July 2, 2011 I decided to adopt the 4 to 1 rule. I challenge you to do the same. Every negative comment requires four positive comments.
I know what some of you are thinking; that’s impossible.
Let me clarify. Make as many negative comments as you like. The challenge is following every negative with four positives.
My first efforts at the 4 to 1 rule were mediocre. I’m good for 1.5 positive statements before a “yeah but” emerges. The “yeah but” added four more positives and took me to six before finishing the first cycle. I have a ways to go but I’m going for it.
I’m finding ways to positively state negatives so I don’t have to come up with four positives. For example, “You did that wrong” becomes “I’m confident you can do better.”
Why is this important:
Words are rudders; they set and maintain the direction of life. Positive words take you where you want to go.
A real challenge:
Would you like a real challenge? Apply the 4 to 1 rule to your thoughts as well. Every negative thought is answered with four positive thoughts.
We need bumper stickers, tee shirts, bill boards, and tattoos.
Another clarification; negative is negative. Include true negative statements in the 4 to 1 rule. “That ass just cut me off, is a true negative statement that calls for four positives statements.
The simplest positive is an expression of gratitude. When you struggle to find a positive be thankful for something, anything. Don’t connect the positive with the negative; just say anything positive.
Two side benefits:
People enjoy positive people.
You force yourself, in addition, to focus more on things you want rather than things you don’t want. You become a “yes” person rather than a “no” person.
Follow-up post: See the Good, Say the Good - Another Strategy for Developing a Positive Attitude.
How are you building a positive orientation toward life?
Can you take the 4 to 1 challenge?
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