10 Ways to Stand Up for Your Great Idea

Your idea got shot down. Give up, play safe, or push forward?

Courage and boldness create your future.
Cowardice solidifies your past.

Leaders don’t give up quickly.

Boldly advocate.
Courageously stand up.
Tenaciously push forward.

How to stand up for your ideas:

Courage and boldness don’t have to be rude, irritating, and adversarial.

Jerks aren’t courageous they’re fearful.

1. Build alliances. Boldly support the ideas of others as much as you support your own. Stand with others if you expect them to stand with you.
2. Forget defending. Adversarial relationships emerge during defensive conversations. You defend and they shoot down. It’s lose – lose.
3. Explore. Defending pushes away; exploring invites in. “I’d like to explore an alternative outreach program. What if …”
4. Choose private first. Don’t put people on the spot in front of colleagues. Introduce and explore ideas in one-on-one conversations.
5. Align with current circumstances and organizational values. When values collide, conversations move from pros and cons to who’s right and who’s wrong.
6. Be firm and nice. Weakness gets angry when it doesn’t get its way.
7. Listen if you want to be heard. Don’t dismiss counter-points, say, “Good point,” instead. Go slow to go fast. Patience is courage not cowardice.
8. Suggest pilot programs. Say, “I’d like to test this in our marketing department,” for example. All or nothing often ends up with nothing. A small piece of pie is better than no piece.
9. Ask, “What are the benefits of staying the same?”
10. Ask, “What are the dangers of staying the same?”

Bonus: Never make your ideas about you. Always pursue what’s best for your organization.

Successful leaders find reasons to step forward,
not stay the same.

Warning:

New ideas meet opposition. You’ll hear reasons it won’t work before reasons it will. Listen and understand, but don’t play dead.

How can leaders stand up for their ideas without unnecessarily pushing others down?

What strategies work well for exploring innovative concepts?

How to Bring Out the Best

Bringing out your best is child’s play compared to bringing out their best.

Leaders who bring out the best in others make courage possible. Nothing meaningful happens without courage.

Encourage courage.

Everyone is still unlearning the necessary fear parents taught us. Leaders have the courage to develop courage in others.

Who before what:

Bringing out the best in others begins with “who” not “what.” Know who you’re dealing with, before thinking about what you want them to do. Are they…

Deep or shallow:

Some respond well to being thrown into the deep end. Throw them in. Others prefer the shallow end. They prefer to learn courage gradually.

In either case, successful leaders grow the courage muscles of others.

History:

Bring out the best in others by knowing their past. The past directs the future.

1. How did they responded to new assignments?
2. What have they learned from failure?
3. What motivated them in the past?
4. Who did they mesh with?
5. Who rubbed them the wrong way?

Heart:

Bring out the best by knowing their heart. What are their values and aspirations. Are they working for advancement, for example.

You know what makes you tick.
Leaders know what makes them tick.

How can leaders bring out the best in others?

Facing Reluctance

Don’t waste yourself. You can – you must – lead.

Every connection, challenge, problem, pain-point, opportunity, or exchange, opens doors to leadership – to make things better.

Reject:

1. Embarrassment with your desire to make things better.
2. Waiting for titles or position. Leadership isn’t a title.
3. Beat-down from do-nothing detractors.
4. Traditional command and control leadership.

Every time you stifle your longing to matter,
you lose a piece of yourself.

Terminology:

Are you uncomfortable with the terms leader and leadership? Redefine them. Leadership is:

1. Influencing. Ask, “What’s important?”
2. Seeking a step toward better. Ask, “What’s next?”
3. Bringing value to others. Ask, “How can I help?”
4. Solving problems with others. Ask, “Can we fix this?”
5. Bringing yourself to challenges and opportunities. Ask, “What can I bring?”

If you can’t say, “I’m a leader,” say I’m an:

1. Influencer.
2. Collaborator.
3. Solution seeker.
4. Simplifier.
5. Liberator.
6. Next step taker.
7. Value adder.
8. Improver.

Don’t let others define you. Define yourself in terms of  your passion. Stop muffling your inner longing to make a difference.

8 tips for finding your leadership:

1. Give yourself permission. It’s always OK to do good.
2. Be you. If you like organizing, then organize, for example.
3. Help others know they matter. You matter most when you help others know they matter.
4. Step toward better.
5. Thank critics. “Thanks for telling me I can’t make a difference!” (sarcasm) Losers want you to lose too.
6. Tell a friend you want to step up.
7. Do something every week that develops you.
8. Bring others in. Leaders connect rather than retreat.

