Sour Faces Whining About Sour Faces

I’m sick of organizations that don’t measure what matters.

Production targets flash on computer screens. Today’s production target: 1,500 widgets. Current: 837 widgets. The message: people are tools.

Measurement reflects value.

Where is the morale meter? Morale doesn’t matter when you don’t measure morale building behaviors.

What isn’t measured doesn’t matter,
even if you say it does.

Organizations must measure widget production. No argument from me. But, where the heck are the:

1. Smile meters.
2. Compliment counters.
3. Laugh tracks. (pun intended)
4. Pat-on-the-back targets.

I’m tired of complaints about sad environments. Do something about it.

Place smile-counting buttons on every computer screen. Every time someone smiles at you, push the smile icon. Position a smile-tracking-board in the lobby for everyone to see. I’m not joking.

Go large and create columns on a public board to record: smiles, laughs, compliments, and pats on the back. Go crazy and count the number of jokes told in the office. Give extra credit for bad jokes.

Skeptics:

“What if they don’t mean it, you ask?” Who gives a crap? Just do it. Sarcastic smiles are funny. A begrudging grin is better than no grin.

Smile even if you don’t mean it.
After a while you will.

I’m sick of hearing leaders with sour faces whining about sour faces.

I’ve been places where smiles appear briefly on full moon, when the brave crazies come out.

You’re so full of yourself that you don’t dare measure morale building behaviors because morale sucks so bad in your organization. If you don’t do something about it, learn to enjoy it.

Measure:

Happiness matters. Measure it. What gets measure gets done. By the way, people aren’t tools!

How can leaders focus on happiness without losing sight of results?

Do something to enrich your personal morale. Join me, April 4th, for a FREE – LIVE conference call with Dr. Henry Cloud. Learn the surprising truth that setting boundaries extends results. INFO

Pretending Its OK or Freedom Through Real

Image source by George Hodan

Pretending you have it together indicates you don’t.

Pretending perpetuates problems, propagates failures, and strengthens stress. Worse yet, …

Leaders who pretend lose themselves, bit by bit.

Bill George writes, “One Stanford professor has discovered that the number one fear of top leaders is “being found out.” (The foreword of, “Leadership and the Art of the Struggle,” by Steven Snyder.)

You continue being the problem
until you acknowledge you’re part of the problem.

Get real:

Everyone struggles. Perhaps ignorance is bliss in some contexts but never in leadership.

No one has it all together; pretending won’t make it so.

The leaders you place on pedestals feel confusion, doubt, and fear.

Run from every leader who doesn’t struggle. They’re intentional fakers, deluded, or they wrongly believe being positive is pretending its OK when it isn’t.

Pretending it’s so doesn’t make it so.

The first danger of false positivity:

Problems take root and grow when you close your eyes and pretend.

You can’t address what you pretend isn’t there.

“Tuning out all negative thoughts and emotions can be a roadblock to the honest conversations people need to have with themselves and with others.” Steven Snyder.

The second danger of false positivity:

Ostrich leaders – those who pretend its ok when it’s not – propagate insecure cultures.

Fake faces at the top invalidate your struggle. How can they have it together when you’re falling apart?

Ostrich leaders subtly encourage others to bury their heads in the sand.

Freedom through real:

“Savvy leaders embrace struggle as an opportunity for growth and learning, as an art to be mastered.” Steven Snyder.

The first step toward real is admitting you’re not. Growth and learning begin at that point, not before.

The second step toward real is revealing your true self to trusted friends.

What false beliefs propagate pretending?

How can leaders embrace struggle without losing confidence?

Free chapter of, The Art of The Struggle.” (No email required. Just enjoy.)

How to Become a Culture Building Leader

Lazy leaders blame. Arrogant leaders push down. Fearful leaders push away.

Facebook contributors said, “The worst leaders ______:”

1. Talk too much and think too little.
2. Believe collaboration shows weakness.
3. Fear risk.
4. Need power.
5. Never acknowledge weakness.
6. More (posted on 3/4/13)…

All leaders build organizational culture, worst included.

Negative impact:

Lousy leaders build lousy organizational culture. Anyone suggesting leadership is overrated hasn’t worked with lousy leaders. However…

Power to destroy suggests power to create.

Those who tear down have power to build up.

