead until you define desired results.

Results drive everything leaders do.

In the tension between getting results and building relationships, results take priority. Results are the goal. Relationships are the method.

Once you determine results, focus on relationships.

Relationships produce results.

Awkward:

Relationships seem manipulative if results are the goal.

I hate being around people who are always looking for an angle. I find them small and offensive. I smell their stink within the first few sentences out of their mouths. When my “manipulator radar” goes off, my guard goes up. Manipulators:

1. Size you up.
2. Ask, “What’s in it for me.”
3. Hide true intentions.

I feel like I have to protect myself from manipulators.

Balancing results and relationship:

1. Be transparent. Declare yourself and see if they reciprocate. Relationships include reciprocity.
2. “It’s just business,” is an excuse to violate a relationship. Never say it. Never believe it.
3. Embrace the genius of “and.” Develop relationships and pursue results.

I want to build relationships with those around me for two reasons. First, I genuinely want to know people. But there’s something more. I want to know you so I can enhance results. If I know you I can:

1. Help you leverage your strengths.
2. Find ways for you to connect and fit in.
3. Give my talents, skills, and perspective to you in ways that make sense to you.

The line between manipulation and relationship is intention.

Manipulators seek their own best interests while pretending they seek yours. Your success threatens them. Relationship based leaders seek your best interests. Your success invigorates them.

Relationship based leaders aggressively seek results and sincerely build relationships.

How do you balance the tension between relationship and results?

Next week’s best free opportunity to develop your leadership is a FREE – Live conference call with bestselling author, Dr. Henry Cloud. Dr. Henry Cloud: Set Boundaries – Extend Results, on April 3 at 1:00 p.m. ET. INFO

How to Become a Future-Maker

Make the future or it makes you. Stop reacting; start creating.

Urgency dominates where plans lack.

Yesterday’s future arrived today. Successful leaders plan. Planners make the future.

Planners live like tomorrow is today.

If you knew financial decline was in your future would you save money today?

“Planning is about preparing for the future, not predicting it.” Bill McBean

Planners see patterns.

Every spring the same thing happens in Pennsylvania. The whole State gets grumpy because we’re fed up with winter. Life is harder; tension easier. Organizational leaders should anticipate more conflict and stress.

If “grumpy” happens every spring it’s a pattern. Don’t react, plan.

Planners gather facts.

“Build factual foundations for decision making. For example:

1. What happened in the Market today?
2. What are the historical trends?
3. How large is the market?
4. Who are the major players?
5. Who are the winners and loser?”

Adapted from, “The Facts of Business Life,” by Bill McBean.

Planners look back and around, then anticipate the future.

Planners paint the future.

Leaders live with the future in mind by acting like tomorrow is today.

All successful leaders create the future now.

Plans are paths to the future.

Leaders without plans are dynamic wanderers.

Drucker said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

8 Elements of successful future-making:

1. Destination or vision.
2. Mission statement. Describe purpose and conduct (values).
3. Goals. Explain expectations.
4. Analysis. Describe the present. (Both internal and external).
5. Strategies. Activities aligned with 1 through 4.
6. Objectives. Plans that are exact, measurable, have short timelines, and provide accountability.
7. Summary and communication. Share plans.
8. Implementation.
9. Review and revise. Keep goals in sight.

Adapted from: “The Facts of Business Life.”

What attitudes, skills, and behaviors enable future-making?

Next week’s best FREE leadership development opportunity. Join me for a conference call with Dr. Henry Cloud: Set Boundaries – Extend Results, on April 3 at 1:00 p.m. ET. INFO

Bringing Hands-Off and Hands-On Together

I lead with a hands-on type leader.  I’m a hands-off.  He’s a, “get things done type,” I’m a, “go with it type.” I thrive in ambiguity; too much frustrates him.

The other day, he said, “If we do it your way, nothing will happen.” We’ve been together so many years we can say things like that. I’ve been mulling it over.

Danger:

Too much hands-off creates feelings of abandonment. Too much hands-on becomes hand holding. In either case, expect de-motivation.

