Where Passion Comes From

Passion is longing to be what you could be, but aren’t.

Passion for leadership is the combination of falling below your imagined leadership potential and longing for exceptional leadership – at the same time.

The gap between longing and attainment is passion.

You:

ABC’s of finding your passion:

1. Accept disappointing performance. You read leadership books, blogs, and articles because you long to be better. You aren’t there yet. Pain gives birth of passion.
2. Believe improvement is possible and worthwhile. Hope makes you bold.
3. Create a Picture of the preferred future. Think about ultimate goals not the process. You aren’t sure how to get there. But, when you close your eyes and dream, you see the end.
4. Deliberate steps – action. The whole path is never clear but a step is always possible.

Others:

People fuel our passion when they make us feel we matter.

Recently, people fueled my passion, again. It happened during a presentation to a group of Human Resource professionals.

I paced the back of the room like a caged animal while announcements were made. A participant came back and said, “Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?” I’m not sure if my pacing invited the question but it made me feel I mattered.

A participant asked me to sign their program. I felt awkward and didn’t respond well. “Really?” I said. I regret saying that. After reflection, it makes me feel I matter.

About half-way through my presentation, someone asked, “What’s the future for you, Dan?” That wasn’t the topic. I almost brushed it off. Instead I gave a short reply and moved on. It made me feel I mattered.

Leaders make others feel they matter.
Any fool can make others feel they don’t matter.

Passion – the courage to act on dreams – comes from within and without.

How are you making people feel they matter?

Where does your passion come from?

When Teammates Collide

Forward-focused teammates clash with foot-draggers.  But, foot-draggers aren’t the problem.

My approach to an opportunity is grab it and go. Planning isn’t high on my list. I know it’s important but can’t we plan as we go. “Just do something” is my motto. Build the airplane in the air.

“Just do something people” drive planners crazy. But “just do something” isn’t the problem.

Example:

A planner on my team sent me an e-mail that included, “I don’t want to frustrate you.” I was pushing for a next step. He was explaining why we can’t move forward, at this time.

Every team experiences collisions between team members pushing for the next thing and those reluctant to move forward.

*Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins explain motivational collisions in their new book, “Focus.” They explain how some tend to promote and others prevent.

Promoters play to win.
Preventers play not to lose.

Preventors prefer to say, “No! to an opportunity, rather than end up in hot water.” Halvorson and Higgins.

Over the years, I’ve seen the weakness of my promoter-focus. I don’t protect gains. Mistakes are no big deal. Planning takes too long. I’m willing to lose what I have – to gain what I don’t.

Promoters tend toward big ideas.
Preventers are great with details.

Motivation:

“For a promotion-focused person, what’s really “bad” is a nongain: a chance not taken, a reward unearned, a failure to advance… But for the prevention-focused, the ultimate “bad” is a loss you failed to stop; a mistake made, a punishment received, a danger you failed to avoid.”

Everyone:

Everyone, according to Halvorson and Higgins, has both motivations and, depending on the context, brings them out. The planner, I mentioned, who didn’t want to frustrate me is a fire-ball-promoter once he sees a path to success, for example.

How might leaders navigate tensions between promoters and preventors?

*Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins lead the Motivational Science Center at Columbia Business School.

Bonus material: Heidi Grant Halvorson in her own words on characteristics of promotion and prevention focus. (4:17)

Weird Leadership

People who change things become fanatics first. I became obsessed with developing leadership a few years ago. Many friends thought I was weird. Some friends don’t hang with me anymore. I’m more committed to developing leadership than anyone around me.

Radical leaders create radical change.

Ordinary never satisfies. Fitting in doesn’t work.

Becoming weird:

Develop radical leadership by confronting radical problems.

Stop twiddling your thumbs while waiting for golden opportunities to fall from the sky. Address an issue others see but no one confronts.

Get off your butt and find a problem bigger than you. Big problems are big leadership opportunities.

After finding a big problem, find others who are pissed too.

Create a team of angry people
willing to stop talking and start doing.

Help others believe something must be done!

Warning:

Reject:

1. Magic pills
2. Quick fixes
3. Easy solutions.

If small worked, small leaders would have
already solved the challenge.

Difference:

Just do something. Create an underground movement to simplify bureaucracy in your organization, for example.

1. Change one thing at a time.
2. Create momentum.
3. Grow the team.
4. Seek wisdom from others.
5. Affiliate with other change instigators.
6. Press through resistance. Do-nothing people try to stop do-something people.
7. Get permission later.

People who change things look weird to the rest of us but they aren’t trying to look weird.

Radical dedication to mission makes leaders weird
to those who don’t share their mission.

Additionally, naysayers, sluggards, and drifters believe leaders who are dedicated to radical change are unbalanced, misguided; perhaps even delusional.

Secret:

Follow your anger. Things that make you mad reveal your heart. Transform anger into motivation. Get weird. If you aren’t weird, you don’t care enough.

What ticks you off?

What are you weird about?