Culture building leaders:

Dr. Vik (Doc) explains the type of leaders who build empowering organizational cultures in, “The Culture Secret.” Leaders who empower:

1. Connect rather than withdraw. “Leaders can’t lead anything from the office.”
2. Build “chains of empowerment” not “chains of command.”
3. Concentrate on the success of others.
4. Exercise “power with,” not “power over.”
5. Tell people what needs to be done not what to do.
6. Focus on employee strengths.
7. Express gratitude.
8. Make people feel they matter.
9. Emphasize positives even when dealing with negatives.
10. Use “we,” “ours,” and, “us.”
11. Show interest.
12. Know names.

Becoming a culture builder:

1. Believe you matter in the face of obstacles, opposition, and negativity.
2. Choose creation over destruction.
3. Courageously dream and consistently talk about what could be.
4. Find and exploit points of alignment. Don’t push against, pull with.
5. Keep smiling.

I’m recommending, “The Culture Secret,” for any leaders looking to ramp up their culture building skills and activities.

Connect with Doc:

Linkedin

What behaviors do culture building leaders exhibit?

What activities build empowering cultures?

I Don’t Butt Heads with the CEO of Zappos

Image source by Hana Muchova'

Many CEO’s are told what they want to hear, rather than what team members really think. That’s a foolish way to avoid butting heads with the boss.

I asked Jamie Naughton, Speaker of the House for Zappos, to talk about a time when she butted heads with her famous CEO, Tony Hsieh. Jamie indicated that issues don’t escalate to head butting.

“There’s no argument, ever. If I don’t like something, then I just say it.”

How to avoid butting heads with the boss:

1. Establish disagreement-rules. Ask your CEO how he best receives disagreement.
2. Fully align with organizational values.
3. Advocate for the organization not yourself.
4. Say what you believe not what’s expected.
5. Disagree early, clearly, politely, and specifically.
6. Constantly communicate. Express opinions when you have them. Flare ups occur when issues build up.
7. Once decisions are made, grab an oar and row, regardless of your position.

Bonus: Add positive options.

Butting heads and who decides:

“The best thing about Tony as a CEO, as a boss, … He will give direction. He will give advice. … He’s going to be part of the conversation but he’s not the decision-maker.” Jamie Naughton.

Corporate teams fear CEO’s because CEO’s make too many decisions. Jamie explained that her boss would never make a decision about phone systems or sponsorship opportunities, for example. “Why would he approve a sponsorship when we have a marketing team who’s trained?” Jamie Naughton.

“He’s – Tony Hsieh – not going to interfere with my department because I know it best. He’s going to offer suggestions and I take it or leave it.” Jamie Naughton.

What suggestions do you have for disagreeing with the boss?

***

Bonus material: Jamie Naughton in her own words. (6 min.)

***

Connect with Jamie:

Jamie Naughton works directly with Tony Hsieh as the Speaker of the House for Zappos.

LinkedIn

Twitter: @Jamstar

***

The Surprising Path to Happiness at Work

Image source by Petr Kratochvil

You enjoy work but hate the paperwork. If paperwork isn’t sapping your joy, it’s the people.

Jamie Naughton, Speaker of the House for Zappos, told me she used to think, “Happiness at work was more in your job duties.”

We wrongly believe happiness at work is exclusively about what we do.

Doing your duty isn’t enough.

The path to happiness at work:

Jamie said, “People are really, really bad at predicting what will bring them sustained happiness.” She said we wrongly believe a new job, promotion, or getting a new boss will make us happy.

The Zappos path to happiness at work includes:

1. What you do.
2. How you do it.
3. Who you do it with.
4. How the environment supports your work.

My experience shows, who you work with has greater impact on job happiness than what you do. You enjoy ho-hum work if you love the people. On the other hand, you hate your job if the people drive you crazy.

Core ingredient to happiness at work:

“[Happiness at work is about a number of things] and one of them is connectedness.”

“Having best friends at work is really important. And having an environment where you feel like people support you and they’re more like family will make you happier.” Jamie Naughton

Jamie Naughton

Connecting:

I asked Jamie how leaders create environments where people feel connected. She explained that it’s about knowing people beyond their jobs.

1. Know your team outside of the work they do.
2. Treat co-workers like family.
3. What’s important to them has to be important to me.

Successful leaders create environments
where people connect.

Jamie Naughton works directly with Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos. She lives the connection message when she says, “Tony is my friend.”

Four minutes with Jamie on happiness at work.

Connect with Jamie:

LinkedIn

Twitter: @Jamstar

Related: How the CEO of Zappos Solves Problems

How are you connecting?

How are you helping people connect?

