How to Break Destructive Patterns

Those who can’t or won’t see patterns are doomed to repeat the past. Ignore patterns and yesterday’s decisions become tomorrow’s destiny.

“Patterns, not problems, will ruin your business.”
Dr. Henry Cloud

Pattern recognition may be the least discussed and most neglected leadership skill. Yet, pattern recognition informs plans, enables innovation, and empowers decision making.

Everyone has experience, wise leaders learn from it.
Learning from experience is the ability
to see and acknowledge patterns.

Constant frustration means you’re in patterns you can’t or won’t see. Blindness to patterns happens when you:

1. Define yourself by results. When I defined myself by results, I ignored the reason for disappointing results and tried faster and harder. Frustration!
2. Need another’s approval to bolster your worth. Think of those who remain in abusive relationships.
3. Misapply experiences from the past. Success in one context doesn’t guarantee success in another. Problems at JC Penny may illustrate this dangerous pattern.

The real problem is the pattern:

In, “Boundaries for Leaders,” Dr. Henry Cloud explains how successful leaders see repeated problems as the problem. “Problems aren’t the issue. Problems are the work.” The problem is repeated problems – patterns.

Breaking patterns:

In yesterday’s conference call, Dr. Cloud explained that breaking patterns often involves creating structure. The board may meet with you every month rather than quarterly, for example.

Secondly, pattern busting often requires bringing in the outside. Hire a coach, find a mentor, visit the competition, or interact with fresh leaders.

Thirdly, instigate vigorous debate. Gather frontline employees and have them explain the reasons your organization is stuck, for example.

“Patterns, when addressed as if they were only a problem to be solved, remain.” Dr. Henry Cloud

Bonus material:

My conversation with Dr. Cloud on the difference between problems and patterns (5:45). 

How can leaders get better at seeing and breaking negative patterns?

Isolated Leadership: Dangers and Solutions

Isolated leaders inevitably run down, grow ineffective, and become irrelevant. Closed systems die slow deaths.

Don’t wait for the energy fairy. She ain’t coming.

What happens when you place a frog in water that’s slowly being heated? They don’t jump out, they die.

The increasing heat of leadership subtly cooks isolated leaders.

Isolation feels safe but it kills.

You’re isolated and running down if you feel:

1. Disconnected.
2. Distrustful.
3. Unsupported.
4. Misunderstood.
5. Constantly guarded.

Warning: Leaders frequently lean toward isolation.

In his new book, “Boundaries for Leaders,” Dr. Henry Cloud says:

“Set boundaries on your tendency to be a ‘closed system,’ and open yourself to outside inputs that bring you energy and guidance.”

Solitude isn’t a leadership strategy.

Open yourself to influence, input, and support from outside your organization. Closed systems inevitably die. Dr. Cloud says the benefits of outside input includes:

1. Insight into new models of leading.
2. Motivation and development.
3. Help overcoming obstacles.
4. Support through valleys.
5. Protection from worst instincts.

“Leaders need outside voices to provide emotional and functional support…” Dr. Cloud.

You need reminders to get out of yourself and the organization you lead. Dr. Cloud suggests:

1. Know your personal kookiness. You aren’t perfectly rational 100% of the time.
2. Get coaching.
3. Join a leadership group.
4. Take courses and attend conferences.
5. Seek and listen to feedback. “To be the best you can be, you must develop a hunger for feedback…”

A note on kooky:

Acknowledging idiosyncrasies frees; hiding them confines.

All leaders have “special” built in over-reactions, biases in perception, and instinctual responses that don’t work. Acknowledging “special qualities” opens and strengthens leadership.

How can leaders overcome the tendency to isolate?

What behaviors help leaders connect?

Great Leaders are Great Because They …

Great leadership is more about others and less about you. Stop focusing on yourself.

Great leaders are great because they:

1. Have emotional intelligence.
2. Reveal greatness in others.
3. Know where they’re going and why.
4. Engage.
5. Don’t really think they are great.

Read the whole “great leaders” list on Facebook.

Two great leaders:

Warren Buffet (4^th richest person in the world) and Tony Hsieh (CEO of Zappos) are great leaders because they hire great people and get out of the way.

Buffet said:

1. Hire people and don’t tell them what to do.
2. Let good people set their own standards and direction.
3. Delegate almost to the point of abdication.

