Facing Reluctance


Don’t waste yourself. You can – you must – lead.

Every connection, challenge, problem, pain-point, opportunity, or exchange, opens doors to leadership – to make things better.


  1. Embarrassment with your desire to make things better.
  2. Waiting for titles or position. Leadership isn’t a title.
  3. Beat-down from do-nothing detractors.
  4. Traditional command and control leadership.

Every time you stifle your longing to matter,
you lose a piece of yourself.


Are you uncomfortable with the terms leader and leadership? Redefine them. Leadership is:

  1. Influencing. Ask, “What’s important?”
  2. Seeking a step toward better. Ask, “What’s next?”
  3. Bringing value to others. Ask, “How can I help?”
  4. Solving problems with others. Ask, “Can we fix this?”
  5. Bringing yourself to challenges and opportunities. Ask, “What can I bring?”

If you can’t say, “I’m a leader,” say I’m an:

  1. Influencer.
  2. Collaborator.
  3. Solution seeker.
  4. Simplifier.
  5. Liberator.
  6. Next step taker.
  7. Value adder.
  8. Improver.

Don’t let others define you. Define yourself in terms of  your passion. Stop muffling your inner longing to make a difference.

8 tips for finding your leadership:

  1. Give yourself permission. It’s always OK to do good.
  2. Be you. If you like organizing, then organize, for example.
  3. Help others know they matter. You matter most when you help others know they matter.
  4. Step toward better.
  5. Thank critics. “Thanks for telling me I can’t make a difference!” (sarcasm) Losers want you to lose too.
  6. Tell a friend you want to step up.
  7. Do something every week that develops you.
  8. Bring others in. Leaders connect rather than retreat.


If everyone leads, who follows? Leading includes following, supporting, and enabling. Leading isn’t fighting for power and control. Great followers have hearts of leaders.

Listen to secret, stifled yearnings that whisper, “You matter.”  You’re surrounded by “ordinary” people who lead. Be one. Do something.

How can reluctant leaders find their leadership?

keynotes and workshops