Drift

Life goes where you look.
Drift is inevitable.
Course correction is normal.

Cars and motorcycles drift where drivers look. Skiers and runners go where their eyes go. Individuals and organizations drift toward short-term views and urgencies. Drift demands intervention.

Uncorrected drift always end badly.

Drifting:

“Everything’s running smoothly,” may indicate drifting. No one notices gentle drift. Sudden changes and giant shifts grab attention but drift invites slumber.

Drift always becomes crisis. Organizations quietly drift until someone looks around and says, “How the heck did we get here?” That’s when finger pointing starts. But fingers often point in wrong directions.

Drift is always leadership’s failure.
Neglect allows drift.

Organizations drift because:

1. Pointing out drift makes you look foolish because drift is no big deal, at first. Other’s wonder what you’re all excited about. They say, “Chill! It’s no big deal.”
2. Day-to-day dominates attention.
3. Busyness is honored.
4. Productivity isn’t measured.
5. Urgency defeats priority.

Focus on today while managing. Focus on tomorrow while leading. Bennis said, “Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.”

Dealing with drift:

1. Pay attention to attention. At lunch evaluate morning focus, for example. What captured your thoughts? What attitude dominated your thinking? How are you making others feel?
2. Set appointments with forward-thinking-time. Ask, “What destinations are established by current directions. If nothing changes where will we be next year?”
3. Courageously, “Act like then is now,” Andy Stanley.
4. Clarify mission and vision, constantly.
5. Face problems with optimism, not blinders.
6. Create celebration points. Celebrations help others focus on what’s important.

Focus don’t drift:

What you pay attention to, you become.

1. Focus on what can’t be done to feel powerless.
2. Concentrate on problems apart from next steps makes you negative.
3. Appreciate and develop strengths to feel capable.

What causes personal or organizational drift?

How can you begin dealing with drift, today?

Life Lessons from Amy Lyman, Co-Founder of Great Place to Work®

Image source

I asked Amy Lyman, co-founder of the Great Place to Work® Institute, what she would do differently if she could start over.

She said, “I would not do anything differently as I don’t think about my life and work in that way. What I do try to do is think about how to go forward, taking the lessons I’ve learned along the way to make my life better and the lives of others better.”

5 life lessons from Amy Lyman:

1. Go forward in life with confidence that what you have chosen to do is valuable to the world at large and important to you personally.
2. Take time to choose wisely. Pursue a career or way of life at a reasonable pace that enables you to enjoy being alive.
3. Treat people with respect and fairness, without manipulation or deception, so that you are always able to look people in the eye.
4. Share the joys and burdens of work with your colleagues and co-workers, and when you have the opportunity to do so, share the rewards as well – fairly and equitably. From my many years of work with people in great workplaces in which relationships are built on trust, I’ve seen again and again the power of shared burdens and shared rewards.
5. Pursue happiness – our time on earth is brief in the grand scheme of things and a bigger car, bigger house or corner office pale in comparison to being happy.

My favorite:

When I hear Amy say, “Go forward in life with confidence…,” The words, “believe you matter,” bounce in my head. Stop trying to matter and know you do. Now, go do what matters.

More from Amy Lyman:

• Her blog: An extended response to the question: Choices for the New Year.
• Her book: The Trustworthy Leader. (Highly Recommended)

Amy on Leadership Freak:

• How to Create Buy-In Before You Blowup
• The Secret to a Great Place to Work
• How to Move Through Uncertainty to Opportunity
• Amy Lyman Kicked my Assumptions

Which of Amy’s life lessons gets traction in your thinking? Why?

What life lessons do you frequently share?

Create Culture by Celebrating Small

Hate your work environment? Build rather than tear down. Whining reinforces negative environments. Celebrations build and reinforce positive environments.

Celebrations create culture.

Sadly, short-sighted leaders are stingy with positives and free with negatives. All they talk about is:

1. What went wrong?
2. What needs to be fixed?
3. What fell short?

Negative celebrations build negative environments.

Additionally, thoughtless leaders  reserve celebrations for “the big stuff.”

Celebrate more; celebrate small.

Celebratory questions:

Ask these questions to colleagues and employees.

1. What qualities do you respect in those around you?
2. What do you love about your job?
3. What’s going right?

Celebration in meetings:

End every meeting with affirmations, congratulations, and recognition.

Saying, “Great job,” keeps everyone doing a great job.

Power tip: Let small celebrations stand on their own. Little negatives at the end drain positives of their power.