Dr. David Vik (Doc) invested early in Zappos and worked there for five years. I asked Doc what made Tony Hsieh a great leader. “Zappos’ vision to Deliver Happiness is so clear and powerful that management doesn’t have to tell employees what to do.”

Enable people to act without you
by establishing shared vision.

Stop telling good people what to do.

Two factors of great leadership:

Great leadership isn’t about you. It’s about the people around you. “Get the right people on the bus.” Jim Collins.

Surround yourself with the most talented, passionate people available. Jack Welch said, “The team with the best players wins.”

Second, great leaders become less central, not more. Work yourself out-of, not into jobs.

If you are essential you are the bottleneck.

Third essential ingredient:

Doc believes organizational culture creates environments that empower people to function at their best. In other words, you can’t simply hire people and leave them alone. Success requires high performance cultures.

Great leaders build empowering organizational culture.

Doc explains the five factors essential to culture building in his book, “The Culture Secret.”

1. Vision.
2. Purpose.
3. Business Model.
4. Unique/Wow factors.
5. Values.

Doc, in his own words on what makes Tony Hsieh a great leader:

Connect with Doc on Linkedin.

What factors make leaders great?

Mastering Leadership Relationships

People look to leaders when things aren’t working.

Not working:

In less than three years, nearly 300 of Campbell Soup Company’s 350 global leaders had either left on their own or were asked to leave. What kind of CEO leads a blood-bath like that?

You might picture a Genghis Khan character with blood dripping from his sword. But Doug Conant – quiet introvert – is the CEO who turned Campbell Soup Company around.

Working:

During one of our conversations, Doug told me, “Successful leaders are tough on issues and tender with people.” Every leader defaults to one.

“If you are out of balance, the solution is not to lower the volume where you are strong but to dial up in the area where you are less comfortable or feel less capable.” Doug Conant in “TouchPoints.”

Leaders who master the tension between tough and tender, master leadership relationships.

Both:

Doug explains that tough leaders:

1. Keep things simple.
2. Tackle issues head on.
3. Speak directly.
4. Move quickly.
5. Act decisively.

“… You may cross the line between not tolerating poor performance … and not tolerating mistakes…”

Tender leaders:

1. Place people first.
2. Set direction.
3. Provide few guidelines.
4. Leverage talent.
5. Get out of the way.

“… You may forget that it is more important to be trusted (which sometimes involves making tough calls) than to be liked.

Practice:

Doug’s TouchPoint leadership model is both tough and tender. Every interaction provides opportunity to move agendas forward through relational contact. Interruptions aren’t frustrations. Doug believes, “The action is the interaction.”

A favorite Conant quote:

“You don’t have to go all the way to bright – just make it better today.”

Opportunity:

Leadership Freak readers have the unique opportunity to spend time on the phone with Doug Conant. Learn more and register for this FREE opportunity. Space is limited.

How can leaders navigate tensions between tough and tender?

Three Surprising Secrets to Moving People

All leaders move people. Moving people begins when you understand them, not when they understand you.

Daniel Pink believes the ability to move people begins with attunement.

“Attunement is the ability to bring ones actions and outlook into harmony with other people and with the context you’re in. Think of it as operating the dial on a radio. It’s the capacity to move up and down the band as circumstances demand, locking in on what’s being transmitted, even if those signals aren’t immediately clear or obvious.” Daniel Pink, Too Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth about Moving Others.

Pink defines attunement as, “Perspective-taking.”

Moving others begins with
taking their perspective not pushing yours.

Tune into another’s perspective, but how?

Three ways to find attunement:

1. Pink writes, “Assume that you’re not in power.” Pink’s comment is based on research by Galinsky, Magee, and Gruenfeld, Power and Perspectives Not Taken.
2. “Use your head as much as your heart.” Empathy is useful, but thinking about what others are thinking enhance your ability to move them.
3. Mirror. Research demonstrates that mimicking makes people feel you’re attuned. Pink explains it can be as simple as repeating what others say word for word rather than paraphrasing.

More on power:

The more power we believe we have the less able we are to understand and appreciate others and their perspectives.

Those in charge are likely out of touch
because they are in charge.

“Start each encounter with the assumption that you’re in the position of lower power.” Daniel Pink.

Powerful leaders don’t rely on power.

Still more:

Pink explains the ability to move others isn’t becoming a pushover. Loosing yourself to others isn’t leadership its oblivion. Read, To Sell is Human, for the rest of the story.

How might power be a barrier to moving others?