Following:

If everyone leads, who follows? Leading includes following, supporting, and enabling. Leading isn’t fighting for power and control. Great followers have hearts of leaders.

Listen to secret, stifled yearnings that whisper, “You matter.”  You’re surrounded by “ordinary” people who lead. Be one. Do something.

How can reluctant leaders find their leadership?

When Teammates Collide

Forward-focused teammates clash with foot-draggers.  But, foot-draggers aren’t the problem.

My approach to an opportunity is grab it and go. Planning isn’t high on my list. I know it’s important but can’t we plan as we go. “Just do something” is my motto. Build the airplane in the air.

“Just do something people” drive planners crazy. But “just do something” isn’t the problem.

Example:

A planner on my team sent me an e-mail that included, “I don’t want to frustrate you.” I was pushing for a next step. He was explaining why we can’t move forward, at this time.

Every team experiences collisions between team members pushing for the next thing and those reluctant to move forward.

*Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins explain motivational collisions in their new book, “Focus.” They explain how some tend to promote and others prevent.

Promoters play to win.
Preventers play not to lose.

Preventors prefer to say, “No! to an opportunity, rather than end up in hot water.” Halvorson and Higgins.

Over the years, I’ve seen the weakness of my promoter-focus. I don’t protect gains. Mistakes are no big deal. Planning takes too long. I’m willing to lose what I have – to gain what I don’t.

Promoters tend toward big ideas.
Preventers are great with details.

Motivation:

“For a promotion-focused person, what’s really “bad” is a nongain: a chance not taken, a reward unearned, a failure to advance… But for the prevention-focused, the ultimate “bad” is a loss you failed to stop; a mistake made, a punishment received, a danger you failed to avoid.”

Everyone:

Everyone, according to Halvorson and Higgins, has both motivations and, depending on the context, brings them out. The planner, I mentioned, who didn’t want to frustrate me is a fire-ball-promoter once he sees a path to success, for example.

How might leaders navigate tensions between promoters and preventors?

*Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins lead the Motivational Science Center at Columbia Business School.

Bonus material: Heidi Grant Halvorson in her own words on characteristics of promotion and prevention focus. (4:17)

20 Things all Great Organizational Leaders Do

Jim Collins said he wanted to write a book about great organizations not great leaders. But as his research grew, he realized great organizations had one thing in common, great leaders. He ended up writing, “Good to Great,” a book about leaders.

Never underestimate the power of lousy leaders
to demotivate people and destroy organizations.

The roots of great organizations are found in great leaders.

Great organizations have leaders who:

1. Have mentors and coaches.
2. Point out uncomfortable truths quickly, honestly, and compassionately.
3. Live authentically. Fakers can’t be trusted. Trust is foundational to influence.
4. Monitor and manage emotional states. Feelings impact performance.
5. Expect results and don’t make excuses.
6. Compare themselves with their potential, not others.
7. Concentrate on people. Love is a leadership word.
8. Clarify and narrow focus.
9. Make others feel powerful. Employees in great organizations don’t say, “Things never change.”
10. Love winning and compete aggressively.
11. Talk and act humbly. Great leaders make others great. They’re never full of themselves.
12. Engage with others without interfering.
13. Ask “stupid” questions. They aren’t afraid to look stupid by not knowing.
14. Prioritize culture building.
15. Set direction but delegate decisions to those closest to the action.
16. Hold themselves and others to high, agreed upon, standards.
17. Have fun. Many leaders I know take themselves too seriously.
18. Recognize, reward, praise, and honor others.
19. Give back to the community. Generosity is normal, not rare, for leaders who build great organizations.
20. Face forward by thinking, talking, and acting with the future in mind.

(This post is the result of reflecting on the presentations at the Great Place to Work Annual Conference 2013)

After writing this post, I found a post I wrote on 6/5/11 titled: “20 Proven Things All Great Leaders Always Do.” It was fun comparing the lists.

Which qualities do you find most important, challenging, or fulfilling?

What behaviors would you add to this list?

When Your Heart Lets Others Down

Negative environments are built by negative leaders.

Organizations reflect their leaders.

All leaders influence attitudes and behaviors. The people closest to you reflect you. If you aren’t influencing, you’re not leading. (Take this as a general principle not a moral absolute. Some people stay positive inspite of you.)