Celebrate small:

1. Smiles.
2. Pleasant attitudes. “Your positive attitude lifts the spirit in our office.” Don’t add, “You should try it more often.”
3. Laughter. “I love the sound of your laugh.”
4. Kindness.
5. Generosity.
6. Things others do that you can’t. “You’re great with upset customers.” Don’t add, “I wish I was.”
7. Happy customers.
8. The present. Don’t let past failure or future uncertainties prevent celebrating now.
9. Human contact and relationships.
10. Insights. The next time someone shares something they learned from a book, celebrate. Perhaps you don’t get it. They do, so celebrate.

Bonus: Transform criticism into celebration. “Thanks for caring for my success. What’s the next step?”

Self-reflect:

How do people feel when you’re around? Your answer explains the culture you’re building. Truth is, it explains the life you’re building.

How can leaders celebrate more and celebrate small?

Overcoming the 7 Deadly Results of Meddling

Passion for excellence, demand to meet numbers, slow progress, and fierce competition drive managers to step in and “help.”

Never help without asking, it’s meddling.

Ask first; ask often.

Don’t reserve, “How can I help?” for short-fall situations. It sends a message. They aren’t cutting the mustard.

Build supportive cultures by asking, “How can I help?” first and frequently. Ask when things are great.

Avoid, “Do you need help?”

“Do you need help?” is a yes or no question suggesting failure, distress, or weakness. “How can I help?” implies good will and collaboration.

What if they don’t know?

It’s your fault if they need help and don’t know it? Goals are fuzzy, deliverables are distant and obscure, feedback is rare, or reporting is sporadic. Clarify expectations up front. Ask, “How is your project going?” more often. Meddlers unexpectedly intervene in the middle.

Don’t meddle in the middle; help along the way.

Address a foggy middle with collaborative conversations. Clarify goals and outcomes. Set dates for progress reports. Ask, “How can I help.”

Meddling:

1. Insults.
2. De-motivates.
3. Suggests disappointment.
4. Controls and frustrates.
5. Begins with your frustration and creates frustration in others.
6. Ends thought. They say, “ OK, what do you want to do?”
7. Weakens relationships.

Helping:

1. Energizes.
2. Instills confidence.
3. Releases and frees.
4. Ends frustration.
5. Invites creativity.
6. Strengthens connections.
7. Affirms others and equalizes social status.

Today’s challenge: Ask, “How can I help?” twice before lunch and twice after lunch.

Thanks to the former CEO of Campbell’s Soup, Doug Conant, for his passionate, “How can I help?” approach to leadership. It helps me.

Great insights from my Facebook family: Helping becomes meddling when ______.

How does meddling make you or others feel?

What does healthy helping look like from your perspective?

The Four Powers of Gratitude

Show me a leader who is happy with everything and I’ll show you a loser. The gift of young leaders is unhappiness. The tragedy of old leaders is contentment.

Unhappiness and discontent ignite passion for change.

Warning:

Slime pits of ingratitude lie just beyond unhappiness. Nothing de-motivates like churlish ungratefulness. On the other hand, gratitude provides rich feedback that motivates forward movement.

Gratitude expels.

1. Hate shrivels when gratefulness comes to play.
2. Worry lessens with thankfulness.
3. Unhappiness cringes in the presence of gratitude.
4. Anger softens with thank you.

The 4 powers of gratitude:

1. Freedom from the past. Bitterness binds; gratitude releases.
2. Freedom to celebrate. Do you celebrate enough? No!
3. Freedom to perform. Ungratefulness beats down; gratitude builds up.
4. Freedom to connect.

The connecting power of gratitude:

Gratitude opens hearts. People run toward gratefulness and away from ingratitude.

Thankfulness feels like love.
Ungratefulness feels like hate.

Gratitude invites.
Ingratitude repels.

Gratitude enhances impact.

Feeling or behavior:

Think of gratitude as a behavior not a feeling. Express it; don’t wait to feel it. Behave your way into the feeling. But, never lie.

Be thankful for:

1. Challenges.
2. Lessons learned.
3. Progress.
4. Consistency.
5. Excellence.
6. Opportunities.

Bonus: Be thankful for what you have.

Show me a leader who is ungrateful and I’ll show you a loser. Gratefulness answers the unhappiness leaders feel. Today’s challenge: tap into gratitude.

How has ungratefulness impacted you or your organization?

How has gratitude helped you?

What gratitude tips can you offer?