12 Ways to Enlarge the Way People Feel About Themselves

Immature leaders wonder, “How do you feel about me?” Mature leaders wonder, “How do you feel about yourself?”

Leadership includes how others feel about themselves because of your influence. 

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If you want to change an organization, change the way people think and feel about themselves.

Intimidated:

I was disappointed when my daughter said that I intimidate others and she thought I wanted to.

I still struggle to accept her observation. It doesn’t align with the way I see myself. (That’s the nature of blindspots.) Even if I don’t like it, she brings up an important issue.

How do you want others to feel about themselves when you’re around?

Negative or positive:

Negative:

  1. Weak.
  2. Fearful.
  3. Unworthy.
  4. Out of place.

Positive:

  1. Powerful.
  2. Respected.
  3. Connected.
  4. Worthy.
  5. Bold.
  6. Valued.
  7. Competent.

One leader said, “I want others to feel they have something to add.”

12 ways to enlarge the way people feel about themselves:

  1. Listen deeply and explore assumptions.
  2. Follow through on suggestions.
  3. Begin with flexibility.
  4. Share stories of your successes and failures.
  5. Show compassion when using authority.
  6. Give authority.
  7. Hold yourself to high standards.
  8. Use kindness even when dealing with tough issues.
  9. Help others learn from failure, rather than punishing them.
  10. Don’t meddle.
  11. Smile.
  12. Notice progress.

Servant leaders expand potential by enlarging the way people think and feel about themselves. Arrogant leaders elevate and enlarge themselves.

Tip: You don’t have to put yourself down in order to lift others up.

What might you do today to inspire the feelings you want others to feel about themselves?

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