Bringing hands-on and hands-off together:

Development is more important to me than getting something done. I’m ok with slower if people are growing. My colleague says, “Let’s get something done.” Here are some questions we can ask:

1. Is everyone clear on what needs to get done and when?
2. What are the consequences if this project takes longer than expected?
3. How important is stepping in?
4. Does hands-off motivate?
5. Are developmental goals clear?
6. Have we been down this path before? Don’t go down the same path again.
7. Will hands-off result in development? How?
8. What feedback structures are in place?

Key:

Prep-work brings hands-on and hands-off together. Establish developmental and outcome expectations upfront. But, you can’t anticipate every contingency.

Establish feedback structures when assigning responsibilities.

1. How frequently will you ask for updates? Set dates.
2. What questions will you ask? Questions explain what matters.
3. Get feedback on the way you give feedback. Is this process useful?
4. Always explore and agree upon next steps and end results.
5. Frequently ask, “How can I help?” don’t wait for the official feedback appointments.

My colleague is interested in developing others and I’m interested in getting things done. But, we have different motivations. Different is rich and useful.

How do you balance hands-on and hands-off?

Getting Past Excuses

If I started over, knowing what I know today, I would …

Aim higher and start sooner.
Mark Hopkins

Excuses:

Mark went on to say, “Life’s curveballs and my conservative nature provide daily excuses for not doing what I am capable of.  But my experience has shown me that anyone can hit what they aim for, or very close to it.”

Mark’s comment reminded me of a quote attributed to Michelangelo, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

Defeat excuses:

1. Develop deep experience. Experience provides perspective for aiming high. Mark said, “I’d get my Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours and go make a dream come true.” Gladwell says the key to success is practicing something for 10,000 hours.
2. Follow your drive. “In order to bring my ‘A’ game I need to be working on something I am passionate about.”
3. Build the team. “I would need an amazing team that was built on the kind of trust that only comes from knowing that we care about each other.”
4. Connect with mentors. “I would need a mentor who can take the pie-in-the-sky vision that I am hesitant to even say out loud and, through experience and personal example, lead me to the point where I can see my team making it happen.”

Failures:

1. Don’t stick with one thing long enough.
2. Follow expediency rather than passion.
3. Focus exclusively on themselves.
4. Think they know more than others.

Get real:

In my opinion, building the team and find mentors are the most neglected components of the road to success.

Why do people fall below their potential?

What makes aiming high more than pie-in-the-sky?

I haven’t read Mark’s book, Shortcut to Prosperity, but the table of contents goes well beyond pie-in-the-sky thinking.

Beyond Typical S.M.A.R.T Goals in 2013

The former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Jim Parker, told me,

“Don’t set artificial goals for yourself.”

Begin with noble ends:

Leadership is about people. Set people goals. Production and profitability are useful and necessary but never enough.

Increasing profits by 6% is important but not noble.

Two questions beyond artificial:

1. How do you want to think and feel about yourself when 2013 slips away?
2. What contribution will you make to the way others think and feel about themselves?

For you:

How do you want to think and feel about yourself?

1. Proud. Does your behavior and attitude make you proud of yourself?
2. Progressing. How can you enhance your strengths and minimize your weaknesses? What can you do for you?
3. Beneficial. How can you help others?
4. ???

For others:

How do you want others to think and feel about themselves?

1. Hopeful. What can you do to make the future bright?
2. Confident. How will you bolster self-confidence? Confidence fuels action.
3. Meaningful. How will you let others know they matter?
4. Connected. How will you make others feel they belong?
5. Interdependent. How will you help others work with others?
6. ???

Apply S.M.A.R.T to People:

S.M.A.R.T. goals are:

1. Specific.
2. Measurable.
3. Achievable.
4. Relevant.
5. Time-specific.

Apply S.M.A.R.T. to you and the contribution you’re making to others in 2013.

Getting there:

Tell others where you’re going if you’re serious about getting there. Invite in. Share plans. Give permission to ask what you’re doing to reach your goals.

How do you want to feel about you when 2013 slips away?

How do you want to make others feel?

Overcoming 7 Barriers to Getting What You Want

All leaders want what they don’t have. Wrong wanting frustrates. Right wanting motivates.

Why leaders don’t get what they want?

