Exposing god-like Advisers
There’s a long line of individuals who tell you how to lead. Nearly all do the same thing. They tell you how they would do it. But, they aren’t you.
Arrogant advisers believe they are gods molding people into their image, whether they admit it or not.
Many have given me advice, over the years. Nearly all told me how to improve by becoming more like them; its arrogance, perhaps unintentional, but arrogance none the less.
Additionally, I’ve watched older leaders advising young leaders. I’ve seen them puff up because advice-giving is heady for those molding the world into their image. It affirms their god complex. It’s disgusting.
I can count on one hand the number of humble advisers I’ve been privileged to learn from.
Humble advisers help mold you into your best self, not theirs.
One of my trusted advisers offered me some unrequested feedback yesterday. It was about the use of video in a presentation. I’d changed a technique and he noticed it right away. It was useful, not because he wants me to be like him, but because he knows and accepts who I want to be.
6 components of humble advice:
- Explore your advisee’s person, intentions and goals. Arrogant advisers believe they know when they don’t.
- Uncover gaps between intention and behavior. Powerful feedback begins with, “It looks like you’re trying to accomplish (insert goal) when you (insert behavior).”
- Dig into attitudes and behaviors that hinder progress. “What isn’t working?”
- Ask, “What would your best self, do?”
- Apply strengths. “How can your strengths, passions, and skills more fully align with your intentions?”
- Throw yourself into the mix. “Have you thought about (insert behavior)?”
What type of adviser best helps you?
What type of adviser do you want to be?