How might power limit one’s ability to take another’s perspective?

One Thing All Outstanding Organizations Do

Aspiration is useless, on its own. You aspire to excellence, success, and fulfillment. Big deal. Who doesn’t?

Aspiration apart from definition, method, and means is life lived by blind hope and dumb luck. Furthermore, defining isn’t enough.

Defining organizational excellence apart from developing clear strategies to achieve it is, “Equivalent to telling a middle-school basket-ball player that the key to success is being like Michael Jordan,” Karen Martin.

How can organizations become outstanding? How can you achieve your aspirations?

From aspiration to achievement:

“More important than the quest for certainty
is the quest for clarity.” Francois Gautier

Clarity:

All outstanding organizations pursue clarity, passionately. Lack of clarity comforts the mediocre.

Karen explains strategies for developing clarity in her new book, “The Outstanding Organization.”

1. Embrace truth telling and truth seeking. In my experience, there is damn little of this in organizations. Nearly every organizational leader I know shades the truth; we lie. Why do “noble” leaders lie? Because we believe people can’t handle the truth. Think about it.
2. Eliminate “soft” language. Martin says, “Telling someone the honest truth … about his performance, or about a challenge the company faces is fundamentally an act of respect.” Turn this around. Shading the truth is profound, degrading disrespect.
3. Expose fuzzy words. I’m sick to death of terms like; better, near, almost, fast, slow, high, and low. This language is confusing at best and deceiving at worst. Be specific or shut up because you’re wasting everyone’s time and likely tooting your own horn.
4. Eradicate, “Maybe,” and “I’m not sure.” Karen says, “Do your best to preface every answer with, ‘Yes,’ ‘No,’ or ‘I don’t know.’” You may need to elaborate, but if you don’t begin with clarity, it’s not likely you’ll achieve it. Karen says “Yes and no” is cheating!

Apart from seeking clarity, what strategies do you employ in your pursuit of excellence?

What do all outstanding organizations do?

***

Note: My rule has been to never mention books unless I’ve spoken to the author. “The Outstanding Organization,” is so good I broke that rule. Get this book and learn four elegantly simple foundations for building an outstanding organization.

10 Stunning Benefits of Failure

Success teaches repetition. Do more of the same because more of the same produces more of the same.

In changing times more of the same is deadly.

Success teaches confidence. Without confidence progress stalls, second-guessing prevails, the status quo persists. On the down side, success inflates confidence.

Bill Gates said, “Success is a lousy teacher.
It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”

Danger:

Too much confidence spawns failure. The vulnerabilities of over-confidence include:

1. Failure to explore root causes of success.
2. Resistance to evaluation.
3. Feelings of invincibility.
4. Closed ears.

Opportunity:

Failure humbles some and angers others. Humble leaders:

1. Ask what caused failure. Exploring failure is the most useful result of failure.
2. Know they don’t know. Not knowing is the first step to knowing.
3. Adapt. Stubborn resistance to adapting reveals arrogance.
4. Know limitations.
5. Acknowledge weaknesses to themselves and others. Transparency marks humble leaders.
6. Seek advice and welcome feedback from all quarters.
7. Welcome help. High potentials don’t say, “I can do it on my own.”
8. Give credit.
9. Respect skill in others.
10. Honor teams rather than steal credit.

Bonus: Display compassion even during the rigorous pursuit of excellence.

High Potentials:

Watch team members respond to failure, frustration, and falling short. Continue stretching the humble and coaching the angry. Elevate the humble.

Work with the arrogant. If they refuse to grow, eliminate them. Humility builds. Arrogance destroys.

It’s a tough call because confidence is essential to success. But over-confidence, eventually fails. The ten responses to failure help identify high-potentials.

What benefits have failure produced in your life?

How do you identify high potential employees?

Life Lessons from Amy Lyman, Co-Founder of Great Place to Work®

Image source

I asked Amy Lyman, co-founder of the Great Place to Work® Institute, what she would do differently if she could start over.

She said, “I would not do anything differently as I don’t think about my life and work in that way. What I do try to do is think about how to go forward, taking the lessons I’ve learned along the way to make my life better and the lives of others better.”