1. Failure to name it. You never achieve what you don’t name. Fear prevents leaders from saying what they really want.
2. Neglecting the team. Too much time spent focused on reaching goals not enough focused on building people.
3. Too many big goals not enough small. Successfully achieving several small goals builds confidence that big goals are possible. Reaching goals lengthens reach. Persistently falling short, shortens reach.
4. Unrealistic expectations.
5. Planning without follow through.
6. Lack of direction and focus.
7. Too much passion; not enough reason.

Get what you want by wanting the right things.

1. The horses in the barn not your imagination identify the right things to want. Where can your team take the organization you lead? Want that! It’s foolish to go where your team can’t take you.
2. Identify what you want by exploring what others want. What you want isn’t the only want. Aligned wants are achieved. Isolated wants cool and die.
3. Adapt your wants to anticipated resources, plus a little. Did income increase by 4% last year? Adjust your wants by 6%. Did it decrease by 5% then decrease by 3%.

Get what you want by building the team. People never reach when failure seems certain.

1. Build confidence by honoring skills, talents, and effort. Achievements are great but talent got you there.
2. Motivate with achievable milestones.
3. Establish stretch goals with, not for.
4. Develop skill-sets that align with goals.

Bonus: Change the team.

Why don’t leaders get what they want?

How can leaders more frequently get what they want?

10 Ways to Navigate Turbulence

Catastrophe is one decision away during turbulence. Reacting makes you look like a fool, eventually.

Wise leaders respond to turbulence; fools react. Reactions are passionate but uninformed. How many times have decisions outrun information? Ouch! That hurts.

Successful leaders respond; failures react.

“Make it go away,” reflects self-serving reaction. “What caused this,” begins organization-serving response. Circumstances control reactionary leaders; they feel pushed around. Principles guide responsive leaders; they face into the wind.

Establish direction before solving issues.

10 Ways to respond to turbulence:

1. Define smooth sailing. Is smooth sailing an option?
2. Predict duration. Is this a squall?
3. Explore intensity. Is this a hurricane?
4. Examine history. How long has this been brewing?
5. Who or what is at the center? People who consistently cause turbulence won’t solve it.
6. What behaviors, attitudes, or circumstances instigated turbulence? Should they stop or continue?
7. Describe the best next step? Forget perfection.
8. Are you navigating by the stars or controlled by the wind?
9. What new turbulence does the next step create?
10. Is public response warranted?

Bonus: Identify, support, authorize, and follow champions who lead through turbulence.

Hard truth:

Sometimes the ship should sink.

Any organization determined to save itself has lost sight of its mission. It’s not worth saving. Think of all the bureaucratic organizations bailing water to stay afloat.

Turbulence purifies and clarifies. Every response to turbulence clarifies the value you bring and how to bring it best. If you don’t bring value you deserve to sink.

“… In a free market the only way to do well is to do well for others.” Gary Hamel

How can leaders navigate turbulence?

The Most Important Thing

Facebook contributors completed the sentence, “The most important thing leaders do is _______.” The first 10 responses were:

1. Listen.
2. Give feedback.
3. Empower.
4. Communicate vision.
5. Inspire.
6. Enable others…
7. Learn.
8. Lead!
9. Keep hope alive.
10. Pray.

Read the entire list on Facebook.

The answer:

I didn’t have an answer when I asked. Now I believe there is no single answer. The most important thing is situational.

The most important thing leaders do is
the most important thing.

Successful leaders do what’s important. Sometimes it’s listening. Other times, it’s giving feedback.

Rejecting:

Clear the clutter. Find what’s important by stopping what’s not.

If you’re afraid to stop, postpone. Postponing insignificant activities is enough. If you’ve misjudged their importance, they’ll be back.

Tip:

Delete items on your to-do list after carrying them forward a week. They seem important but they aren’t. If they were, you would have done them. Put them on a wish list.

Priority:

What’s important now?

1. Activities that produce results. Commit to action.
2. Everything that feels urgent isn’t important. The next time someone approaches with panic in their eye, ask if it can wait until this afternoon. By the afternoon, see if it’s solved.
3. Small wins. A small win in the hand is better than two big wins in the bush. Big wins emerge from a series of small wins.

Before starting something new, ask, “Is this important?” Keep asking as you go.

Avoid stagnation:

Don’t fret over finding the most important thing. Just do what’s important now.

Why are unimportant things getting done while important ones aren’t?

How do you determine what’s important?