Solving the Problem of Too Much Passion

When Vicki Stanford, Director of the Speakers Bureau for The Ken Blanchard Companies, invited me to send a video for one of their webcasts, I sent this video on Un-Leaderlike Moments. It’s how I’m solving the problem of too much passion. (2 min. 47 sec.) :

Solving The Problem of Passion

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How have you seen passion get in the way?

This is my first personal video on Leadership Freak. Feel free to give feedback. By the way, the blurry shirt makes me dizzy!

How to Find Your Passion and Change Your Life

Everyone says, “Follow your passion.” But what if you can’t find it?

Find your passion; don’t wait for it to find you.

Discontent:

Pick the scab of dissatisfaction. Hidden passion often lurks under the surface of discontent. Explore what you don’t like.

What don’t you like about you? Forget what you don’t like about the world. Passion to write Leadership Freak, for example, grew out of disappointment within me – about me.

Explore what you don’t like about what you don’t like?

Comforters kill passion. They’re enemies. Reject comfort. Find passion by following pain. Burning discontent guides.  Those close to you feel compelled to help you feel better. They should help you feel worse.

Strength:

Follow your strength if you can’t find your passion.  Give your abilities to others. This option falls way below following pain, but if you don’t feel dissatisfaction, try it.

Passion isn’t found in current activities, if it was, you’d feel it now. Passion is more about what you aren’t doing. Explore new channels for strengths. Follow your strength if it’s buried, neglected, or under-utilized.

Who:

Your contribution to the world rises up when you work on you. Frantic living muffles passion. Reflect every morning or evening. Take walks. Sit quietly 10 minutes a day.

You can’t escape the tyranny of the urgent because you haven’t given yourself a chance. Walk even if you can’t get stuff off your mind, for example. Keep doing it.

Passion is first about being, then about doing. Embrace the future you.

Find:

Talk with someone who’s found their passion. Forget success; look for contagious joy coupled with discontent. Miserable people won’t help.

Was passion a flickering flame that eventually erupted? Did it strike like lightening? How much of their passion is about them; how much about the world?

 How did you find your passion?

How do you help others find their passion?

Redefining Practical

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” (Often attributed to Thoreau)

I’ve been asking people, “If you started over, knowing what you know today, what would you do differently?”

Paul Smith, author of, “Lead with a Story,” said:

“I’d . . . be less practical in my career choice, and more passionate; I’d pursue bigger ideas, and smaller paychecks; and I’d surround myself with people that share my interests, instead of my income bracket. If we all did that, I think we’d be more excited to get to work than to leave; give more to society than we take; and enjoy more meaningful relationships along the way.”

Can you hear Paul’s song? Maybe practical isn’t practical, after all.

Less practical:

Paul is the Director of Consumer & Communications Research at Procter & Gamble. He spends his days observing and researching what it takes to connect with, inspire, and motivate change in human behavior. He sounds like a practical guy!

Is it time to redefine practical?

The new practical is:

1. Dancing with ideas.
2. Hanging with passionate people who standout rather than fit in.
3. Knowing and following your heart.
4. More art, less efficiency.
5. Joy.
6. Embracing dissatisfaction. Don’t pretending everything’s OK.
7. Spending time in reflection.
8. Rejecting conformity. Just say it, conformity is dull!

What if impractical becomes the new practical?

Practical about being impractical:

I feel like a flower child from the 60′s. My practical voice hates this type of post. Just for today, I’m redefining practical.

You won’t redefine practical in one giant leap. Let the song start softly. Pursue one item from the “new practical” list.

By the way, leaders are less practical than you think. They chase dreams, reject conformity, and take risks.

More:

Paul’s book: Lead with a Story

Paul on Leadership Freak:

The Untapped Secret of Leadership Success

How a Director at P&G Turned Failure to Success

How can you embrace the new practical, today?

10 Ways to Navigate Turbulence

Catastrophe is one decision away during turbulence. Reacting makes you look like a fool, eventually.

Wise leaders respond to turbulence; fools react. Reactions are passionate but uninformed. How many times have decisions outrun information? Ouch! That hurts.

Successful leaders respond; failures react.

“Make it go away,” reflects self-serving reaction. “What caused this,” begins organization-serving response. Circumstances control reactionary leaders; they feel pushed around. Principles guide responsive leaders; they face into the wind.

Establish direction before solving issues.

10 Ways to respond to turbulence:

1. Define smooth sailing. Is smooth sailing an option?
2. Predict duration. Is this a squall?
3. Explore intensity. Is this a hurricane?
4. Examine history. How long has this been brewing?
5. Who or what is at the center? People who consistently cause turbulence won’t solve it.
6. What behaviors, attitudes, or circumstances instigated turbulence? Should they stop or continue?
7. Describe the best next step? Forget perfection.
8. Are you navigating by the stars or controlled by the wind?
9. What new turbulence does the next step create?
10. Is public response warranted?

Bonus: Identify, support, authorize, and follow champions who lead through turbulence.

Hard truth:

Sometimes the ship should sink.

Any organization determined to save itself has lost sight of its mission. It’s not worth saving. Think of all the bureaucratic organizations bailing water to stay afloat.

