Making Sense of Sandy Hook

There is no making sense of the tragedy at Sandy Hook or other past, present, and future tragedies.

Reasons help but they don’t make sense of something. It helps to say the gunman was on drugs or crazy, but only a little.

Job, the oldest book in the Christian Bible, confronts human tragedy. At one point, the main character says, “Though He (God) slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job wasn’t making sense of things. He was responding.

There is only response.

I remember recorded phone messages from the past 9/11 tragedy. Their voices whispered, “I love you.” Today, people in Sandy Hook gather together, all bewildered and broken hearted, some angry, but most importantly, loving each other.

Tomorrow’s tragedy waits. It doesn’t make sense to me but I know it’s there.

We’ll try making sense of 20 children and 6 adults dead. At best, we’ll find reasons that might explain but won’t satisfy. The same thing is happening across the globe in places like China or Africa. And what about tsunamis, fires, earth quakes, and …

Response: lead with love.

Hitler led but he didn’t lead with love for others. Great leaders love people, organizations, products, and services. Most importantly, they love making things better.

Leading with love also means preparing for and preventing tragedies.

Leaders who love, express:

1. Compassion toward the broken.
2. Correction toward the confused.
3. Confrontation toward the belligerent.

Join me in praying for suffering people in Sandy Hook and around the globe. Additionally, renew your commitment to lead with love wherever you are.

What does loving leadership look like?

Right or Wrong Isn’t the Issue

This post is inspired by a reader who writes,

“I believe that leaders make decision not based on what is right or wrong but what is relevant in the context.”

Most leadership decisions are about good, better, and best, not right and wrong. They aren’t moral.

Moral decisions aren’t compromised. Options,
on the other hand, are explored and modified.

Treating non-moral decisions like moral – right or wrong – choices, establishes adversarial relationships. Church people do this when they fight over methods, programs, or the color of the church’s front door.

Treating options like moral decisions makes
you look like an out-of-balance fool. Chill out!

Options have a good, better, or best. Explore, explain, and lobby for the option you think is best. Give reasons and data. Then make a choice.

Don’t be offended, but non-moral
choices can always be improved.

After choices:

Passionate implementation, not second guessing,  follows decisions. Grab an oar and row. But, you ask, “What if I disagree? Get over it or get out.

One of the hardest leadership challenges is dealing with good people who drag their feet. Detractors and foot draggers always harm organizations. Get them fully on board or eliminate them.

Encourage passionate debate before choices are made; after, call for passionate loyalty.

After implementation:

Implementation is followed by evaluation. Evaluation isn’t second guessing; it’s the pursuit of good, better, or best.

Evaluation isn’t, “I wish we would have, or, I told you so.” It’s, “How do we improve?” Saying, “Should have,” doesn’t sit well with those who are giving their best.

Cowards stand in the shadows second guessing. On the other hand, committed leaders say, “Here’s where we are, how can we improve?”

There are many solutions to complex problems.

Have you seen leaders who made decisions as if they were moral choices? What happens?

How are options best explored?

Something Harder than Believing in Yourself

If you think believing in yourself is hard, try believing in others.

Every leadership development tool, technique, method, and strategy fades in comparison to the power of belief. Everyone needs someone who believes in them; young leaders need it the most.

The people who change us the most believe in us the most.

The first person I coached changed when they understood their employer believed in them enough to invest time, energy, and money. It was belief – not pearls of wisdom – that lowered their walls or protection and gave them permission to change.

People worry less about proving themselves and more about performance when they believe others believe in them.

Unbelief:

Believing is risky. We don’t believe in others because we’re afraid they’ll make us look bad. In the end, the ability to believe is about us.

How to let others know you believe in them:

1. Learn who they are.
2. Provide opportunities, challenges, and risks.
3. Explore options and solutions with them. “What would you do?”
4. Call for and expect high performance.
5. Explain the whys behind what you’re doing.
6. Express confidence in their abilities. Be specific.
7. Help them learn from failure rather than beating them up with it.
8. Speak well of them in front of others.
9. Connect them with experienced mentors.
10. Deal with them according to potential.
11. Invest your time in them.
12. Keep your distance. As long as they know you’re on their team, don’t meddle.
13. Avoid molding them into your likeness; help them find their own.
14. Tell the truth even when it hurts them.
15. Celebrate their efforts and contributions; minimize yours.

All successful leaders courageously believe in others.

How do you let others know you believe in them?

How do you decide to believe in someone else?