5 Ways to Become a Healthy People-Pleaser

Only people-pleasers succeed. The more people you please the more success you enjoy. The list of people who need pleasing includes:

1. Clients.
2. Superiors.
3. Boards.
4. Employees.
5. Colleagues.
6. Vendors.

“Just please yourself,” may be an excuse for lazy, self-indulgence. But, unchecked people-pleasing destroys people.

Five ways to become a healthy people-pleaser:

Please yourself in ways that please others.

I please myself when I write this blog, for example. I write short sentences, paragraphs, and articles. I leave stuff out. Not everyone likes it, but enough do.

Say “no” clearly.

“No” is part of leadership.

1. Listen carefully.
2. Consider prudently.
3. Seek advice.
4. Don’t rush.

But whatever you do, make clear, honest, compassionate decisions. Indecisive leaders, who need to please everyone, end up pleasing no one.

Anticipate information needs.

Eliminate the “wondering factor” with information.

Information pleases; being in the dark frustrates. Understand the information needs of those you serve and exceed them. Knock on their door before they knock on yours.

Wondering if they are wondering stresses you.

Manage expectations.

Pleasing others means meeting or better yet, exceeding expectations. Let them know what to expect. Consider deadlines, for example. Too much need-to-please causes you to accept unrealistic timelines.

Manage expectations before they manage you. Set realistic expectations and exceed them.

Leverage sweet spots.

Align your strength with their need, then trust yourself. Take coaching, for example. Curiosity is my sweet spot. Clients discover insights because I trust my curiosity. Do what you do best, most of the time.

Success is always about pleasing people. Healthy people-pleasers use knowledge of themselves and those they serve to build pleasing relationships and environments.

Still, you can’t please everyone. Don’t try.

How does people pleasing get out of hand?

How can leaders please others in healthy ways?

The Real Reason Teams Don’t Work

Overwork prevents teamwork.

Imagine the feeling of being close to missing a deadline. At 3:00 p.m. a team mate needs your expertise on their marketing project. Are you eager to serve? Or, are they an irritating pain in the a**?

You’re frustrated because you want to help but feel you can’t.

People who can’t get their own work done can’t help others.

When schedules are maxed out teamwork is out.

Overworked leaders don’t have time to help. They are too busy helping themselves. A corporate leader recently said, “My boss is buried. She doesn’t have time or energy to give me.”

Turf wars not teamwork:

“Overworked staff results in turf wars and office politics,” Andy Stanley at Catalyst. Can you see people jockeying for position? Jockeys aren’t team players.

Helping others help others:

1. Get real with workload or teamwork-talk becomes platitudinous drivel.
2. Reward and recognize helpers. Ask, “Who helped you?” at the end of projects.
3. Honor serving. Ask, “Who are you helping?”
4. Ask, “How are you helping others?” What get’s asked about gets done.

Supporting team work:

From Facebook: Leaders support teamwork when they _______.

1. … don’t try to do everything themselves.
2. … are willing to do the nitty-gritty work with team members.
3. … share opportunities, responsibility, and credit.
4. … affirm others’ strengths.
5. … treat team members as stake holders.

More at: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

What are the roadblocks to teamwork in your organization?

How can leaders support team work?