Rude in other’s eyes:

Rushing makes you rude. You see yourself as nice in your heart but there’s no time to show it. That makes you rude in the eyes of others.

Rude leaders – those who don’t have time for niceties – tell others they don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s intentional or accidental.

Every act of rudeness says, “I’m more important than you.”

Rude leaders build self-centered, self-protective organizations.

Ungrateful in other’s eyes:

Pressing into the future makes leaders seem ungrateful about the present.

You see yourself as grateful but you don’t recognize achievement without reminding everyone they aren’t there yet.

The team reached goals this week but missed them last. What do you say when they celebrate? “That doesn’t fix last week!” You don’t want people letting down next week so you keep pushing. You’re an ungrateful jerk, even if you don’t feel that way.

Kind and grateful:

Kindness and gratitude build positive environments. Rudeness and ingratitude build negative environments – even if you don’t mean to be negative. You seem unkind even if you don’t feel it. Stop excusing neglect because you’re stressed.

Gratitude left unexpressed is perceived as ungratefulness.
Unexpressed kindness is unkindness regardless of intent.

Positive environments:

Behaviors you wish you had time for don’t change anything. Feeling it “in your heart” isn’t enough. Wishing doesn’t matter.

Organizations reflect observable leadership behaviors. Express gratitude. Act kindly. Stop whining about negative environments created by neglect.

What leadership behaviors build positive environments?

Seven Simple Steps From Can’t to Can

Every organization has “can’t do” people in it. Their first words are no, can’t, or won’t. Successful leaders change can’t to can.

Real influence:

Coercion creates conformity; influence transforms.

Incompetent leaders pressure; skillful leaders influence.

Inept leaders us power, authority, and position to intimidate. Influential leaders move people from can’t to can by changing what people believe, think, and feel.

Seven steps:

1. Stop pressuring people to change. You can’t change someone only they can. Peter Senge wisely said, “People don’t resist change, they resist being changed.”
2. Go back to rule number one until you believe it!
3. Give acceptance to gain acceptance. Their beliefs come before yours. Listen to understand. Understanding isn’t a contest; acceptance isn’t agreement.
4. Pull back when they pull back. Create space for change. Pressure creates resistance.
5. Identify and agree on a core point of resistance. State a sticking point. Do they nod in agreement?
6. *Ask, “Can we fix this?” Say nothing more. Shhh! Wait! Thinking instantly shifts if they say, “Yes.”
7. Ask, “What’s the next step?” after “Yes.”

“Yes” changes the brain.

Resistance:

Pressured people explain reasons it can’t be done and why it won’t work. Their brains are busy defending “no.”

People who believe it won’t work
find reasons it won’t work.

Changing Thinking:

The moment someone says, “Yes, we can fix this,” their thinking irresistibly, inevitably changes. “Yes” shifts brains from can’t or won’t to can and how.

You can’t say, “Yes, we can fix this,”
without also thinking how.

No:

What happens when they say, “No, we can’t fix this?” Find “yes” somewhere else. Ask, “Is there something we can fix?”

Only an UNbullied “yes” changes can’t to can.

***

*The first time I saw, “Can we fix this?” was in, “To Sell is Human,” by Daniel Pink.

Bonus material:

Facebook contributors share their insights on dealing with negative thinkers. 4/12/13

Blog post: Something Better than “I Think I Can”

How can leaders change “can’t do” to “can do?”

7 Secrets to Leading Through Turbulence

I chartered a sailboat for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. It was clear, sunny, and we could see the shores of St. Croix, when the captain invited me to “take the helm.”

Even a former farm boy can steer the boat in calm waters. I felt more important than I was. But…

Leaders matter most during storms.

Turbulent times and threatening circumstances call for skillful leadership. People depend on you. Challenging times make or break you and those around you. Rise up.

Your response impacts their response.