Turbulence purifies and clarifies. Every response to turbulence clarifies the value you bring and how to bring it best. If you don’t bring value you deserve to sink.

“… In a free market the only way to do well is to do well for others.” Gary Hamel

How can leaders navigate turbulence?

Making Dreams Matter

Dreams smolder and die unless others own them.

Passion isn’t meaningful until it ignites others.

Igniting passion isn’t pumping up. Pumping up:

1. Is fun at events but manipulative as long-term strategy.
2. Places unnecessary burden on leaders and managers.
3. Never lasts.
4. Drains and exhausts. Pumping up pours energy from you to others.

Ignition:

Healthy people all dream the same dream;
they long to matter.

Igniting passion is always about their dream not yours. Leaders are matches. Fire and heat come from others.

Flames ignite the moment others see themselves in your dream. Help them find a place and watch the magic.

They own it when they’re in it.

Release:

Pumping up is pushing. Igniting passion is releasing. Once their fire starts, step back. Don’t control it; focus and fuel it.

1. Avoid limiting. Let your dream grow beyond you.
2. Don’t correct. See where they go.
3. Keep talking big picture and results. Passion and expertise from others fill in details.

Warning:

Details kill baby dreams. Let them grow legs before detailing them to death. Talk “what” when dreams are young. Talk “how” when they can walk.

The right people:

Dream killers are everywhere. Success depends on talking to people who share your values. Casually bring up your idea and watch for the sparkle. If you don’t see it, move on. They may ignite later.

Pulling not pushing:

Passionate people pull you; you don’t push them. There’s nothing better than watching a collection of small fires become one giant blaze.

Surprise:

Keep your dream in the back, like a back-seat drive. Keep their dream in the front. Everyone wants to matter. Give them a way.

Has someone ignited your passion? What did they do?

Have you ignited fires? What did you do?

The Four Powers of Gratitude

Show me a leader who is happy with everything and I’ll show you a loser. The gift of young leaders is unhappiness. The tragedy of old leaders is contentment.

Unhappiness and discontent ignite passion for change.

Warning:

Slime pits of ingratitude lie just beyond unhappiness. Nothing de-motivates like churlish ungratefulness. On the other hand, gratitude provides rich feedback that motivates forward movement.

Gratitude expels.

1. Hate shrivels when gratefulness comes to play.
2. Worry lessens with thankfulness.
3. Unhappiness cringes in the presence of gratitude.
4. Anger softens with thank you.

The 4 powers of gratitude:

1. Freedom from the past. Bitterness binds; gratitude releases.
2. Freedom to celebrate. Do you celebrate enough? No!
3. Freedom to perform. Ungratefulness beats down; gratitude builds up.
4. Freedom to connect.

The connecting power of gratitude:

Gratitude opens hearts. People run toward gratefulness and away from ingratitude.

Thankfulness feels like love.
Ungratefulness feels like hate.

Gratitude invites.
Ingratitude repels.

Gratitude enhances impact.

Feeling or behavior:

Think of gratitude as a behavior not a feeling. Express it; don’t wait to feel it. Behave your way into the feeling. But, never lie.

Be thankful for:

1. Challenges.
2. Lessons learned.
3. Progress.
4. Consistency.
5. Excellence.
6. Opportunities.

Bonus: Be thankful for what you have.

Show me a leader who is ungrateful and I’ll show you a loser. Gratefulness answers the unhappiness leaders feel. Today’s challenge: tap into gratitude.

How has ungratefulness impacted you or your organization?

How has gratitude helped you?

What gratitude tips can you offer?

The Struggle and Power of Divergent Values

It’s a mistake to expect everyone to fully align with your values. Shared values are never fully shared.

Power of values: 

Shared values are the heartbeat of vibrant organizations.

1. Values drive decisions.
2. Decisions drive direction.
3. Direction drives satisfaction.

Diversity in values:

Close alignment and diversity
are better than full alignment and unity.

Mary and Carl share the values of growth and systems, for example. Carl’s top value is systems. He believes systems assure success. Systems precede growth.

On the other hand, Mary’s top value is growth. She prefers learning as you go. Systems follow growth.

They share values but have divergent priorities and intensity. Can you see a collision in the making?

Collisions:

Collisions between values challenge decision making. Do we pursue growth and organize as we go or do we organize first. Mary embraces the former. Carl holds to the latter.

Full alignment of values creates lopsided organizations.
Diversity stabilizes.

Respect:

Successful leader understand varying levels of intensity and priority within shared values. Losing Mary or Carl is problematic.

Divergent values add value.

Both/and:

Successful leaders embrace both/and. Do we pursue growth and create systems as we go or is it the other way around? YES! Wise leadership leverages both.

Breaking points:

Either/or choices occur when Carl refuses to support Mary. On the other hand, as long as Mary respects and supports Carl’s values she enrich their organization. However, when they don’t value the other’s values, one has to go.

Never make the mistake of cutting people off because their values don’t fully align with yours. Successful leaders get excited about things that excite others.

How can leaders navigate diversity in values?

When does diversity become distraction?