5 life lessons from Amy Lyman:

1. Go forward in life with confidence that what you have chosen to do is valuable to the world at large and important to you personally.
2. Take time to choose wisely. Pursue a career or way of life at a reasonable pace that enables you to enjoy being alive.
3. Treat people with respect and fairness, without manipulation or deception, so that you are always able to look people in the eye.
4. Share the joys and burdens of work with your colleagues and co-workers, and when you have the opportunity to do so, share the rewards as well – fairly and equitably. From my many years of work with people in great workplaces in which relationships are built on trust, I’ve seen again and again the power of shared burdens and shared rewards.
5. Pursue happiness – our time on earth is brief in the grand scheme of things and a bigger car, bigger house or corner office pale in comparison to being happy.

My favorite:

When I hear Amy say, “Go forward in life with confidence…,” The words, “believe you matter,” bounce in my head. Stop trying to matter and know you do. Now, go do what matters.

More from Amy Lyman:

• Her blog: An extended response to the question: Choices for the New Year.
• Her book: The Trustworthy Leader. (Highly Recommended)

Amy on Leadership Freak:

• How to Create Buy-In Before You Blowup
• The Secret to a Great Place to Work
• How to Move Through Uncertainty to Opportunity
• Amy Lyman Kicked my Assumptions

Which of Amy’s life lessons gets traction in your thinking? Why?

What life lessons do you frequently share?

Purposeful Abandonment: The Art of Letting Go

© Qrius4ever | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

You employ systems and strategies for starting, maintaining, and moving forward. Adopt systems for stopping, as well.

People who can’t say, “No,” chase all the spilled marbles at once. They’re confused and empty handed in the end. Too many yeses distract, weigh down, and waste energy.

“In order to grow, a business must have a
systematic policy to get rid of the outgrown,
the obsolete, and the unproductive.”
Peter Drucker

Abandonment conversations:

Begin 2013 with, “What do you need to stop,” conversations with key people. Ask:

1. What frustrates?
2. What drains energy?
3. What wastes time?
4. What produces small returns?
5. Which customers should be sent to competitors?
6. Is it time to stop petting a pet project?
7. What distracts from leveraging strengths?
8. What has low impact?
9. What can be stopped?

Paperwork is on many lists of frustrating, energy drainers, for example. Are reports necessary or antiquated? How much time is spent completing reports that seldom, if ever, get used?

“Planned, purposeful abandonment of the old
and of the unrewarding is a prerequisite to
successful pursuit of the new and highly promising.” Peter Drucker

You’re tough when it comes to endurance. Get courageous and tough on stopping things, too.

Abandonment meetings:

Schedule a monthly abandonment meeting. Carve off part of your business or organization and ask:

1. Do returns justify expense?
2. How much would it matter if we stopped …?
3. How are we squandering strengths?
4. How are these activities aligned with mission and vision?

Abandonment lists:

I don’t remember when I first heard, “Not to-do list,” but its genius. Make one. Variations of abandonment lists:

1. Do less of list.
2. Put it off till you’re tired and grumpy list.
3. Don’t care if it’s ever done list.
4. Have someone else do it list.

How can leaders and organizations get better at abandonment?

Beyond Typical S.M.A.R.T Goals in 2013

The former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Jim Parker, told me,

“Don’t set artificial goals for yourself.”

Begin with noble ends:

Leadership is about people. Set people goals. Production and profitability are useful and necessary but never enough.

Increasing profits by 6% is important but not noble.

Two questions beyond artificial:

1. How do you want to think and feel about yourself when 2013 slips away?
2. What contribution will you make to the way others think and feel about themselves?

For you:

How do you want to think and feel about yourself?

1. Proud. Does your behavior and attitude make you proud of yourself?
2. Progressing. How can you enhance your strengths and minimize your weaknesses? What can you do for you?
3. Beneficial. How can you help others?
4. ???

For others:

How do you want others to think and feel about themselves?

1. Hopeful. What can you do to make the future bright?
2. Confident. How will you bolster self-confidence? Confidence fuels action.
3. Meaningful. How will you let others know they matter?
4. Connected. How will you make others feel they belong?
5. Interdependent. How will you help others work with others?
6. ???

Apply S.M.A.R.T to People:

S.M.A.R.T. goals are:

1. Specific.
2. Measurable.
3. Achievable.
4. Relevant.
5. Time-specific.

Apply S.M.A.R.T. to you and the contribution you’re making to others in 2013.

Getting there:

Tell others where you’re going if you’re serious about getting there. Invite in. Share plans. Give permission to ask what you’re doing to reach your goals.

How do you want to feel about you when 2013 slips away?

How do you want to make others feel?