7 Surprising secrets to sailing in rough seas:

1. Give power don’t take it. Tough times paralyze powerless people. Stifle your inner control freak!
2. People feel most powerful when they feel in control. I still remember the feeling of holding the helm. I wasn’t doing much but I felt in control. Focus on controllable behaviors not uncontrollable circumstances.
3. Ramp up compassion; tone down harshness. Embrace the tension between tender and tough. You tip toward one or the others. Cling to both. Exceptional leaders call for excellence in compassionate ways, for example.
4. Deal quickly and decisively with lollygaggers. Do it for the good of the team. They anchor everyone. Give ultimatums to half-hearted foot-draggers. “You have one week to get on board or I’m throwing you over the side.” Crews cheer when sluggards walk the plank.
5. Respond to hand wringing naysayers by asking, “What can we do?”
6. Say everything you can say. Information is power. The more information you give the more powerful they feel.
7. Create predictability when times are unpredictable. Establish rituals. Schedule a Wednesday morning meeting to track progress,  adapt plans, and create wins.

Bonus: Stand on deck more than ever. Be seen: walk around more, touch base more, stop in more.

Added resource: “10 Ways to Navigate Turbulence.”

What does leading successfully in turbulence look like to you?

Register today for tomorrow’s FREE – LIVE conference call with Dr. Henry Cloud. Learn how setting boundaries extends results. Find strategies for results, relationships, and being ridiculously in charge. INFO

Toxic by Accident

Image source by George Hodan

My children used to say, “Stop yelling dad.” I’d say, “I’m not yelling.” My voice sounded calm to me.

Authority and power amplify actions and words.

Every behavior of respected leaders is magnified. Tell a team member, for example, “Your report is late.” They hear, “I’m getting fired.” Or, you ask, “What happened?” They feel picked on.

You think , “no big deal.” They think, “Big deal.” That’s what respect does.

Toxic:

Toxic environments develop when leaders don’t realize their power. Quiet is loud when you’re respected, powerful, and authoritative.

Yell the good. Whisper the bad.

Important:

Don’t forget you matter.

We have bigger bodies and different clothes but we’re thirteen on the inside. You look on the inside and see a kid; they look on the outside and see a leader.

You matter in wrong ways when you forget you matter.

Embrace your importance but reject self-importance.

Humility:

I’m not inflating your ego. Chances are you have plenty. I’m writing this to clarify the impact of your words and behaviors.

Arrogant leaders, who fear they don’t matter, throw their weight around like bullies. Humble leaders believe they matter. Additionally, they know they matter most when they make others matter.

C.S. Lewis said, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

Focus on others. You have power to make others powerful.

Amplify:

Imagine everything you do has more impact than you believe. You think your volume is a three. Their respect for you amplifies your three to an eight.

William James said, “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

Leaders who don’t realize their own power accidentally damage people and create toxic environments.

How does believing you matter impact the way you think about leadership?

For All the Danny Downers

You want the people around you to feel up not down, hopeful not discouraged. All successful leaders energize others. But, what if you aren’t the energizing type?

Peter Senge said,

“Your primary influence is the environment you create.”

Leaders often neglect environments in favor of getting work done.

Tending personal environments:

Personal space has energy. Step in and it pulls down or lifts up. Danny Downer is a spiraling vortex of despair. An hour with him drains you. Hours later, you’re still climbing out of his dark hole. Or you’ve given up.

Edna  Energizer amps people. An hour with her boosts you. Hours later, you’re half way up the mountain with energy to spare.

We’re all climbers.

All leaders impact “the climb” of others by establishing starting places. Energizing leaders elevate starting points; low energy leaders lower them.

Successful leaders elevate starting points.

Danny Downer:

1. Fears offending others – lives to please everyone.
2. Imagines obstacles that can’t be solved.
3. Knows all the reasons nothing can change.
4. Questions abilities.
5. Focuses on resources rather than people.

Edna Energizer:

1. Builds and trusts the team. Danny feels alone.
2. Takes small steps without permission. She believes it’s better to get in trouble trying things than doing nothing and staying safe.
3. Sees obstacles but imagines progress.
4. Learns from failure.
5. Expects herself and others to step up.

The difference between Danny and Edna is courage.  Leadership requires courage. Danny’s a coward.

For all the Danny Downers:

1. Admit it. You are darkness with legs. (If you’re tempted to say it’s not that bad, it is.)
2. Confess it. Tell someone you’re a downer. Say, “I want to change.”
3. Get help. Run – don’t walk – to energizing leaders and learn.
4. Define energizing behaviors. Changing attitude helps but changing behaviors changes things.

Everyone feels the environment around you. Energize intentionally. The higher you start the further you’ll go.

How can leaders create personal space that energizes others?

Next week’s best leadership development opportunity is a free conference call with bestselling author, Doug Conant. Join me on March 27 at 1:00 p.m. EST.