The Five Powers of Permission

Old styles of leadership are about giving permission to supplicants. Followers seek permission. It’s an “I/you” rather than “we” dynamic. Leaders have power while followers ask.

I/you leadership is disengaging and disempowering.

Successful leaders do more than give permission, they get it. Permission answers the question, “Is it ok with you if we talk about something?”

Five Powers of Permission:

1.  “May I …” builds trust.
2. “Would it be ok if …” shares power.
3. “Do you mind if …” equalizes social status.
4. “Could we discuss…” prevents stagnation. Permission moves the agenda forward when topics are awkward.
5. “Is it ok with you, if…” engages.

Permission opens doors, protects relationships, and prevents stagnation.

Ask permission to:

1. Bring up uncomfortable topics. Set a date for the conversation.
2. Explore progress.
3. Correct. “May I …”
4. Challenge.
5. Give feedback.
6. Say what you see. “Is it ok if I share something I see …”

Four responses to NO:

When permission isn’t granted? Ask:

1. How business-critical is the topic?
2. Is there a deeper issue to address?
3. Can you let it go?
4. Must you address it, regardless?

When topics are mission critical, say, “We need to talk about this soon.”

Just a courtesy:

Isn’t asking permission just social courtesy? Yes, sometimes it is. But, social courtesies smooth and protect. Perhaps you prefer to be discourteous and abrasive?

Four reasons leaders don’t ask permission:

1. Arrogance. It’s too humbling to ask and too easy to tell.
2. Fear of seeming weak.
3. Fear of losing power.
4. Authoritarian rather than relational leadership styles.

What does permission-leadership look like in your world?

What are the pros and cons of permission-leadership?

How to Protect and Enhance Your Strengths

Your strengths have dark sides that limit potential, destroy achievement, and hamstring opportunities.

Powerful strengths become anchors without softeners. The difference between mediocre and extraordinary success is tempering qualities.

Task oriented leaders come off as people-users more interested in finishing projects than the people completing them. Temper your strength with:

1. Palpable expressions of kind heartedness. Your rush to completion makes you seem unkind.
2. Making others feel liked and appreciated.
3. Environments where honoring achievement is frequently given and received.

Quick minded decisive leaders seem harsh and become untrustworthy without powerful moorings. Temper your strength with:

1. Strong unquestioned alignment with organizational values that guide decisions.
2. Obvious orientations to selflessly choose the best for others and their organization.
3. Unquestioned commitment to noble ethical standards, to always do the right thing.

Mentoring leaders seem like complaining meddlers. Temper your strength by:

1. Infusing hope – expectations for success – into others.
2. Giving time and space to develop. Patiently step back.
3. Maintain cheerfulness in the face of behavioral problems to solve and leadership qualities to develop.

All leaders:

Successful leaders develop all the qualities, behaviors, and attitudes I listed. However, if your needle tips toward one of the leadership styles I mentioned the corresponding tempering qualities are essentials not options.

Apart from tempering qualities, you’ll crash on the rocks with peers, employees, and organizations. Enhance don’t undermine your highest potential.

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Have you seen leadership strength become hindrances?

What tempering qualities can you add?

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