7 Ways to Break the Bondage of Old Patterns

Predictability is stability, until it shackles.

Old patterns are hard to break because they worked, once. But, you’ve changed and what worked once is bondage now.

pattern

Patterns establish predictability,
but they also anchor to an unsatisfying past.

New patterns are hard for you to make when others respond to you with old patterns in mind. They’re stuck.

Old patterns:

You were an angry leader. Now, you feel compassion for others and yourself. But, when you show compassion, people wonder what you’re after. They keep their guard up.

You used to keep people at arms-length. Now, you want to connect. But, when you try connecting, people feel awkward. “Why is she asking about my family?”

You were overly cautions. Now, you see the need for decisiveness. But, when you make decisions, people push back. They’re comfortable with the cautious leader they used to know.

Who changes:

When you break an old pattern – act unpredictably – you violate expectations and destabilize relationships.

When you change, you’re asking those around you to change. Relationships and interactions fragment, until others accept and adapt to the new you.

Your personal transformation breaks old patterns and calls on those connected to you to transform as well.

7 ways to break old patterns:

  1. Allow your inner-circle to see the journey. Allow time. Its hard for them, too.
  2. Realize some will reject you. This is the toughest aspect to breaking old patterns. Some relationships fall by the way. It hurts.
  3. Break patterns with the new you in mind. Don’t react against the old. Affirm a positive path forward. “I’m not going to…,” doesn’t work.
  4. Remain open. Openness guards pattern-breaking from arrogance.
  5. Chill out. You may swing too far, too fast.
  6. Consider changing jobs and starting fresh.
  7. Find a coach, mentor, or friend who has broken their old patterns.

How can leaders break old patterns without breaking established relationships?